I honestly don't understand why you haven't filed for a divorce yet. You seem to be stuck in a cycle of emotional distress that's not doing you or your son any good. I can perceive from your words the pain and exhaustion you're going through. It's clear to me that your husband's jealousy and distrust are causing you immense stress AND pain. It's not healthy to be constantly on edge, questioning every action out of fear of how it might be interpreted. It's also unfair for his friends to FORCE you to tolerate this behaviour. They are not in your shoes, living through the anxiety and hurt that HE put you in. You need to prioritize your wellbeing and that of your child. So, I advise you to say goodbye to him and his friends who think that you have to put up with this.
It really sounds like you're in a tough spot right now. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be for you. I don't think any of us here can give you a definitive answer or tell you exactly what you should do. That's a decision that you're going to have to make on your own
It's clear that you're a strong, thoughtful person who wants the best for your family. It's a tricky situation, for sure. Maybe it could help if you try to write down a list of pros and cons about staying in the relationship versus leaving. I find that sometimes when Iโm dealing with a difficult decision, seeing everything laid out on paper can really help me get a new perspective
I can understand your dilemma. It's evident from your words that the happiness and comfort of your son are major in your mind. This is a difficult situation thatโs f sure. Have you given thought to seeking out some form of professional guidance? It could be a marriage counselor or a therapist. It can be really beneficial to have a neutral third party who can facilitate communication and understanding.
These professionals have the training and expertise to help navigate these tough emotional waters. They can provide tools and strategies to help both of you improve your communication, understand each other's perspectives + work through the issues causing conflict. They can also provide a safe space to express feelings and concerns that might be difficult to talk about. This might be a way to find some clarity in this situation, who knows?
from what you've shared, it's evident that you've already made numerous attempts to mend the situation. it's crystal clear that you' ve put in significant effort, explored multiple ways to make the situation better and have genuinely sought to improve the dynamics of your relationship. the reality tho is that no one else can make this decision for you
remember, it's essential to recognize that you are deserving of respect, consideration and happiness in your life. you have every right to feel cherished, to be treated with kindness and to experience joy in your everyday life. don't ever forget that your happiness matters as much as anyone else's
good luck w everything! hope youโll find a way out as sooner as possible!
@๐ ๐๐ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ ๐ฆ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ ๐ If only that could be that easy. I understand where you're coming from and I appreciate your advice. It's true that our relationship has been causing me a lot of stress and anxiety. But it's not as simple as just leaving. There are many factors to consider. Our son is one of them. Despite everything, he needs fatherly figure in his life. And then, there's the fear of the unknown. What will life be like after divorce? How will I manage everything on my own? It's these questions and fears that are holding me back. But I am aware that I can't continue living like this. Something needs to change, I just don't know what that is yet
@khayes892 I appreciate your suggestion and, in fact, I did try to seek professional help. A friend of mine recommended a therapist who she thought could help us. I was hopeful and thought it might be the solution we needed. However, when I proposed this to my husband, his reaction was very negative (to say the least). He used derogatory term (he said funny farmer or something of that kind) to describe the therapist weโve been recommended. His reaction was disgusting and it made me feel even more isolated in all of this mess. It felt like he was refusing to take the problems in our relationship seriously or acknowledge his part in them
@xoxo You're right, it's really difficult. I appreciate your advice and I think writing down a list of pros and cons is a good idea. It's something I haven't tried before, so it might provide a new viewpoint. Maybe seeing everything visually will help me to clear my mind and evaluate the situation more objectively. It's definitely been tough but hearing from others who are supportive really helps. Thanks again for the suggestion, I will definitely give it a shot
@iโm here Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. It's reassuring to hear that my feelings and efforts are being acknowledged. You're right, this is my decision to make and I need to prioritize my happiness and well-being of my son. I appreciate your support, it means a lot during this difficult time
@askingforhelp I know, it's not easy. It's one of the toughest decisions one can make. But remember, you are worthy of so much more than that. You deserve respect, trust, and understanding in a relationship, not constant suspicion and accusation. Like, girl, you can find another man! You deserve to feel loved and cherished, not belittled and dismissed. And your son deserves to grow up in a peaceful and loving environment, not one filled with fights over NOTHING. So, whatever decision you make, ensure it's for the best for both of you.
Hi,
The emotions you are going through are complex. It is difficult to take a decision as on one side you want your son to have complete family and on the other end you are going through emotional burn out. It is stressful.It is important you think through this, take clear and unemotional decision and most important do it independently without considering other's opinion. It is you who has to live life with him or without him so make decision comparing the advantages, disadvantages.
You also need to hear yourself. Do you still have strong feelings for him? be honest and answer it, Due to ongoing dynamics in the relationship there is lack of intimacy and closeness. If you still have strong feelings then best it is to think through this as your feelings of loss will overwhelm you. You may find yourself in the worst mood than you are now.
Arguments can be unhealthy and repetitive. It is hard to know how to break out of this pattern. Talk to your partner and ask him what is the reason he doesn't want counselling. It could be he is not comfortable to share with a stranger all the details about marriage, he could be scared for something else. Try finding out the real reason. Ask him does he have any other solution to talk and reach a collaborative decision for the marriage. If he still persists for no counseling then see if you can try couple's workshop or just do certain activities together every week to see if things can work better with you both.
Getting help for yourself is also important and effective way even when you think partner is the one creating problems in the relationship. You can talk to a counsellor who can guide you through various techniques to empower yourself. Empowering you would give you strength to make a decision which you will never regret.