Please I need your opinion. Never thought I would find myself in this situation. It started with my obsessive-compulsive disorder, constant intrusive thoughts and the need for control and order. But right before the new year, after a regular night of smoking weed with some friends, everything spiraled out of hand. I had a psychotic break, and now I'm being told that I might be developing schizophrenia.

The diagnosis terrifies me. I've always been aware of my OCD, but the idea of losing touch with reality is a whole other level of fear. I don't trust this new diagnosis, but the thought of it lingers in the back of my mind. I was prescribed two antipsychotics, not taking them for now...

A short description of how it felt, because I still think this could be drug induced. During my psychotic break, I was trapped in an altered reality that I didn't even realize was happening. Was like living in a distorted dream, where nothing made sense and everything felt threatening. I remember feeling like the world was closing in on me, and I couldn't escape. I became convinced that people outside on the street were watching me, plotting against me and my friends. The walls seemed to whisper secrets, and I couldn't shake the feeling that going outside was a threat to my life. Time lost all meaning, and I felt like I was stuck in an endless loop of running from the people outside. The lines between where I were and where those people were sort of blurred together, leaving me disoriented. I later found myself on the street with my hand bleeding, I’d broken my friend’s window throwing an empty bottle right through it. I’m lucky that no passersby or cars were harmed at such a late hour… We have cameras everywhere, I’d be in trouble. The worst part was that I didn't even realize how far gone I was. In my altered reality, everything seemed perfectly logical and connected. It wasn't until I came back to myself that I realized how distorted my thoughts had been. Doesn’t the fact that I realized it afterwards and didn’t deny anything prove that my mind came back to normal?

All people smoking weed sometimes have these visions and hear voices, right? I got stoned many times before, and it was usually like some funny mental puzzle, but never so vivid and distorted.

Now, faced with the possibility of developing schizophrenia (which I still don’t want to believe!), I can't help but wonder if that altered reality is waiting for me again. The fear of losing myself to a world of delusions and hallucinations drives me nuts. I cling to the hope that it was just a one-time episode.

Fuck, I wish I could go back to the days when my biggest struggle was managing my OCD. Now, this schizo specter hangs over me, and it’s just too much!

I am constantly thinking up rituals.... that will save me from something terrible...I realize with my mind that it will not help, but I do the rituals...It goes automatically...How would I get rid of it.... For example, when I start to feel anxious, I get compulsive hand tics. You can see it. And the anxiety gets less. I realize it has nothing to do with my anxiety decreasing, but the tics are there. And it doesn't look good on people. I have a habit of not stepping on cracks and manholes. When I see a coin lying on the ground, I have a fear that I will have a bad day. If I met a woman in the morning . it would also be a bad day...My nervous tics manifest themselves while driving...I get very nervous on the road...I even skinned my first steering wheel . Someone chews on my legs, and I rip off the steering wheel...It was in a foam cover, and I was at a stoplight, and I forged "holes" in it. something instead of a soft toy. My "ragged" steering wheel looked like an "experienced" steering wheel and made, oddly enough, a good impression on women. Because I had "scratched" the car many times, I polished it many times. and my car looked very good. Outside of the shen there is no way you could tell it was the car of someone who is afraid and doesn't know how to drive. Lately, I've developed a "wheel neurosis". I started to fear that my wheels would fall off when I was driving. And this is in my 8th year of driving experience. It's a very difficult condition for me because I'm really afraid of getting into an accident. I'd drive out and start listening. I'd hear a thump. And that's it, my neurosis begins. I had images of myself flying into an oncoming car, then a scone from the car...and I started pounding. So I went to a couple of repair shops. And there was done everything they could do to take money from me. But I heard a thump. I changed a bunch of parts that hold and spin the wheel. For a while I was feeling better. At home, I listened to wheel knocking on the internet for various faults (there is such a site), and searched for my wheel. I did not know that I had "musical hearing", I never sang or played musical instruments. At the mother's room, they took me for a fool at first. Then they respected me when they found a broken bearing (next to the tire). Then I decided to buy a perfectly new tire so it wouldn't "rustle". because mine was worn down unevenly. After that I had a nervous breakdown. I drove away from the workshop and heard a strong "rustling". I told my wife that the wheels had been badly put on, apparently. She said, "It's just your imagination." So I drove down the street. It was a big bang, I was pounding. I stopped, I looked at the wheels, nothing outside... I was wet with sweat, fear, and I already realized that here we go! It's time for the wheels to fall off...And then my wife started laughing...and the rumbling disappeared. by the way. "Look, the labels from the wheels have fallen off"-said she....Oh, yes...big labels with the price and other things were glued on the tread of the wheels...the service workers did not take them off...and I heard the paper hitting the road surface.... My wife says I'm sick...and I don't know...but I'll go again tomorrow and listen to the wheels.....

