Don’t say that. Even if you hate your sister, don’t wish her harm. Leave her alone if that’s what you want. I was best friends with my sister, and now she’s gone. I’d give up all I have to get her back, even though she was unbearable and my parents' favorite too.
I relate so much. My sister is an addict who lives with my family and wastes all their money on meth. My mother supports my sister, while my father is too weak to admit his daughter is a monster. I stopped sending them money over it. Take it from me when I say your sister will pay for all her wrongdoing. Meanwhile, you can prosper and be happy on your own. Don’t let her get to you. Be the best version of yourself and know that you don’t need anyone’s validation, even from your family!
Based on what you shared, your parents are the ones to blame for your sister’s behavior. I’m not saying she is innocent, but your parents played a major role in making her the center of the universe. I don’t know why parents do this. It often happens with children of different sexes, when parents favor girls over boys or vice versa. Anyway, what’s done is done, you can’t change the past. You need to move forward with your life, and you're perfectly entitled to distance from your parents and your sister, if you feel like it. I hope it will comfort you that your parents will shortly see the error they’ve made. Your sister won’t be there to help them when they’re older. They didn’t teach her to care for others, and at her age, it’s too late to learn basic wisdom. So cheer up, you’re about to get rid of that burden soon enough, and who knows what positive change the future will bring!
Please consider counseling. This childhood trauma will bite you in the future. Your sister has obviously deeply hurt your feelings. You should take back her power over you and not allow her to keep fueling your hatred. Find a family therapist, do it for yourself and your own future kids.
Why do you try to prove something to your parents? I’d stop putting in any effort by now. They’ve made their choices, very foolishly from the looks of it. Favoritism is the road to hatred and confrontation between siblings, and I’m sorry to say it’s your parents who did it. I'm so grateful to be the only child... You didn’t deserve any of it. I’m glad to hear you’ll be moving out soon.
Your feelings are completely natural and valid. It’s probably best for you to focus on you and your future prospects. It’s sad that your mom and dad won’t support you. As an adult, you don’t have to keep in touch with any of them. I hope you find peace of mind and wholeness! 💚
@tabita123 I’m very sorry about your loss!
It’s different between me and my sister. We’ve never been friends, we’ve been rivals. My sister always abused the love my parents felt for her. She is nasty, spiteful, jealous of my success. She’s the worst hypocrite I’ve ever met. I don’t care if my sister is alive and well or not. She wouldn’t shed a tear if something happened to me.
@SingleManInVR Thanks for the reassurance! I’m both excited and a little scared to think that once I’ll move out, I won’t have to try to please anyone or to finally break through to my mother. My family relies on me for so many daily things, they don’t see it, but I hope they’ll notice once I’m gone.
But as long as my sister lives under their roof, I don’t believe I’ll be able to have a fulfilling relationship with my parents...
@Edward Honestly? I don’t know. I always hoped my parents would mature and would stop letting me down. Every time I get my hopes up that they’ll notice the difference in how my sister and I treat them, they disappoint me. I know it’s on me. They won’t change how they are, so wanting them to be different is my wishful thinking.
@somebody I’ll never put my children through anything like this. I’ve talked about therapy with my boyfriend, it’s an option for some distant future. We can’t afford it right now, as we’ll be renting in a very expensive district, and my boyfriend is not getting any financial help from his family either. It’s fitting that we both have grudges against our families. He is my dearest person, the only one who understands me and takes my side. I guess fate brought us together as compensation for all my bad luck.
Anger can be an natural response to being subject to ill treatment by both parents and your sister. Hate is an intense feeling which can be emotionally draining. it will keep making you feel negative about everything around you.
Right now when you are living with her even small things creates more contempt and hatred. so its best once you distance away just introspect about what is happening. See if its an irrational anger towards her. it could be wise to contemplate the source of your ill feelings. You need to look back in the past and assess whether your feelings resulted from your sibling's behaviour or how your parents treated you. do you feel you were better with each other in childhood or has rivalry always been an issue from childhood? do you have any pleasant feelings with your sibling? Do you hate your sister because your parents choose her over you? Do you hate her because she gets everything easily? how did your family life growing up impact your relationship with sibling? If your parents would have not favoured her then would you have been in good terms with your sister?
You need to even start journalling your answers. you need to answer these questions honestly and process your feelings. This will make you self aware from where the hate is coming. Do not judge your thoughts. write everything down as it comes to you. leave it for few days then come back with calm mind and read all your thoughts. Think them over. See do you still feel like that after being separate form her.
When you say you cant even dream of asking money. It's shameful. remember this is your choice to not ask, but your sister prefers asking. It's each one's outlook, choice of life. There is nothing wrong or right in this. It's just each ones individuality.
Start seeing yourself as an individual entity. Notice what is good and positive in you and do your best till you are here in this house.You cant change things from the past but atleast you can make your future good. For this its required to start seeing positivity. See as a person how growing up like this has made you independent ( you are paying for your own car, you don't ask money form your parents, got the experience of doing two part time job) , you still think for your parents like buying a vaccum cleaner even after whatever you have gone through, you are still doing it for them.
Now after analysing you still feel being in communication with them disturbs your mental health then maintain a distance for some time to help yourself. It's required for your physical and emotional well being to just take some time out.