I’m supposed to be the good one, but to hell with it! I hate my sister. I wish I could never see her again. My parents will always side with her, NO MATTER how hard I try to prove them that they’re delusional about her. She has just screamed at me for losing her car keys, while she’s been having them all along. And dad blamed me for being reckless. The keys were found, and I’m not getting an apology!

I’m 5 years older, and it’s always been do this and do that for me, while my little pampered sissy sat on her ass and ratted me out all the time. She always makes everything to be my fault, and parents NEVER question it, never even doubted their little princess. I’m always the troublemaker, and she’s a fucking saint. She was allowed to enjoy her childhood while I had two part-time jobs in high school, and yet I was the irresponsible one! My parents bought her a new car on her 17th birthday, while I’m still paying off my car loan with the help of my boyfriend. Dad pays all my sister’s bills up to this day, even though she is of age. I wouldn’t even dream to ask for money, I think it’s shameful. And they’re paying for her college – the one she chose, to become a bloody doctor. I was never given a chance to choose what I wanted. I can’t stand living in one house with her and seeing her fat face every day. I’m counting the days till February 2nd when I’ll be moving out to an apartment with my bf. Even though she knows I’ll be leaving soon, she still tries to make my life miserable. She takes my things all the time, without permission, and “forgets” to return them. She copycats all my ideas. I wanted to buy parents a new robot vacuum cleaner since their old one is dead. I suggested we buy it together and split the cost. She said she had other things in mind. The day before Christmas, she told me she hadn’t bought anything and begged me to give the vc from us both. In the end, she made it look like it was her idea and her gift! I’m done being honest with her! She uses everything I say against me and lies to people about me. She told my boyfriend I was childfree when he was at our house last month. He also said she was flirting with him behind my back. She always tried to do this with my friends at school too sucking up to them, then telling stories about me… She doesn’t even realize that other people see right through her lies. Not everyone is as blind as my parents! I suppose they’ll always let her have her way. But I’m done. I hope she never changes and keeps being her narcissistic little self, and no one will love her, except my parents. She deserves to be alone and suffering!

Where do I even begin..

For years I wondered why am I so different,only to find out on my own during a tiktok that hey you might have ADHD combined..I come from a strict religious family where mental health is looked down upon,that if you suffering with anything pray and it will go away.but it's not at a point where that isn't enough.im stuck in a house of toxicity where I'm beginning to feel more and more overwhelmed.at first I just thought it's my personality,until it started spilling into my personal life,that I've been unemployed for so long as my ADHD seems to get worst and worst,I can't go to a doc to get diagnosed as I got helicopter parents and I'm a introvert.they will disown because they feel it is spirits and not a real problem.ive never felt so stuck in my entire life.im always the one they look to for all help,any problem they throw it on me,when I have issues I got no one, because I don't get heard.i get shunned away.that now it's got to a dangerous point.where it's bubbling ,all the emotions.i got no friends,not one,all the friends use me,and when I speak out and set boundaries they leave.i got no other fam, besides my immediate in which they only add and add to my plate.i struggle to find work as my ADHD is at a bad place.i haven't been diagnosed by a doc but I know 99 percent I got it.i can't organize to save my life,I struggle to focus,I can't sit still,I talk alot,I hyperfocus,I struggle to remember or pay attention to people talking or detail.i want out so bad..out of this house ..so I can be alone.just to think and feel and be me,I have no identity away from my parents.they always around,I got no rships in any form because they always in my life making decisions for me.when I try speak up about it,I get guilt tripped or get religious stuff thrown in my face.i am a very loveable and good hearted person but now it's at the point of my mental health,I have even through of suicide.because I feel cornered.i got nobody and nothing,I am very independent but can't find work because of this ADHD.i can't even be on medication because my parents don't believe in that,I tried other pain tabs,cannabis and nothing works.i just want to feel human,I feel like a robot instead,my brain never switches off,I struggle to sleep.i feel like I don't own my life..my parents are my life,I'm 27 and feel 10.they decide it all for me.ive never had people just be there for me in my life they always use me,or take advantage or better yet get close to me to spread gossip and my story to other people.i feel all alone...I'm tired of the arguments in my house,it's taking a toll on me,mentally even physically I've been getting sicker and sicker and they don't even see or shrug it off.im so confused,lost,depressed,in a bad space.i feel trapped in my room.waiting,but waiting for what? When I know no one's coming to my rescue..been currently unemployed I can't even buy stuff, everything is money,so that adds because now my parents pressure me.yet I'm at breaking point mentally,even if I had to start work I'd probably commit suicide or get fired after a day.. because my mental is at such a fragile place.idk how much more I can take till I break...I see others my age,get married,have boyfriends,go out on vacations,go to the mall and I hate myself more and more,I hate social media because it just reminds me of how bad I am in my situation.i never had a easy life,my childhood was worst.and I hate to be a victim or look for sympathy so I've bottled it in for years,and I guess this is the result of years of trauma.now I find comfort in been alone..I just want quiet and peace.but instead I get overwhelmed...I've never fitted in and I didn't have a problem with that when I was younger Until now,when I get shown other people's pics by my mom of what they doing etc.its the same routine everyday,monotonous.that many occasions I don't even want to wake up at all.i just need help or any direction..besides the one I'm in right now.

He called me 10 days ago after he had block me during 3 months when we supposed kind of be together even if there was not a compromise he told me that we were together we where friends and then when his mother died and because he was feeling with lots of emotions and very sad and difficulties he told me one day that he wanted to be alone and I was sad and I tried to contact him many times and he blocked me then he called me 10 days ago I was so happy and received his phone call and he told me he will invite me for a coffee whenever because he wanted we talk and that he had been going through strong situations and because I love him I was comprehensive and I told him of course then I have been waiting the invitation for the coffee 10 days ago !!!

I just text him like hello I look forward for our coffee and he reply the next day: Hi how are you, yes I will let you know and then... I answered okd with a happy face, then I texted him after 3 days : Hello I hope that you are well and that my messages don't overwhelm you, thank you for your kindness and for being a beautiful person and you know that you can count always on me, then he didn'answered and I feel so disappointed I feel like he is playing with me or maybe needs space and he will contact me when I stop contacting like he wants to make the next step and I need to not call him not text him so I decided to erase his number from my telephone but I think a lot about him I'm suffering because we live at the same town and it's a small town and I can see him maybe one day and I will love one explanation from him I need your help please I can't deal this by myself

Guys,

hey.. how are you..

dont tell me I KNOW ❤️‍🩹

isn’t this a safe place for all of us ? right

As long as we do not hide here, i used to think that yapping about my unhealed part would heal it, talking about the traumas will make them vanish..😓

but thats not it.

i love how this platform brought about a totally DIFFERENT perspective of life to me in like no time..🌸

everyday i read alot of untold stories written by so emotionally hurt people who may not have said it to anyone otherwise…😢

iits like could feel them, and at this time i realised my problems are not as big as theirs,

theres always a bigger picture to look at isn’t there?

♥️

i mean..

alot of you are not from where i am, totally different people from the globe oh man thats not a small place to live in..

and

i can relate to them?💞

this is nothing but realization of fact that we are not alone in this, we get most hurt when we feel that we r suffering Alone😓..

I want you guys to see the picture like i did, grow beyond your trauma , think beyond your anxiety

as i always say start from small, make this hour your happiest hour ,

a happy hour to a happy day😀

to a happy week😃

to a happy month 😄

&

TO A HAPPY LIFE 😁

we are together in this 🤝🏻💞