Hi. I am a 22 year old depressed girl hoping to find some help here. 3 years back I was doing a couple of neck and jaw exercises. Something went wrong there and as a result I developed breathing problems, muscle problems and swallowing difficulties. I told my parents about my symptoms without telling them the cause of the onset [which I think are the exercises]. I've veen to a couple of doctors and I don't have the courage to tell then what happened. I just tell them about my symptoms and they say I have GAD. Even my mother, who should act as a support system for me, continuously breaks my soul by saying it's nothing and all of this is in my head. I was the perfect ideal girl but now I've grown thin and weak with bones sticking to my body. Everyone just comments on how thin I've become but doesn't look into why this is happening. Everyday I muster up the courage to get me through the day as my condition prevents me from doing any kind of work be it standing or sitting for long periods, leave physical exertion alone. I have no one to talk to and I cry everyday. I feel like my body is giving up on me and I won't be able to hold on anymore.

I'm pretty sure that you can't find a wife by specifically engaging in "selection" as experts advise. I didn't get married for a long time. I didn't see any worthy women. And I was busy with my career, business. I wasn't lonely, not ugly, I found and lost mistresses. My mom tormented me with requests for a grandchild, my dad with requests to settle down and become a family man. I didn't see a suitable girl around. And I didn't want to marry just anyone. All the correspondence on the Internet led to nothing, so you could only find boredom or entertainment. My friends told me that I was a perfectionist and showed me an example: "I'm already married, and we have children". I felt like they were "outmaneuvering" me. I thought a lot about why this was happening. I even went to a psychologist, a woman by the way. After talking for 1 hour, I realized that everything was normal with me, but why my wife was not there was unclear. I went to a coach, and heard that it is necessary to "remove internal barriers" and imagine that it is already there. I thought, how can I imagine that I already have a wife? Start being afraid of coming home on time? Give all the money to the nightstand by the bed? Come home and start yelling "where's dinner?" and not finding it, get offended. And go to see his real lover, Liusa. My mother obliged me to go to another psychologist, after which the situation became even more confused. I heard a lot of unnecessary information that I "repeat the scenario of my ancestors", have "complexes", "it is necessary to make an image of my beloved", and it is necessary to come to her 50 times and then everything will be fine. Finally tortured by human stupidity, I decided to go to a fortune teller, why, I do not understand at all. The fortune teller laid out the cards, and briefly said "you will soon meet your destiny...". I rejoiced and asked: "where?" The fortune-teller replied: "She is already walking around". I was intrigued and the next day I started looking around to see where she was. I walked, thinking, towards the office. And I felt a car splashing me hard as it drove by. I was indignant, saw that it was a car from the parking lot of our company and got mad. A girl ran out of the car and started to wipe me off and apologize. She surprised me and pissed me off at once, and I liked her looks very much. It turned out she worked in the neighboring department, but I, thinking, always went by....That's how I got married. I believe that psychologists are not able to help in this, it should happen by itself.  

I am in the process of overcoming depression, but I am having to deal with the consequences of all the bad and wrong decisions I made while being on a very high anxiety and depressive state. Because of that i am constantly fighting guilt and I feel it is making me worse and worse. Everything I did in the past and how it is affecting me now, is affecting my relationships. I don't know what to do. I feel hopeless and so tired of this. I try everyday my best to be ok, to not be the problem anymore but it doesn't go out like that, most of the time I get perceived as selfish, selfcentered and like I lack empathy and coward for not even trying to deal with the situation. I get so easilly overwhelmed and before trying to deal with it, I am so worried that it might be perceived as selfishness and victimism, so I try to hide, I try to stay away so I am not a problem to my family, but that sets me out of other things like being there during hard situations. When something bad is happening the only thing I can do is hide so i don't get in the way and it is so frustrating and exhausting. And of course my famly, my mother-in-law treats me well but behind my back is talking shit about me, I heard her talking to my boyfriend saying I am false and I play the victim and things like that. And specially my boyfriend, he is so hard at me, he asks a lot and I don't think I have the emotional resources to be wht he needs and I know i don't get to know even half of what he is dealing with because of me. This is killing me, it is exhausting, i can't even go away and give myself sometime to get myself together, I don't have anyone to talk to and I don't have anywhere else to go. I am constantly asking myself if I am narcisistic or something like that and that's why all this is happening.

I can’t believe this is happening to me! I’ve applied for an internship at a big tech company, and prepared for two weeks! Researched everything about them, had my answers for most typical questions. And I blew it all up today! I knew I’d be nervous, so I spoke to my friend on the phone all the way to the conference room. I thought I’d be interviewed by the girl who was inviting me in, she looked only a little older than me, and I thought it wouldn’t be that bad? So silly of me! 😔 There were two men, super laid-back and friendly, why did I panic?? I knew I was losing it on my first question, my voice was shaky, and I wasn’t making any sense. I wished to sink through the floor and stop making a fool of myself! They offered me a glass of water, and it was so embarrassing. I know they saw I was losing my wits. I just gave up and didn’t make any efforts to answer further questions properly. I wanted to be out ASAP.

This, after I passed the first selection round - I know that few young men do. I won’t get another such opportunity in my life. I’ve never had panic attacks before! I’ve been extremely nervous during exam periods and when getting my license. But it didn’t stop me from achieving some results. What if it happens again?