My wife, who is a psychiatrist, always insists on a full-openness approach. At least with the people you love. I agree with her, I’ve lost so many friends because of my depression and untreated OCD, and because I didn’t realize myself at the time what I was fighting. It helps to explain exactly what your inner war is about, rather than sharing only your diagnosis. Don’t expect people who have never coped with serious mental issues to know what you need. BPD sounds incomprehensible to them, and researching it on their own may even push them away further. In contrast, explaining after your episode of rage or jealousy what your trigger was and what kind of reaction would help you manage it, will strengthen your bond and help your loved one understand you better. Do not blame yourself for one unsuccessful relationship, try to learn from it!
Being vulnerable scares us all! Trust and openness with the people you care about can backfire in all unpredictable sorts of ways, yet it can also help establish long-lasting relationships because others will learn how to respond in a positive way to your mood swings and will joke about them rather than judge them. Perhaps coworkers and distant relatives do not need to know all the details, but your family and your future partner will learn to support you. Trust them.
I think your ex-boyfriend was not ready for you. He was younger than you, maybe his commitment to your relationships wasn’t deep enough. It takes maturity on both sides to comfort and accept each other with all the imprfections. I hope your next relationship will be more fullfilling and you’ll feel more at ease being fully honest ❤️
people who run away from the mere mentioning of a mental disorder are misinformed. they think nothing like that will ever happen to them! if we keep such things secret, it will continue to be a taboo in our society, and we’ll be stigmatized for the rest of our lives. it is normal to have problems. we must ensure that it’s absolutely fine to talk about them.
I wouldn’t tell my private health details to colleagues or partner’s relatives. What for? They can use it against you, even when it’s undeserved. With a life partner, it’s kind of tricky. I’d appreciate total openness, being left in the dark hurts. I would leave if I found out my partner had been keeping something like that from me. So, imo, you did everything right with that guy, and now you need to take care of yourself.
Dear Sarah, do not close yourself to people because of one misguided relationship. It will only bring loneliness and alienation. There’s nothing wrong with your diagnosis, as long as you get treatment. Choose wisely whom to share your story with, but don’t think that you are always the problem or the reason for bad outcomes. You’ll see it for yourself when you meet the right person.
When I was in depression, and not even realizing it, I craved reassurance and love. I screwed up a lot of connections with people because I hungered for their attention like a maniac but couldn’t give anything in return at the time. In hindsight, if I’d told them what I was dealing with, if I knew myself that I had developed depression and needed professional help, I think my social circle would have been much broader today. It would at least include people who would be willing to show compassion and support. I regret not asking for help.
Hi all strength and love to you. It's always a huge relief to open up to the people closest to you since you no longer have to hide what you are feeling like your parents. You ultimately don't want to be an intimate long term relationship with someone who doesn't get you or accept you for who you are. Always remember that whether a person is receptive or not its okay. you deserve genuine and healthy love. Those relationships that add value, joy, meaning to one's life should be the goal rather than those that are filled with toxicity. This should be clear when you share your diagnosis. if they are judgemental, make you feel uncomfortable then it's a choice you make of how important it is to have such people in your life.
Mental health disorder are deeply personal and there is no right way to talk about them. All you can do is to find an approach that works for you.
First whenever you want to tell someone about your bipolar disorder you need to question yourself:
These questions you should always ask yourself before disclosing about it to anyone.
# you can ask them have you heard of bipolar disorder or
# have you met anyone with this condition.
# what do you think about it?
This will give you an idea of how receptive that person is to hearing and understanding about your condition. This can be good starting point of conversation if you feel the person is receptive. If not you take a call should you further initiate the conversation. This will help you to decide as well to whom to disclose and form whom to keep it a secret. you will save yourself from self blaming as well.