I’m increasingly concerned about my 21-year-old stepdaughter who lives with us. Despite her age, she still has many childish tendencies, and most of her interests align with those of a much younger individual. She has a deep love for Disney movies and often spends hours watching them, which is something I would expect from a child, not a young grownup. She doesn’t have many friends and sits at home all days after college. She is quite capable of taking care of herself and doing small things around the house without being asked. But I must say she is rather immature. Her reaction to conflict or discomfort is often inappropriate for her age. Instead of engaging in a conversation about something she dislikes, she may throw a KitKat at me or show the middle finger, which is so infuriating!

Another issue is her emotional sensitivity. She gets upset over trivial matters and becomes angry very easily. It's incredibly challenging to have any kind of constructive dialogue with her because she takes everything personally. She’s been on medications for almost five years (maybe more, not sure) with official diagnoses of depression and social anxiety. Which only exacerbates all her tendencies. I mean, even the slightest bit of criticism or pressure can lead to her bursting into tears. My spouse and I are being very discreet around her, as any minor inconvenience or change can set off an emotional breakdown. She needs that my spouse be around her at home most of the time, she won’t even go shopping alone, presumably because she’s too anxious about it.

She has seen a therapist in the past, but I can’t say if it made any difference, my spouse was the one who chose the therapist and overlooked the process. I think they had some conflict, and my stepdaughter refused to continue. Don’t know the details. Anyhow, I worry that she hasn't been able to progress beyond these childish behaviors due to her mental health issues. I want to support her, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to do so when her responses are so disproportionate.

I'm concerned how it will impact her future. She needs to be able to handle life's challenges without our help (financial or emotional). I fear that she may be unsuccessful in relationships and work environments, if she continues like this. I need some guidance on how to help her change and thrive.

From the age of eight, I’ve constantly fantasised about going no contact with my immediate relatives the second I became an adult because they’re genuinely awful people. While having self awareness is a blessing, the unfortunate thing about possessing it at as a child was being able to recognise a lot of abuse I endured was unjust. What adds insult to injury is that when trying to speak up and defend myself, I was demonised and invalidated.

At the age of 14 I developed an interest in psychology and proactively began researching into various subjects. Upon recurring hospitalisations I was diagnosed with coexisting personality disorders among other things as a result of the trauma experienced and spent many years attempting to advocate for myself because I couldn’t trust relatives, the police or firemen to.

As an adult now I continue to research and educate myself on psychology. As a tool to educate myself and understand others. While I’m yet to go no contact with my narcissistic relatives, comprehending their behaviours makes tolerating their toxicity somewhat easier. With me being two almost three years into my recovery, they’ve amped up how much they’re attempting to self sabotage me.

I have a self care routine that’s imperative I’m given time to work through but every time I’m constantly disturbed. They understand it dysregulates and frustrates me yet it’s done repeatedly as a way to upset me. I exercise regularly at the gym and cut fast food because it’s a detriment to my health yet I’m continually being “encouraged” to cancel my gym membership and am tempted with restaurant food. Any and every time I speak up, respectfully or otherwise, I’m antagonised or told I’m “doing too much.”

I’ve been in therapy and actively researching long enough to understand the truth in the saying, “No one who truly loves themselves would feel the need to hurt or belittle others.” So recognising this, training myself to become non reactive has proven extremely beneficial. When I share these hardships with others, if I share these challenges with others, sometimes I’m met with invalidating statements such as, “That's your family” and that I’m supposed to be forgiving.

Forgiveness is optional, nobody is entitled to it. Doesn’t matter if they’ve changed and is doing better or if they’ve apologised and genuinely mean it. Someone being “family” or having blood relation doesn’t excuse their inappropriate or abusive behaviour. Living and being surrounded with bigoted people and narcissists is frustrating to say the least, but the more I learn, the easier it becomes for me to tune out the bullshit. I just can’t wait to go no contact so I can continue creating the life that’ll feel good for me.

From the age of 13 (now 20),I experienced deep seated insecurity and dissatisfaction with the shape and appearance of my nose and it greatly impacted my self-esteem and overall self-image.I embarked on extensive measures to camouflage what I perceived as an unsightly and repulsive nose. Notably, my naturally curly hair became a target of transformation – I painstakingly straightened it in pursuit of adhering to the prevailing standard that straight hair was more attractive. This became a part of my comprehensive strategy to create a curtain-like effect, hoping my hair could serve as a diversion from my nose. My choice to position myself at the back of the classroom was intentional, an attempt to evade angles that exposed the hump on my nose. Even when I laughed, my immediate instinct was to shield my face, concealing the widening of my nostrils – and this very habit persists to this day. Frequently, I'd return home burdened by an overwhelming sense of distress over my appearance.

