Hey everyone, I'm really in need of some advice. I've been with my husband for 8 years, 5 years of marriage and 3 years living together before that. We have a wonderful 6-year-old boy who just started first grade this year.
I've been feeling on edge for the past 2 years. My husband and I can't seem to understand each other. Our life goals are different, we don't agree on how to raise our son or manage the household. His jealousy has become unbearable, directed towards everyone (our friends, my colleagues, even our son)
I guess it all started after I gave birth. I fully focused on motherhood and other aspects of our relationship, especially the intimate part, didn't get much attention. This created a lot of tension between us. We've both said and done things we're not proud of.
His treatment towards me, as a woman, just doesn't sit right with me. I want to be cherished, admired. But all I hear from him are constant reproaches. It's gotten to the point where he perceives every little thing I do as betrayal. A phone call with a colleague, chatting with friends, self-care routines, new clothes, perfume, even a simple smile - all are seen as signs of infidelity. If I go to a party, he automatically assumes I'm cheating. I won't deny that I attract attention from men, but most of the time, it's just polite small talk.
This constant distrust has left me exhausted. The conflicts escalated so much that winter, our son actually asked me to leave because he couldn't bear to see us argue or me cry anymore. I've been living with my father. My son is much happier now, we've even transferred him to another school which he really likes.
I was ready to file for divorce, but then some of our mutual friends started persuading me to reconsider. They keep saying my husband loves me in his own way and that I should be patient and understanding of his complex character. They said he's already realized his mistakes and is willing to change. They believe that divorce should be the last resort.
Right now, I'm at a loss. While I agree that a complete family is better for our child, I also believe that a constantly fighting environment is not healthy either. So, what do I do?
