Post
da
dangledlife
241d ago

dealing with the down days

I was raped at 14 by the boyfriend of my elder sister. Add the unfortunate events that I feel just keeps on following me all my life. Like being in a car accident at 17 and losing my right eye so now I have a scar and an artificial eye.

And I have been suicidal Since ai was 15.

Almost succeeded on my try at the age of 26

Sought help at the age of 40 when I found out my ex husband was having an affair for 2 years.

It was one of the toughest as all that was running in my mind was ways to end my life and I started self harming so I decided to seek help because I was not able to control it anymore and I felt that I was gonna stop until I kill myself.


I medicated at that time

I stopped after a month because I was scared of how the meds made me feel

It made me numb

No feeling at all

No sympathy or empathy no sadness no nothing

It felt like i was a zombie that I'm alive but no feelings or emotions at all

After that ai think I have managed my depression and self harm thoughts

Now it's been a roller coaster ride since then.

There are good days and the worst days

The down days

I think only people who struggle with the same thing knows and understands this

The down days vary

Some down days are manageable but honestly some are just so freakin difficult to manage

And nobody understands

Which makes it more difficult to get through

Like it's never gonna end

And I just don't wanna wake up anymore

All I pray of is to not wake up anymore

I'm so tired

I just want life to stop

I feel so alone and isolated

The feeling that why do we even try to live when really it doesn't really matter to anyone

Why live

Why struggle

Why do waht you can with all your might if nobody really cares and it doesn't matter if ai live or die

What's the point

Specialist answer
Our free therapy courses to cope with depression
Veena Choudhary
233d
Specialist

Depression generally drain's down our energy, makes us feel fatigued most of the times and what you have gone through was quite a difficult phase with difficult emotions.

When you can't think of reason to keep going because of family issues, injustice happened to you then we only constantly question ourself is it worth living, or why struggle. when things go wrong we always see and feel negative and that is normal valid feelings. Depression also impacts a region of brain which deals with emotional responses and memory and that makes one prone to low emotions and that is why it is understandable that some days it cab be difficult to get through.


Now i want you to think through this: why is that your living should matter to others? why does your living not matter to you? when it doesn't matter to you how will you show that importance or reflect that to anyone. It is in our hands to make our living productive. it is on us to give meaning to it. people can only show what we want them to show. if you don't give importance to yourself then why will other's give. simple rule here is to live for yourself and everything else will fall in its place. ask yourself what will you do if you had no limitations in life and could do anything? may be your powerless back then at age of 14 but now you have the power to take back control over the circumstances and improve them? how will you do it?


Start opening up about the darkness you feel within you. journal all those thoughts. look at how can you make life better now. you have survived this long but now you have to survive with a power to control your life. process all those feelings and validate it. no one except you have the reins to control your life. step out just walk, distract your thoughts and start writing down 2 positive things you encounter everyday.


You cant stop medications all of sudden. you will have withdrawal symptoms which will make it worst. Generally medications initially make you feel like that and slowly your body get used to its effect but sometimes if medication still doesn't make you feel better then you need to tell your Psychiatrist to change and try another one. It's all about trail and error to see which works for you.


What you have gone through was not easy i agree but the way you put yourself together and fought for it by seeking help shows your reason for survival. accept that and don't fight against it.


Ju
Judy R.
240d

I can't say I've been through the same exact things, but I've had my share of tough times. When everything feels like it's piling up, it can be hard to see a way out. One thing that helps me is focusing on the present moment. When I'm spiraling, I try to ground myself by paying attention to my surroundings—what I can see, hear, smell, and touch. It's a way to anchor myself when my thoughts are all over the place. Life is unpredictable, and while it may seem like the bad days will never end, there are good days hidden in there too. Sometimes we just have to hold on tight and ride out the storm. You're not alone in this, even if it feels that way. Sending you lots of positive vibes. 🌻

𓂀
𓂀 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕 𓂀
240d

Your story is incredibly powerful, and I want to acknowledge the immense strength and resilience it takes to live through all of that and still continue fighting. Life has its ups and downs, and sometimes the downs seem never-ending, making it feel as though there is no end in sight. Despite these challenges, your ability to persevere and maintain hope is truly inspiring! I hope you find peace one day! Take care!

da
dangledlife
240d
Author

@𓂀 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕 𓂀 thank you, I ro hope to find peace or meaningful life

Be
Before_I
240d

hey there, just wanted to drop a note to say i hear you and i'm so sorry for everything you've been through. it's so hard to keep going when it feels like life keeps throwing obstacles in your way. sometimes it helps to break things down into the tiniest steps, like just getting out of bed or making a cup of tea. do you have any hobbies or activities that used to make you happy? maybe revisiting them could bring a bit of light to your days. and remember, it's okay to lean on others – friends, family, or even online communities like this one. you're not alone, even if it feels that way sometimes. take care of yourself, okay? 💜

da
dangledlife
240d
Author

@Before_I yes I workout at home as much as ai can, most times it does help but the tough days it just doesn't

