I am now writing this at 2:50 a.m because it's giving me a high wave of anxiety now.
So , I have a friend , to whom I am studying with since 1 year , almost its gonna be year and he is really nice with his actions, cares too much for me , always there to help me , but u know I don't like the way he cares for me , I know I am sounding bad with this , but u all know me , I am the girl who has always wrote about social anxieties here, how I am suffering this , have gone through various situations , and I am so anti-social and he is exact opposite, socially active , but this is not the reason I don't like him , he is very socially active , doesn't scared of any situation. Our whole class is his friend.
The reason for which I don't like him is he is very annoying, he don't let me alone , always gets with me wherever I am going even if I told to not to come with me and his friends just watches him and me everytime, if I go to library then he will be there too , if I am going to lab then he also get some excuses to go with me.
The way he cares for me seems like too much than friendship. Although he always said that he doesn't wants my attention, affection. He gave chocolates , drinks , gifts to me.
And my prof, my class teacher also complained my mother , that I don't talk to anyone but him , but it's not like that. He also drops and sees me till I pass the road there , this is very awkward for a girl like me .
I have told this and explain him once that I could not roam with him outside but he just got rude at me that time and started doing that again. I am too feeling so bad spoking like this about him because he have helped me a lot that no one can do it to me but this is what I feel. I feel like I would be rather live alone than to be with him.
I was ignoring him from the starting of this month , not message him , not aksed how exams are going and he then told me on WhatsApp that I got so busy in exams that I have not message him , I then made some excuse but then he replied rudely to me that do your study.
Now again he has message me that what I am doing , I thought I will reply him tomorrow but now he has deleted the message. And I am really scared of this. I am behaving like so mean to him.
What if he told this to someone , already there are no friends for me here.I have to study with him more two years, day after tomorrow our vivas will be starting, how I am gonna face him now. What shall I do ? I am not gonna tell him my situation because he will never understand it.
