Hello! I have a lot to say. I am trying to keep it short.There are lot of issues in my family.One among them is - My dad and mom had parted ways when I was 4 years old. My dad is a psycho. He always troubles our family. There are lot of issues between us in the court and police. I and my mom are currently in my grandparent's house.I do not have a sibling and cousin. I have two cousins,but they are kids.So, I dont have anyone to share my feelings. I do not have friends because no one in this world is interested to help with other's problems. Everyone wants to have friends only just to have fun. No one is true to no one. I just have friends only for formality both in school and college. I am not in touch with my school friends because of the reason I mentioned above. I am currently doing my 2nd year college. I dont like the friends circle here. It was not as expected. I have 2 good friends around me in college. But they too dont understand my problems. Even though they know that I have many issues in my life,they speak only about college matter and other fun stuffs. I always suppress all my feelings inside me since my school life and I got used to that. Now, it has led me into trouble. I cant tolerate it anymore. I want a person to share my feelings and I too want to be true to that person. I need either a friend, cousin, sibling like person or a life partner. I am a loyal,caring, trustable and helping minded person and I need a person with the same qualities for me. I never leave people and run away during their toughest times.But it is hard to find people who do the same to me. It is not possible in this world.
I joined BFSc course in college with my own,whole hearted interest. But I am unable to focus on it even though I want to. I am zero now. I dont know what to do. I feel jealous by seeing people with siblings. They help each other in difficult times and by seeing that I always feel that I dont have anyone for me. It puts me into so much stress. I lack concentration and focus in things I love to do. I got addicted to phone by playing games,listening to music and watching videos because i dont have any true people around me to speak with. I am lagging in everything in my life. I always overthink. I have insomnia. I have fear to mingle with people because my dad always troubles whoever are our close friends or relatives. Surely most of my friends will not be friend with me if my dad troubles them too. Because my friends cant understand my issues. They have been brought up by their parents so happily without facing any issues. So if they know about my dad , they will surely dont be friend with me. ( I am not assuming it.I promise. I analyse people so deeply and correctly. 90% ).
I and 3 of my friends usually walk to our college after getting down from the bus daily. One is a boy and the other 3 are girls. We are dayscholars. My dad once saw us walking together in the road. He came to a temple in that road. I suddenly stopped speaking to my friend and walked fast in front so that my dad will not trouble them. But he went behind and spoke with that boy and asked why he spoke with me. That boy is my good friend . He told that I am his friend. And then my dad warned him and went immediately. My dad did this to give mental torture to me. He didnt mistake that boy. And then when I went near my friend and asked what he said, my friend told no problem we can go. And then I asked him again. Then he told me what my dad said. I called my mom and she apologised to my friend. My friend told he did not mistake me and it is not an issue. He is a good friend . But my doubt is from that day to till now he did not ask me what is the issue between me and my father. He did not ask me what problem i am facing in my life. He always speaks only about fun stuff daily in college. So , i feel he is not a true friend . He only wants to have fun with me. He is good,loyal, helping minded person. But I dont understand why my friends dont care about my issues.
My dad may again come to that road and make more trouble than before. My fear is people around me in that road may mistake the problem and think that I am not obeying my dad. So I feel helpless. My mom told about that incident to the court and the judge warned my dad. But as I told my dad is a psycho he will trouble us again.
In future wherever I go for work or higher studies , there also my father may trouble me , and I feel that people around me wont help me and understand me. That is my major problem. Most of the people in this world are selfish and dont want to help others. I feel so depressed nowadays. I am helpless. I have mentioned here only some of my issues. A lot are there...Please help me out. I am helpless.
It's natural to want a partner who can understand your inner world at a deeper level and share in your struggles. I can see how you're attracted to the idea of being with someone who struggles like you as it allows a deeper bonding and mutual understanding.
Your therapist has probably advised against the idea of seeking out a partner with BPD because they've seen how these relationships can be quite intense and volatile, and it can be very difficult for both people involved. For example, it's common that in this type of relationship the slightest disagreement can trigger a burst of anger, fear of abandonment and other intense feelings. It can go from seeing each other as a perfect match to experiencing distrust and even hate towards each other, when people might act impulsively to harm one another.
It's possible to have a healthy and positive relationship with someone who shares a diagnosis, but it needs a lot of effort and openness between the partners. It might work if both parties are committed to therapy, working on their own issues, and are willing to support each other to make positive changes.
It seems like you’ve been aware of the needs behind being attracted to the idea of this kind relationship. I suggest that rather than focusing on the diagnosis itself, consider the specific traits that draw you to this type of connection, and whether those needs could be met through other relationships. For example, with someone who is deeply empathetic and understands the condition or is willing to learn more about it. Think if there's something else despite the need for understanding and support, that attracts you, like a need for excitement and passion. See if there are other ways to fulfill these needs, like through hobbies, adventures or trying new things together.
If pursuing a relationship with someone with BPD, reflect carefully on what would make it succeed despite the challenges. What qualities would you need to see in them beyond their diagnosis (e.g. commitment to therapy and self-improvement)? How would you actively work to make it healthy for both of you (e.g. setting healthy boundaries, communicating openly about issues, sticking to your own therapy)? Going into it with eyes wide open can set the stage for growth.
Every relationship is different and it really depends on the individuals whether a relationship will work or not. It's important to be aware of the risks and know what to do in order to increase the chances of the relationship being healthy and fulfilling for both of you.
When dating someone the first thing you might look is similar interest, appearance, goals align with yours, understanding. Regardless of how compatible you might be but dating has its own struggles. Every relationship has its own challenges so dating a bi-polar or not will still have its own set of challenges. At the end it takes hardwork in any relationship from both partners to make it successful.
Dating a bipolar has its own advantages and disadvantages. Now that you have the thought its best you just understand the pro's and con's if you are planning to get into a relationship with bi polar or if you are planning to act on it in the future.
There are pro's in dating a bipolar. Dating a bipolar would automatically make you empathetic towards each other. You would have less work to do when it comes to educating your partner about bipolar disorder. There will be less fear of rejection or stigma attached about Bipolar.
Being a bipolar the shift in mood can make communication and socializing difficult. when just one person lives with bipolar disorder the other partner may take on the additional task and responsibilities providing invaluable support and care. When both people in a romantic relationship live with this condition they may have to rely on each other for support. while symptoms of bipolar can be managed with medication and psychotherapy but they still can take a toll on relationship. For the best chance of success in a relationship it is very neccesary that you :