I've added weight lately and this makes me not want to to out and see my friends or relatives as the first comment I hear is "oh what happened to you why are you so fat" so now I'm most inside my home and even if I go out, i to 5o the spa by myself

Be
Before_I
240d

@dangledlife it's really tough when even the things that usually help don't seem to make a difference on the hardest days. i've had those moments too where just leaving the house feels like an insurmountable task, and the comments from others don't help at all. i try to remind myself that people's opinions are just that..well—opinions, not facts about who we are or our worth. it's great that you work out at home. maybe there's a different kind of exercise or a new hobby that could bring some joy? sometimes mixing things up can help break the cycle a bit.

i'm here if you need to talk more. it sounds like you're doing your best, and that's really all any of us can do. 💜

Re
RealTalkRachel
240d

your story really touched me. it's so hard to keep going when it feels like life is just one big struggle. i know it's not much, but i want you to know that you are not alone. we are here for you and we care about you. sometimes, it helps to focus on the little things that bring you joy.. these small things can make a big difference. please know that you are not alone and that there is hope for a better tomorrow.

da
dangledlife
240d
Author

@RealTalkRachel thanks that means a lot

Si
Sierra
240d

I can't even begin to imagine the weight you're carrying. Life can be incredibly unfair, and it seems like you've been dealt a really tough hand. It's important to acknowledge that your feelings are entirely valid, and it's okay to feel the way you do. But remember, you're not defined by your struggles. You have a story that is uniquely yours, and it's still being written. What do you think keeps you going, even on the worst days?

la
larry
240d

Life has been incredibly tough on you, and it's okay to admit that you're struggling. But please, remember that you're not alone. There are people out there who care about you and want to help. What kind of support do you think would make a difference right now? Sometimes, just having someone to talk to can make a huge difference. You're stronger than you realize, and your journey is far from over. Keep holding on, and know that there is hope, even in the darkest times.

To
Tonya
240d

hey, i just wanna say that ur not alone. life can be really hard, and it's okay to feel like this. have u ever tried to find something that makes u happy, even if it's just for a moment? sometimes, little things can make a big difference. maybe a hobby or something u used to enjoy. it's okay to take it slow and just focus on one thing at a time. and remember, there are people who care about u and want to help. u don't have to go through this alone. 💖

Pa
Pain-OFF
240d

I don't have all the answers, but I do know that life can be incredibly challenging. The fact that you're still here, despite everything you've been through, speaks volumes about your strength and resilience. Do you ever find moments of peace, even if they're fleeting? Sometimes, those small moments can be enough to keep us going. It's important to remember that your feelings are valid, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. But also know that there are people out there who care about you and want to support you. You're not alone in this journey, and there is hope, even in the darkest times.

Jo
Joseph
240d

I'm genuinely moved by your courage to share everything. The pain you've experienced is profound, and it's understandable that you feel the way you do. Life has been incredibly unfair to you, but your strength in facing these challenges is truly remarkable. What kind of support do you think would make a difference for you right now? Sometimes, just having someone to listen can be a huge relief. Remember, it's okay to ask for help, and it's okay to take things one day at a time. You're not alone in this, and there are people who care about you deeply.

ab
abcd
240d

One thing that has helped me during my darkest times is finding a creative outlet. Whether it's painting, writing, or playing an instrument, expressing myself creatively has been a way to process my emotions and feel a sense of release. It doesn't have to be perfect or even good; it's just about letting your feelings out in a different form. Sometimes, creating something can be a way to find a bit of beauty in the chaos. Please know that your story matters, and you are not alone in this journey. Keep going, one step at a time.

te
terry
240d

@abcd i absolutely agree. finding a creative outlet like painting, writing, or playing an instrument can be incredibly healing and therapeutic. it provides a way to express emotions and process difficult feelings, offering a sense of release and emotional catharsis. the beauty of creativity is that it doesn't have to be perfect or even good. it's about the act of creation itself, and the process of letting your feelings out in a different form.

te
terry
238d

@abcd i couldn’t agree more. the sense of community and mutual understanding can be useful. i’ve found that sharing my own experiences and hearing from others has been a powerful way to heal. sometimes, it’s not even about finding solutions but about being heard and validated. when someone listens without judgment, it can make a world of difference. and it’s reciprocal; by being there for others, you often find strength and resilience within yourself. it’s amazing how shared experiences can foster empathy and support, making the journey less lonely and more manageable.

ab
abcd
238d

@terry Absolutely, Terry. Another aspect that has been incredibly beneficial for me is connecting with others who share similar interests or struggles. Sometimes, just knowing that someone else understands what you're going through can be incredibly comforting. It's important to remember that reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Building these connections can create a support network that helps you navigate through tough times.

ab
abcd
238d

@terry I've also found that setting small, achievable goals can help maintain a sense of purpose and progress. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you’re dealing with a lot, but breaking things down into manageable steps can make a huge difference. Even something as simple as making your bed in the morning or going for a short walk can create a sense of accomplishment.

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