There's been a lot of anxiety in my life lately... It's been there before, but... Now she torments me every day... I'm even used to it, and when I don't have anxious thoughts, I look for them to "think". To some extent, I can't live without them... I worry about everything, even my thoughts, which arise suddenly. And I'm about to start thinking and I'm going to be distracted from work again. I began to listen to myself: there was a pricking in my side - what if it was a symptom of a terrible disease? What if I don't go to the doctor I miss the onset of the disease? And it me in the side!! I understand that I am "definitely" sick!! I have a thick medical history, where it is written in detail that I am healthy. But it could be a mistake, isn't it that I sometimes feel nauseous? Isn't that normal? And I start imagining pictures of my funeral. And then... Thought, "How will my boyfriend behave at the funeral?" And if he doesn't care about me, I have anxious thoughts. I imagine that the guy will find another girl after my death... Jealousy wakes up and I call him and ask, "Are you sure you're going to cry at my funeral?" To which he yells at me that I'm going crazy and hangs up. And I really feel like my thoughts are going to drive me crazy. And I'm starting to think about whether I need to do a brain exam. After such thoughts, I begin to feel how "my brain hurts" and I feel really sick. I make an appointment with a doctor at the clinic... I'm starting to read about brain disease. And so the days pass... Just an enchanted krgug from which I want to get out..

I’ve been in an abusive relationship during my teenage years, which I believe was the root of my panic disorder. It built gradually over the years, and at first I didn’t take it for what it was. I thought I was prone to fainting, and when my first serious panic attack hit me, I thought it was a heat stroke. Over time, I learnt to catch the early symptoms: the unexplainable bursts of terror in my stomach, the feeling of heat and intense sweating, parts of my body becoming numb. One day I had a wave of panic attacks so strong that I had to cancel all my plans and stay in bed all afternoon. It began to interfere with my work and my personal life. Every time I thought I’d be getting a tingling sensation in my hands, I’d become terrified that I was going to pass out. My husband who was watching me struggle with it all finally took me by the hand and escorted me to a psychiatrist.

I must say now that my first two attempts with medical professionals were a complete failure. The psychiatrist prescribed me a sedative and a selective serotonin inhibitor, to cope with my anxiety. It helped, so much so that I believed I was cured forever. How naive of me! I stopped taking the meds 1.5 months later, without consulting my doctor. Why take more pills, when I was absolutely fine, right? Well, never do that! Don’t be me. Any doctor will tell you that you must take your meds for at least 3 months, usually longer, for any long-term effect. So a month without my pills, and my panic returned in full force. I had an episode in the subway and crawled back home, completely defeated and without hope of being normal again.

My husband insisted that I see another doctor. My second one was more on the side of alternative medicine, and we practised meditation and breathing during the first couple of sessions. It kind of helped, but only when I was not alone. So after two weeks I decided against continuing the therapy sessions.

By that time, my attitude towards medical help was sceptical. I began my Internet search in the hope to find stories of other people coping with panic attacks. This brought me to CBT - cognitive behavioral therapy. It sounded effective, and I decided it could be my last chance. I spent weeks choosing the right therapist I’d be comfortable with. And my search was not in vain!

With my third therapist, we started by exploring what a panic attack actually is and what it does to my body. It really helped. With meditation I didn't quite know what I was doing. But understanding the fight-or-flight body response, the adrenaline rush, and how my fear of it only makes it worse – it all made sense. Then we started to learn the encouragement technique. Basically, the idea of CBT is to not battle a panic attack, but to let it happen and embrace it. So I was willingly controlling my thoughts. When my heart was beginning to race, my body temperature increasing, my task was not to fuss over it or try to stop it, but to lean into it. I had to tell my heart to race even faster. I had to imagine flames of fire dancing on my arms. I had to encourage my body to continue with its ridiculous panic in order to make my brain register that I was not afraid. There was nothing to be afraid of, and my body didn’t need to act as it did. Eventually, my goal was to anticipate my panic attacks with excitement. I know it sounds silly, but once you want to have a panic attack, you’ll never have one!

I haven’t had a single episode of panic in months now, and while I don’t consider myself cured, I’m confident I can handle it. All that matters is changing your reaction.

I hope it was helpful.

Currently, going through a lot of shit that I think I don't deserve. In my family,my father took several loans againsts all assests out of which some got taken by bank through auction. Next is his business, which is not working, he's at home since August 2022 and doesn't even find any jobs. My younger brother is pursuing bachelor degree and is also not making any efforts to even score good in his college. My mom is a hardworking and strong woman who is still stick to papa bcuz she has no other options available. I'm a sole earner in my family, paying rent to grocery n other expenses come under my umbrella. My relationship is going well but I'm not even 1% satisfied with his family. They're from UP and are somehow ready to sccept me but....they want me to follow all the narrow-minded made rules. You guys can't believe, they want me to sacrifice my job, freedom, and even my family. I have never imagined such family can exist in today's generation where they want their daughter to live a happy life without sacrificing anything. But don't want their daughter in law like her. Their conditions are: you need to wear saree for the whole life with ghunghat no other options. You can't do jobs outside home, wfh is allowed but need to handle family, husband, job, sanskar, and relatives at the same time. You can't go out alone. Anyone of his family should be there. You can't post anything on social medua, if you want, you should not add any of the family members n relatives in your channels. You cant even wear suit at home or outside home. Only wear when you'll go outside city or state. You have to handle home like yours and oy you've the responsibility of it. His sister frequently come to his home (multiple reason or sometimes no reasons) but i can't go to mine bcuz his parents are ill nd I have to take care of them. I need to sacrifice everything including parents just to prove his relatives that they found a so called sanskari bahu with no grudges and disagreement issues. I don't know what to do. I love him I also know that he can't took my back when it comes to freedom. He can't stand against his parents. All he is doing is brainwashing me with the name of good girl nd family-oriented woman who can do anything for her love.

