Hey, everyone.

The last four months I've been experiencing some weird symptoms of spacing out and forgetting things and people. Not in the extreme kind of way. I do remember big details, like who this person is, their name and how we met ect. Although details of what we did or talked about the day before can get a little hazy, and I often need reminders of what happened. When I get those reminders, my brain catches on and it comes back to me. But it often comes in pieces and in different shades.

This state of forgetfullness is not constant. It comes in "episodes" from some hours to days to stretch.

I usually explain it as some kind of "dreamworld" with shaded sunglasses glasses I get into. When I "wake up" from it (aka. take off the glasses) I still technically know where I am, but see everything in a much brighter shade. When I try to remember the time before, it is like trying to remember a drunk night. Again, I remember the big things, but it doesn't really feel like I was present or there. Me and my boyfriend call it KFC (originated from AFK "away from keyboard", but I was not familiar with that term and kept accidentally calling it KFC, so we just stuck with it :P).

This also affects my loved ones, since I don't remember bonding experiences fully, and i with KFC sometimes also forget their needs. Because of this, i really want to find a solution.

So how does OCD come into this?

I as a person am very creative and have many "childish" traits. I usually get urges to do funny stuff , like wanting to climb on a railing, pet the cat or get a leaf from a tree I'm passing. Sadly no matter the circumstances, these urges still remain. Even when I'm having a scuffle with a friend or am comforting someone, I can not get rid of the thoughts that I really want to pet that cat. These urges have never been harmful and therefore I have never even considered them as any disorder. Other symptoms that could align with ocd, is that I very often have random thought processes that don't make sense. I can just go with my day and suddenly think of how cans are made, or what nothingness looks like and have a huge urge to discuss my thoughts. The thoughts are not voluntary and Its difficult for me to shut them out and concentrate/listen on something/someone else while having them.

On the other hand I do not have the "normal" OCD symptoms. I don't have urges to repeat patterns, slap butts in public, nor am I germophobic. I do have strong sense of organizing and knowing where to put things, but on the other hand I don't mind my room being messy at times either. When my brain is foggy or I am stressed I can get I to obsessive cleaning.

Thank you for reading this long post. I don't expect any scientific diagnoses from you guys, we are all just people after all. But I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on the matter. If you have any questions, hit me up 😊

Hi, i'm j. Maybe i'm crazy, I do not know what im doing here, i can not afford psychologist, so I searched for free therapy and here I am. I'm tired, first of all I'm gay, living in lebanon, my parents are so religious, I believe that being gay is haram in our religion, so there is always this feeling that I'm making a sin, that I am getting away from God, I'm losing my personality, I dated a guy who drinks alcohol a lot, so I started drinking, and that is haram too, I can not stop it, i like guys, and i love god, and those two can not be together and I can not get rid of any of them. 2nd of all, i feel like there is something living inside me for example i say" i'm thirsty" then i say me too, i say "i'm hungry" then i say yes lets eat im hungry too, i always feel like there is someone watch me, i go to the mirror fix my hair, and act normal as if someone is watching me, i am scared, i am tired, i feel like the thing inside me wants me to fail University, i try to study but he wants to use the phone, i got angry, my heart hurts me to stop using the phone and i can not, wtf is this. And my biggest problem is that i am poor, I am literally poor, I have a very small car, it always stops working and I call for someone to pick me up, i am 23, i am selling all my stuff because my father is the worst person, he always tell me, u didn't help me picking the olives ( he is a farmer) so why are u eating from them, while i am eating, i always sleep hungry, u will say i am 23 why i am not working, that is because i always have heart pain when i work, i can not get out of the house, whenever i got out, i feel a weird feeling, i am studying now a full stack course, i hope this works, i am tired. I do not know if someone will read this, my english is bad

I have a girlfriend.(I’m gay)We’re abt 3 month together. Before we knew each other for a month or smth,we didn’t rush and became a couple. At first everything was super good first month and a half. Then one day I suddenly wake up with the most anxious feeling ever abt her like my brain started to feel that we already broke up,there were not specific triggers. And she didn’t do anything bad or smth that could hurt me. It lasts for not long for maybe a week and I spoke it out w my gf. I was crying without any reasons and having this feeling abt her. After that I rarely feel anything towards her. I means sometimes there are happy moments and stuff where I realize I love her but the situation doesn’t let Met live normally. I also have mental problems and currently do therapy. I’m also a very big overthinking and often have panic attacks. Also I noticed that after this situation with the feeling my mental health became worse. So I am connection the weird feeling with it. I’m not very emotional,prefer not to cry in front of people and I don’t feel anything even towards my family members. Idk what it could be(

want also to add that before I have been in a relationship for 2 years with other girl and she was emotionally abusing and manipulating me,then left me not that good. So I think it could be also this.

What do u think it could be?

I have a weird wife. As long as I've lived, I can't get used to her. No matter what I do, I do everything wrong...It frustrates me all the time. I feel like a chronic loser. Did you get her flowers? The wrong ones! "You know what my favorites are." Invited me to a cafe, "I don't want to...you know I like to stay home." I eat the "wrong" food, the "unhealthy" food. I wear the wrong clothes, "unfashionable". I have a belly, "you're not athletic". I say the wrong thing in company. In general...I'm under some kind of stress all the time. And when she married me, everything was "the same." I don't know when it became "it's not like that." And the ones who do everything "that way" are the "girlfriends' husbands". They do it this way, and I don't do it that way. I want to meet these "holy men." And ask them how they got to this point. And recently, my wife has developed a new habit. First she asks me to do something, I try to do the best I can to match it. And she does the opposite. And everything I start doing, I have to redo it. That's even worse. It's destroying me as a person. I don't see the results of my labor and I'm constantly redoing some mistakes. I can't take it anymore. My friends advise me to ignore it and live. But how can I ignore her? We live together. and I started just taking alcohol. I have a drink and I'm easy and I have fun and I don't mind that I'm a loser. She starts yelling that I'm an alcoholic. But I don't care in that state and I can tell her, "No, I'm doing the right thing." But when I'm sober, I have to endure a scandal after such a boldness of mine....