Hey, no need to beat yourself up about it! Everyone has bad days and there's nothing to be ashamed about. If you don't feel comfortable sharing the truth about your problems with anxiety with your classmates, it's okay to say you were feeling sick or overslept. You don't have to explain anything to anyone and in fact I'm sure they've all forgotten about it by now
@Julia I do agree with that!! You don't have to tell them the truth, if you're not ready, that't totally normal. Please don't rush to conclusions. no one thinks badly of you just because of this. It's your anxiety talking, that's not real, though I understand how anxiety can be convincing
I remember feeling exactly the same way when I was your age. Social anxiety is such a difficult thing to deal with, especially when you're trying to navigate college life. Try to be honest with your classmates. Most people are more understanding than we give them credit for. You could send them a message explaining that you've been struggling with anxiety and apologize for not communicating earlier
This one incident doesn't define you. You're so much more than your anxiety or this presentation. Try to be kind to yourself. How about trying to list three things you're proud of yourself for, no matter how small they might seem?
We all mess up from time ti time. The key is what you do next. Don't wallow in self-pity. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and face the reality. Your classmates will l get over it. Your group members will move on. But you? You need to learn from this. Next time, communicate. Even if it's just a text saying you're struggling. People can be surprisingly understanding if you give them a chance. And pleaase stop worrying about what others think. Focus on what you think of yourself. Are you doing your best? Are you trying to improve? That's what matters. Now, go apologize to your group, explain yourself to your professor, and start working on managing that anxiety
First, I want to acknowledge your feelings - it's okay to feel overwhelmed and scared. These emotions are valid, but they don't define you. Now, let's think about practical steps you can take. Reaching out to your group members and explaining the situation could be a good start. It's also worth considering talking to your professor about your anxiety. Colleges do have support systems in place for students dealing with mental health issues. They might be able to offer accommodations or extra support for presentations
In terms of managing your anxiety, have you tried any relaxation techniques? Deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation helped me a lot
Try to reframe your thoughts. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, try to think about what could go right. Positive self-talk can make a big differenceYou should start today, don't What's one small goal you could set for yourself this week to start addressing your anxiety?
As a teacher, I want you to know that I understand how you're feeling right now. Presentations can be really scary, and it's okay to feel nervous about them. I've been there too. I want you to take a deep breath. It's going to be alright. Your classmates and group members aren't going to judge you as harshly as you think. Most of them are probably nervous about their own presentations too
Everyone makes mistakes and has bad days. You're not alone. Many students struggle with anxiety, especially when it comes to public speaking
I know you're worried about what your classmates will think, but try to focus on yourself instead. You're doing your best, and that's what matters most. Your worth isn't determined by how well you do in a presentation
This presentation is just a small part of your life. It's not the end of the world
Don't be too hard on yourself. Learning to manage anxiety takes time, and you're already taking a big step by recognizing how you feel and wanting to do something about it
Try to focus on the things you can control. Maybe you can practice your part of the presentation in front of a mirror or a friend. Being prepared can help you feel more confident
It's okay to make mistakes. In fact, making mistakes is how we learn and grow. Try to see this as a learning experience rather than a failure
Remember, your classmates are your peers, not your judges. They're probably more focused on their own work than on judging yours
It's okay to feel scared, but don't let that stop you from trying
Believe in yourself, because I certainly believe in you! 💖
@Carol Garza thank you so much for your kind words. it's really comforting to hear from a teacher who understands what it's like to deal with anxiety. i wish i had teachers like you when i was in school. where i'm from, most teachers don't really get it and even make things worse. they'd often call on me in class even when they knew i was struggling, which only made my anxiety worse. it's so refreshing to see a teacher who actually cares about students' mental health. your students are really lucky to have you. i bet you make such a positive difference in their lives
@Carol Garza i'm honestly amazed by your approach to teaching. soooo refreshing to hear about a teacher who really goes the extra mile to support their students. the idea of giving options for presentations is brilliant i wish that had been available when i was in school. it would have made such a difference to my anxiety levels. i remember dreading presentation days for weeks in advance and it often affected my performance in other subjects too. your students are so lucky to have you. i bet they feel so much more confident and supported in your class. your words really touched me. for so long, i felt like my struggles weren't valid or important. it's so nice to feel heard and understood
@Carol Garza carol, i can't express how much your words mean to me. it's like you're healing a part of my past that i thought would always be painful. hearing about the different options you give your students brings tears to my eyes - happy tears! the idea of being able to present to just the teacher or make a video would have been a game-changer for me. it's not about avoiding the challenge altogether, but about finding ways to face it that don't feel completely overwhelming. so many people, including some of my old teachers, treated it like it was just shyness or laziness. but it's a real struggle that affects every aspect of life. thank you for validating that