I'm even going through mental health issues. I've migraine (severe headache) and depression. Even visited psychologist n neuro several times. But that shit somewhere scares me a lot, idk why. Sometimes, I even got suicidal thoughts due to these big list of problems.

Pleasehelp me out with this. What actions should I need to take? What to do🥺 please help me

I don't know what's going on. Hi everyone, I'm 18 and I'm a lesbian. When I was a kid I liked guys, but then around 13-14 when I found out that you can like girls, I felt like I liked them more...? (so I think I might have daddy issues or something like that, so. I used to kind of like guys, but I really like their attention to this day. Like, "I'm in a relationship with a girl, but if this guy gives me attention that would be cool! I like to be the center of attention!" I don't think I'm bi because I can't imagine having sex with a guy or being in a relationship. I feel comfortable to be with a girl and I would like to live my life with her, I like to get attention from a girl, kisses, etc... now let's get to the problem. when I realized that I am not hetero, in my country everything was more or less fine with same-sex relationships...how? nobody cared about it. I was in a long distance relationship with a girl for 2 years and I loved her and she kind of loved me too. as I realized after the breakup, our relationship was not healthy at all. She lied to me, she ignored me a lot, she seemed to love me but sometimes she could just get offended. she lied about everything, about being raped by a guy, about the people she was dating, she said her parents beat her up, etc. I was a fool and really believed it all (although I had my doubts and they were justified). eventually she started to ignore me a lot saying "that's it, we're breaking up". one time we had a political fight and she wanted to break up with me, but she kind of gave me a second chance. I didn't know she was seeing someone else at the time...as time went on, I experienced the same insults from her friends. And when I said, "Don't hang out with that person, they talk shit about me, I don't like it, but it's your choice. I didn't push too hard but it was in this context approximately (before that she insisted that I stop communicating with my friend or she would leave me, I had to do it) another situation happened: she had a friend who lived next door to her and they didn't communicate live but often texted each other. My ex liked to make herself cool and pretend that she was experienced in sex. At the time I was a virgin and did not really talk about sex with her, I was not really comfortable, but something I trusted her. and once my account in the app was blocked and I asked her for a while, she said "no problem" and in the dialog with this guy I accidentally saw "My girlfriend is such a slut, she does fisting". I was shocked. I had never done that in my life...I cried for a long time after that, because I felt uncomfortable and like I was humiliated. Also there was something like "my girlfriend has big tits, like two planets" this was also unpleasant for me, especially the fact that she tells this to a guy I don't even know. after a few months she started to ignore me hard, just write rarely, I could write to her she sits online, but does not answer, just reads. it drove me to tears and hysterics..I thought that everything will be fine, but I thought that everything will be fine. but when we were on the call and I was discussing our future like "oh, it would be cool if we got a kitten" it was at this point that she said "I want to break up with you" (I think it's very nasty of her to do that at this point) I started crying, begging her, etc...but she just told me to fuck off and disconnected. Then I texted her "can we be friends?" she said no and I accepted it...But the most disgusting thing was that when I was crying and suffering she just texted me "I'll think about it till morning and tell you my decision" I was broken and cried all night, hoping that in the morning she would say it's ok etc...She woke up and texted me "I'm blocking you, bye! "After a few days I found out that she had cheated on me. she immediately started dating a girl the day we were separated. and that girl turned out to be a friend who humiliated and insulted me..hmmm so there you go! now I have a new girlfriend who loves me to bits and treats me well and with respect.

But the problem is that after our breakup my country passed a law banning "LGBT" now if you are gay or lesbian you can go to jail...for 12 years. I'm really scared to write this now a little bit...in case they find out. but now I want to go to the main problem.(I'm very anxious, I suffer from overthinking and bad thoughts) At some point after the ban and distance with the girl, I started to feel like I'm attracted to guys...(I never dated a guy and all my 3 ex were girls)it's like my body makes me love them. I'm just looking at an almost at every guy and get a very weird feeling in my belly..I thought, "Okay, if you're bi, it's okay, don't worry about it," but it got worse at some point, like I started reacting to any guy, or to their voice like it was supposed to make me I don't know into him. I pushed those thoughts away. I also want to add that my mother doesn't know about my orientation and I often hear "such a nice guy,tall,handsome,cute,sucker" and it makes me feel even worse>_< I realize that if I react to all guys this way it could be anxiety and fear of falling in love with a guy. Help me please. What could it be? How to treat it? i really need your opinion, maybe someone has faced this before!