It's been a year I'm struggling with my life. My self confidence got to low I can't go to public areas without wearing mask I'm really addicted to this face mask after since covid. I really want to go outside freely without any fear but I can't, even I had tried once to go outside without wearing it but I couldn't my face my whole body started to act abnormal I was so much anxious I can't even look at people's faces and I ran speedy toward my home and cried so badly why I have became so weak so weird. Before I was not used to these mask things I'm really frustrated I don't know what to do how to fix it. I'm really depressed and sometimes I feel like it's better to die

I want therapy sessions ... Can you provide therapy sessions or its free or payable plz let me know

I want a lot of things all the time. And because of that, I think I have a lot of problems. For example, I want to change my job to a better one. That's a problem. I have to write a lot of resumes, go to interviews and do a lot of "tasks". And clever managers slip you those tasks that they told you to do in a week or a month.

For example, one company sent me their statistics for 15 years for me to summarize them using Excel. It's not difficult, but it's clear that I'm doing someone else's work for someone else, and for free, with no guarantee of employment.

Another company required me to write letters to China in Chinese. It is doable, but again it adds problems in addition to the main job.

In general, my desires, give birth to a huge amount of busyness and problems. It's been really torturing me, making me depressed. Give up my career plans? And work in peace, sleep, rest.

I decided that without finding a resource, I couldn't go any further. New plans are problems. That stuck in my mind.

The feeling of trouble was associated with a stone around my neck.

When I feel bad, I go to my mother's grave. There I calm down, and I feel good. When I was silent, sitting near my mother's portrait, a memory from my childhood came to my mind: "If you don't know how to do something, you will learn, new skills - new plans. A flash in my head reformatted the phrase "new plans - new me, self-development". It turns out, new problems, not problems, but plans. I was relieved.

Ever since college, the fear of death and the meaninglessness of my own existence have been one of the main sources of my depression. I remember the first time I experienced what I now know to be a panic attack. It was during a philosophy class in college, where we were discussing the concept of mortality and the absurdity of human existence. Suddenly, my heart began to race, my palms grew clammy, and I couldn’t stop imagining my own death. Since then these panic attacks have become a regular occurrence in my life, striking without warning. I try to push such thoughts away, but they always come back. When I think that my life will end one day, I want to cry. I often wonder how others can be so positive about their existence. What’s your secret? Do you simply ignore the existential questions that plague me? How can I make it easier for me? I really need to find ways to get over this, cause I’m tired of being afraid.