@rebeccahammond.4 thank you so much for your heartfelt response. It truly means a lot to me to hear that my words resonated with you
I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences with teachers who didn't understand your struggles. It's unfortunate that many educators still lack the training and sensitivity to deal with students' mental health issues. I believe it's crucial for all teachers to create a safe and supportive environment for their students. In my classroom, I always try to be mindful of each student's individual needs and challenges
I've found that simple things like giving students the option to present in smaller groups or allowing them to record their presentations can make a huge difference. It's all about finding what works best for each student. I wish I could have been there to support you during your school years, but I hope you know that your experiences and your voice matter 🗣💖
@rebeccahammond.4 your words truly warm my heart. I'm so glad that my approach resonates with you. You know, it's students like you who inspire me to keep improving and finding new ways to support everyone in my classroom
I've seen that same fear in so many of my students' eyes. It's why I'm always trying to find alternative ways for students to demonstrate their knowledge and skills. Sometimes, it's as simple as allowing a student to present to just me instead of the whole class, or letting them create a video presentation. Every small step counts
I want you to know that your struggles were absolutely valid and important. Anxiety is a real challenge that many people face, and it's not something you just "get over". I'm so sorry that you didn't feel heard or supported during your school years
It's not the end of the world. Everyone messes up sometimes. Just explain to your group what happened, say sorry and move on. They'll get over it. And next time, try to push through even if you're scared. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Trust me, I used to be scared of talking to people too, but now I can chat with anyone. You got this!
@christophe I agree. Try not to assume the worst. Most people are more focused on their own performance than judging others. Take some deep breaths, practice some self-care, and remember that you're more than capable of overcoming this obstacle. You've made it this far in your engineering program, which is no small feat! Be proud of yourself for that. Hang in there, and remember that this feeling is temporary. You've got a bright future ahead of you!
i totally get where you're coming from. i've been dealing with something similar since i started college. it's been really tough being away from home and trying to adjust to this new environment i can't seem to shake off this constant feeling of anxiety. i miss my family and friends back home so much. it's like there's this huge hole in my life that i can't fill. i keep thinking about all the familiar things i left behind, my room, my favorite spots in town, even the little routines i used to have. now everything feels strange and uncomfortable. the worst part is, i can't seem to connect with anyone here. i see other students laughing and making friends, but i'm alone. when i try to talk to people, my mind goes blank and i get all nervous
i'm scared that if things don't get better soon, i might have to drop out. but then what? i'd be letting everyone down, including myself. i just don't know what to do anymore. it feels like i'm drowning and i can't find my way to the surface.
how do you think your group members might react if you explained your situation to them? do you think there's a chance they might be more understanding than you expect?
@cgriffith.1971 Yep, it's almost lke everyone else got the manual on how to be a functional college student, and I'm just fumbling around in the dark. Every day feels like a battle just to get out of bed and face the world. The thought of going to class makes me sick and, OP, don't even get me started on group projects. I can't shake this feeling that I'm not cut out for this, that I'm just pretending to be smart somehow and soon everyone will figure out I'm a fraud
@cgriffith.1971 Thsnks! Definitely will check it out. The more anxious I get, the worse I perform, and the worse I perform, the more anxious I get. I've started skipping meals because the thought of going to the crowded cafeteria is just too much to handle. I spend most of my time in my dorm, but even there I can't escape this feeling of dread. I've thought about reaching out to my family, but I don't want to worry them or make them think I can't handle being on my own. Plus, I'm afraid if I start talking about how I'm really feeling, I might break down completely
@cgriffith.1971 That invisible wall... I feel that so much. It's like I'm watching life happen around me, but I can't participate. I see groups of students together, and I want so badly to be a part of that, but I just don't know how. I spend hours replaying embarrassing moments in my head, cringing sooo hard at myself. I've started avoiding social situations altogether, which I know isn't helping, but I just can't bear the anxiety anymore
@Amelia yes, i made a post about it recently, you can check it out if you'r interested 😔 i wonder if i made a huge mistake coming here. i keep thinking about how easy things were back home, how i never had to worry about making new friends or figuring out how to navigate a whole new social landscape. now i'm constantly second-guessing myself, wondering if i said the right thing or if people are judging me. it's exhausting, and it's making it hard to focus on my studies. i'm falling behind in my classes, which only adds to my anxiety
@Amelia the worst part is, i see other students who seem to be thriving here. they're joining clubs, making friends, acing their classes. and here i am, barely able to make it through the day without crying (or wait..i can't!). i keep wondering what's wrong with me, why i can't just be normal like everyone else. there's this invisible wall between me and the rest of the world nd i don't know how to break through it
A simple explanation can go a long way. Don't be too hard on yourself, everyone faces challenges, and most people understand that. Take care of yourself. What do you think would be the most helpful form of support for you right now?
