I feel you should confront him, he might feel belittled by you, because of which he might want to change or be a better person, you should talk to him about it express how you feel , ow you feel watching your mother in this situation, I feel it'll help.
Confronting him will be a good idea, so that he understands how is he jeopardizing the whole family, what instability he can bring to the mental health of his family members
you need to talk to him about it, take the step to save your family, if no-one is doing anything doesn't mean you won't either.
@shanaya any tips for better confronting???
@bubu any tips on better confronting
@ahaan any tips in better confronting
@Dr. Elisabeth Jones thanks it will help me a lot
I need to build courage to speak up
Hello!
In my opinion, you have two options now — either leave things as they are or talk to your dad. You say that you’re afraid that this talk can ruin your relationship. But ask yourself whether you’re happy with the situation and relationship in your family. I guess no.
I can understand your confusion though. Keeping silent creates an illusion that everything is OK. But this is only an illusion. How long are you going to play this game? Sometimes it really takes a lot of courage to have an open communication. But this is the only option in your situation. As long as you keep silent you spend a great deal of energy by playing this situation in your head over and over again.
In order to find courage and start this conversation I suggest you make a plan. Write down the main issues you would like to discuss with your father.
If you want this conversation to be more effective try to avoid blaming. The main thing here is to let your father know about your feelings and emotions in this situation. You can use so called “I-statements” to achieve this.
This is how it works.
1. Event (describing the situation). You can start a conversation with the word “When”. For example: “Dad, when I learned that you dated another woman…”
2. Your reaction (describing the feelings). Such sentences usually start with the phrase “I feel…”. For example: “Dad, when I learned that you dated another woman, I felt angry, outraged, irritated and hurt”.
3. Explanation (describing how you see this situation). You should start with the phrase “It means to me that…”. For example: “It means to me that you no longer respect our family, both me and mom”.
4. A wish (describing what you want). Begin your statement with the words “I would like to…”. For example: “Dad, I would like you to stop any relationship outside our family”.
To sum everything up, you will have something like this: “Dad, when I learned that you dated another woman, I felt angry, outraged, irritated and hurt. It means to me that you no longer respect our family, both me and mom. Dad, I would like you to stop any relationship outside our family”.
This message has three goals. First, you let him understand that you know about the situation. Second, you express your emotions. Third, you describe your attitude towards the situation.
Of course, you can’t make your father stop dating other women. But when you tell him about how you feel, your father will definitely react to this somehow. And it will set the stage for further communication.