I don't know what's going on. Hi everyone, I'm 18 and I'm a lesbian. When I was a kid I liked guys, but then around 13-14 when I found out that you can like girls, I felt like I liked them more...? (so I think I might have daddy issues or something like that, so. I used to kind of like guys, but I really like their attention to this day. Like, "I'm in a relationship with a girl, but if this guy gives me attention that would be cool! I like to be the center of attention!" I don't think I'm bi because I can't imagine having sex with a guy or being in a relationship. I feel comfortable to be with a girl and I would like to live my life with her, I like to get attention from a girl, kisses, etc... now let's get to the problem. when I realized that I am not hetero, in my country everything was more or less fine with same-sex relationships...how? nobody cared about it. I was in a long distance relationship with a girl for 2 years and I loved her and she kind of loved me too. as I realized after the breakup, our relationship was not healthy at all. She lied to me, she ignored me a lot, she seemed to love me but sometimes she could just get offended. she lied about everything, about being raped by a guy, about the people she was dating, she said her parents beat her up, etc. I was a fool and really believed it all (although I had my doubts and they were justified). eventually she started to ignore me a lot saying "that's it, we're breaking up". one time we had a political fight and she wanted to break up with me, but she kind of gave me a second chance. I didn't know she was seeing someone else at the time...as time went on, I experienced the same insults from her friends. And when I said, "Don't hang out with that person, they talk shit about me, I don't like it, but it's your choice. I didn't push too hard but it was in this context approximately (before that she insisted that I stop communicating with my friend or she would leave me, I had to do it) another situation happened: she had a friend who lived next door to her and they didn't communicate live but often texted each other. My ex liked to make herself cool and pretend that she was experienced in sex. At the time I was a virgin and did not really talk about sex with her, I was not really comfortable, but something I trusted her. and once my account in the app was blocked and I asked her for a while, she said "no problem" and in the dialog with this guy I accidentally saw "My girlfriend is such a slut, she does fisting". I was shocked. I had never done that in my life...I cried for a long time after that, because I felt uncomfortable and like I was humiliated. Also there was something like "my girlfriend has big tits, like two planets" this was also unpleasant for me, especially the fact that she tells this to a guy I don't even know. after a few months she started to ignore me hard, just write rarely, I could write to her she sits online, but does not answer, just reads. it drove me to tears and hysterics..I thought that everything will be fine, but I thought that everything will be fine. but when we were on the call and I was discussing our future like "oh, it would be cool if we got a kitten" it was at this point that she said "I want to break up with you" (I think it's very nasty of her to do that at this point) I started crying, begging her, etc...but she just told me to fuck off and disconnected. Then I texted her "can we be friends?" she said no and I accepted it...But the most disgusting thing was that when I was crying and suffering she just texted me "I'll think about it till morning and tell you my decision" I was broken and cried all night, hoping that in the morning she would say it's ok etc...She woke up and texted me "I'm blocking you, bye! "After a few days I found out that she had cheated on me. she immediately started dating a girl the day we were separated. and that girl turned out to be a friend who humiliated and insulted me..hmmm so there you go! now I have a new girlfriend who loves me to bits and treats me well and with respect.

But the problem is that after our breakup my country passed a law banning "LGBT" now if you are gay or lesbian you can go to jail...for 12 years. I'm really scared to write this now a little bit...in case they find out. but now I want to go to the main problem.(I'm very anxious, I suffer from overthinking and bad thoughts) At some point after the ban and distance with the girl, I started to feel like I'm attracted to guys...(I never dated a guy and all my 3 ex were girls)it's like my body makes me love them. I'm just looking at an almost at every guy and get a very weird feeling in my belly..I thought, "Okay, if you're bi, it's okay, don't worry about it," but it got worse at some point, like I started reacting to any guy, or to their voice like it was supposed to make me I don't know into him. I pushed those thoughts away. I also want to add that my mother doesn't know about my orientation and I often hear "such a nice guy,tall,handsome,cute,sucker" and it makes me feel even worse>_< I realize that if I react to all guys this way it could be anxiety and fear of falling in love with a guy. Help me please. What could it be? How to treat it? i really need your opinion, maybe someone has faced this before!

me and my boy-friend broke up one week ago, I’m still struggling a lot, crying everyday and having panic attacks. I don’t know anymore if it was the right choice or not, I just wanna stop feeling pain. I can’t help with it anymore. I have friends but it’s not the same thing. I would have never thought that love could hurt this much, but I was wrong. Anyway I’m trying to stay strong but I don’t want to go out anymore, I miss him like air