Dear, please be kinder to yourself. I know this situation feels overwhelming right now, but I want you to take a deep breath and try to look at it from a different perspective.
Your classmates have likely already forgotten about this incident. We humans are inherently self-centered creatures, preoccupied with our own thoughts rather than dwelling on others. Your absence is probably not at the forefront of anyone's mind anymore
You're being incredibly hard on yourself. The scenarios you're imagining - of being laughed at, excluded, or judged - are products of your anxiety, not reality
If you're not ready to disclose your struggles with anxiety to your classmates, that's perfectly okay. Your mental health and personal challenges are your own to share when and if you feel comfortable doing so. In the meantime, it's absolutely acceptable to provide a simpler explanation for your absence. You could say you were dealing with a personal emergency, had a family obligation or even that you were feeling unwell. Protecting your peace and mental wellbeing is important
You are so much more than this one moment in time, honey. Your anxiety does not define you - it's something you're dealing with, but it's not who you are. Please consider seeking support for your anxiety. Whether it's talking to a friend, family member, or a professional, having support can make a world of difference. You don't have to face this alone. You are strong, capable, and worthy of kindness, especially from yourself ‼️ This moment will pass, brighter days are ahead.
Nervousness before speech or presentations is norml. Everyone feels little nervous before giving a speech even professionals do feel nervous. Public speaking is an art and needs to be practised. not everyone is gifted with it. Accept that you will always feel little anxious about giving a speech. It's normal and common to feel this way.
There are few strategies or techniques you can adopt to help you gain confidence:
# why do you feel anxious while presenting?
# what has happened in the childhood which makes you unconfident? is it because of fear of being judged by people, worry no one will like you or you feel you may speak something not appropriate or you feel you have nothing to talk about or you may say something wrong . you need to first find out the cause of this uncomfortableness.
This will help you address the social phobia in better way. only if you know the root cause we can work on addressing it. so next time you feel like that just come back home and write down what all you feel, why you feel. notice your irrational thoughts about people like you may feel uncomfortable as you feel people will not like you. now people liking you or not is irrational as there is no valid proof or logic behind it. You should also next time observe how are you feeling when you are in front of crowd and what thoughts arise in your head. now start writing down those and find a practical solution for it. Like thought could be that people may find some mistake in my talk and may think i am fool or they may think i am not worth this role?if you have such negative thinking you need to first understand why do you feel like that? has anyone made you feel like that? is it really the truth or you are assuming and making yourself feel so nervous. Then stop and become aware of your thoughts and let go these thoughts. don't give much weightage to such assumptions.
Thoughts like i am centre of attention so what if you are? what is scaring you if you are the centre of attention? dig deeper.
Look into the mirror and practice your speech several times. Practise in front of your friends or relatives or your core team members. Ask them suggestion and feedback to improve your presentation. practising it will help you to memorise your main points and avoid relying too much on notes or slides. Try to practise at least in front of 5-6 know crowd. This will help you to face the crowd.
if it's a speech or if you just have to talk go slow and take time to breathe in and breathe out. This will keep you calm.
write down everyday a positive affirmation " i am a confident speaker" or "i have prepared well for this project presentation" or "I can do this". See which affirmation works for you and say it everyday looking in the mirror. Write it down at least 10 times till it sets in your subconscious mind. Every time you feel nervous repeat this affirmations.
Start making videos of yourself talking about this presentation and put it in social media apps. Just put little bit gist of it.See the response. This will boost your confidence as well. If you don't want to put it in social media then just record for yourself .Even if you stumble in between don't stop the recording. later on listen to it, watch it and see how you can make it better.
Research on who the audience will be. be prepared to face them. Visualise everyday those people sitting in the hall and you presenting your project before them. Remember there will always be someone who is bored or will yawn. Don't get panicked seeing such cues. Focus on conveying the message instead of what you think people or team members will be thinking while you are giving the presentation.