My dad, in his attempt to console me, resorted to comparisons between my nose and those of accomplished individuals. He invoked examples like Marie Antoinette and Barbara Streisand, emphasizing that these notable figures embraced their unique looks and still achieved considerable success. However, these comparisons offered little consolation, failing to alleviate the deep-rooted insecurities that plagued me. My envy of individuals with straight or smaller noses remained unwavering, leading me to yearn for an entirely different nose. Unfortunately, these feelings of shame and discontent culminated in a series of challenging situations. Throughout my formative teenage years, I spiraled into a profound state of emotional darkness, primarily as a consequence of this issue. My fixation on my nose escalated to an unhealthy and all-consuming extreme. I amassed an extensive collection of nose-centric images, which included close-ups extracted from my friends' Instagram posts. Proficient in photo editing, I subjected my own pictures to intricate alterations, attempting to craft a more favorable version of myself. I also ventured into drastic measures, including massaging my nose until it bled. I distinctly recall attending school with a visibly swollen nose as a direct result of these actions. In my endeavor to divert attention from my face, I threw myself into excessive exercise regimens, dedicated hours to meticulously selecting outfits designed to overshadow my nose, and even toyed with the idea of bying an unconventional "nose lifter" device online.

 Advancing to the present, post my rhinoplasty last year, I find myself still grappling with a prevailing sense of dissatisfaction. While the surgical procedure effectively addressed the hump on my nose, an all-encompassing sentiment of discontent continues to plague me. My family's patience has worn thin, as they urge me to redirect my energy towards more meaningful pursuits. Reflecting on the period prior to the surgery, my fixation on my appearance dealt a significant blow to both my academic and personal growth. Countless opportunities were forsaken, including the realization of my long-held aspiration to attend medical school. I now acknowledge that societal beauty standards played a substantial role in amplifying these deeply ingrained insecurities.I'm intricately involved in the process of reshaping my self-perception. I've come to understand that the act of comparing myself to others is fundamentally disrespectful to my inherent worth. In those moments when negative comparisons arise, I gently remind myself of individuals grappling with challenges far more significant than appearance-related concerns. I'm steadfastly committed to fostering a profound sense of gratitude for the blessings that I possess, irrespective of society's prevailing norms. Rather than seeking validation externally, I'm gradually cultivating self-compassion, treating myself with the same kindness and understanding that I instinctively extend to my loved ones. To counteract the lingering negativity that occasionally resurfaces, I'm intentionally redirecting my focus towards my unique talents and passions. I'm channeling my energy into endeavors I excel at and genuinely relish. I've begun to comprehend that my appearance is just one fragment of my multidimensional identity. I'm currently navigating the journey of embracing what I possess instead of yearning for what I lack. Through practicing mindfulness and gratitude, I've found a means to genuinely appreciate my body and exist more fully in the present moment. While I do occasionally find myself drawn into moments of comparison, it's no longer an overwhelming and all-consuming compulsion. In essence, I've reached a point of comprehension wherein I understand that my appearance merely constitutes a facet of my overall identity. I'm actively engaged in nurturing my body through healthier choices, occasionally enhancing my features with makeup, and curating a wardrobe that resonates with my personal style, irrespective of external validation. While I haven't fully conquered all the challenges posed by my self-perception, I'm gradually and resolutely progressing towards a healthier understanding of myself and a heightened sense of contentment.

I was raped at 14 by the boyfriend of my elder sister. Add the unfortunate events that I feel just keeps on following me all my life. Like being in a car accident at 17 and losing my right eye so now I have a scar and an artificial eye.

And I have been suicidal Since ai was 15.

Almost succeeded on my try at the age of 26

Sought help at the age of 40 when I found out my ex husband was having an affair for 2 years.

It was one of the toughest as all that was running in my mind was ways to end my life and I started self harming so I decided to seek help because I was not able to control it anymore and I felt that I was gonna stop until I kill myself.

I medicated at that time

I stopped after a month because I was scared of how the meds made me feel

It made me numb

No feeling at all

No sympathy or empathy no sadness no nothing

It felt like i was a zombie that I'm alive but no feelings or emotions at all

After that ai think I have managed my depression and self harm thoughts

Now it's been a roller coaster ride since then.

There are good days and the worst days

The down days

I think only people who struggle with the same thing knows and understands this

The down days vary

Some down days are manageable but honestly some are just so freakin difficult to manage

And nobody understands

Which makes it more difficult to get through

Like it's never gonna end

And I just don't wanna wake up anymore

All I pray of is to not wake up anymore

I'm so tired

I just want life to stop

I feel so alone and isolated

The feeling that why do we even try to live when really it doesn't really matter to anyone

Why live

Why struggle

Why do waht you can with all your might if nobody really cares and it doesn't matter if ai live or die

What's the point