In today's complex world, we often have to face a lot of different events and responsibilities that can stir up complicated feelings. Sometimes life becomes overwhelmingly stressful. I’m a practicing psychologist, and I want to share with you some strategies to cope with daily pressures that proved to be useful:
● Make space for self-care.
We all manage stress in different ways. Some self-care basics are getting enough sleep, prioritizing healthy food and getting exercise. Consider what specifically works for you - perhaps, it’s walking in a park on a sunny day, going to a cinema, dancing to your favorite music, meditating or having a warm bath. Make a list of all the activities that help you relax and recharge, and try to do at least one each day.
● Set boundaries.
It's important to recognize situations or people that trigger stress, so you can prepare for them or avoid them when needed. If some situations are hard to escape, set clear boundaries. For instance, at a family gathering, ask relatives not to bring up certain tense topics, or plan an exit strategy if conversations get a bad turn - excuse yourself politely and leave the room until it calms down. Another example: if a friend or a family member always calls you at night when you don’t want to talk, ask them to stop doing it or create a clear time limit on how long you can be on the call.
● Practice being present.
Being present in everyday life helps us enjoy the moment more, be aware of our thoughts and feelings without being caught up in them, and reduces stress and anxiety. Try being fully engaged in whatever you’re doing. The best way to do it is by using all of your 5 senses. Pay attention to the warmth of a hot drink, the aroma and taste of food, the texture of a blanket. Listen closely to your friends and family when you’re with them. As you walk outside, feel the wind or sun on your face and the ground under your feet. Focus on your surroundings, houses, trees and plants, and notice every sound: cars passing, people laughing, birds singing, songs from local cafes.
Focusing on these small details can help us instantly ground ourselves and feel more calm even amongst chaos. You can even create a “calm dawn kit” that will include objects to help you ground yourself at any time: for example, a squeeze ball, a scented cream or a candle, your favorite candies, a recording of nature sounds, a calming picture.
● Take a moment for gratitude.
Studies have shown that being grateful and thinking of positive things helps us cope with stress and improves emotional well-being. Here’s a simple practice that you can try:
- In the morning, after waking up, think of three things you are grateful for at this moment in your life. These can be simple but meaningful things. For example, the warmth and comfort of your home, the support of your loved ones, or the nice weather outside. Allow yourself to immerse in the state of gratitude and enjoy it.
- In the evening, before you go to bed, think about the past day. Remember three positive events that happened during the day - whether they were big events or small joys. For example, you had a great chat with a friend, tried a new dish in a cafe, watched a good movie, completed a task or just got through the day. Also allow yourself to feel gratitude for these moments.
For a better effect, write these things down as you think about them. It’s okay if you have a hard time feeling gratitude right away. Keep doing the practice on a regular basis and over time you may notice it feeling more natural.
● Reach out for support.
There’s something very healing in human connections and in knowing that we’re not alone in our struggles. Don't hesitate to reach out to close friends or family members you trust. Share your concerns and feelings with them. If there’s no one you can talk to, call a mental health helpline in your country. A person on the other line will listen empathetically and help you deal with these difficult emotions. It also can be helpful to search for local support groups where you can share your stories and talk about what’s bothering you in a safe environment. And if you feel like the stress is becoming too overwhelming, consider reaching out to a counselor or a therapist that will help you find the root of your problem and figure out ways to overcome it.
I hope these tips give you some ideas to make each day feel more manageable and less overwhelming. The key is to gently experiment with self-care strategies until you find what works for your needs. Feel free to share any other coping strategies that you find useful.
omg, this is so important. our bodies really do know when something's not right. it's like they have this sixth sense we need to pay attention to. i love how u r so in tune with urself now. that's amazing. sometimes we just need to step back and listen to that inner voice. it can be scary, but it's better than ignoring it and getting hurt. u deserve to feel safe and happy. don't let anyone take that from u. ur story is such an inspiration. keep being strong and true to urself. u got this!
it's important to acknowledge the physical and emotional signals your body is sending you. these signals are valuable, but it's also crucial to gather as much objective information as possible before making any decisions. while your intuition and bodily reactions are significant, they should be considered alongside other evidence and perspectives. speaking with your therapist is a wise choice, as they can provide professional guidance and help you analyze the situation more thoroughly. maintaining open communication with your new romantic interest and setting clear boundaries can also contribute to a balanced and informed decision-making process. ultimately, your safety and well-being are vital, but ensuring that your course of action is well-rounded and considers all aspects can lead to more effective and lasting solutions.
@lenorearmstrong716 while I’m scheduled to speak with my therapist later today, I’ve conclusively decided to go no contact because everything I anticipated happening, is happening before me and not in a good way.
This is such a powerful reflection on the importance of listening to our bodies. Often, we get caught up in the whirlwind of new relationships and overlook the signals our bodies send us. It’s clear you’ve been through a lot, and your insights are invaluable. One approach I’ve found helpful is to engage in activities that ground you, like spending time in nature or engaging in creative pursuits. These activities can help you quiet the noise and tune into what your body and mind are telling you. Remember, it’s okay to take a step back and reassess. Your well-being should always come first. Keep nurturing yourself and trust that your intuition will guide you to where you need to be.
@Luis For my safety, I’ve chosen to go no contact and to disconnect. After confirming it’s intuition and not anxiety, the last thing I’d want to do is gaslight myself into remaining in an unsafe space. The first time I did, it was what caused me the narcissistic trauma that could’ve been avoided. The sure signs that something is off about my now former romantic interest is the dysphoric mania and that coping mechanisms weren’t helping. In the past I’ve been with people who would trigger more anxious tendencies in me but it would be anxiety and nothing more, with my now ex former interest it’s sickness, loss of appetite, depression and isolation. That’s not normal, and it’s all happening the same way it did with the narcissist. I have so much care for this guy but round one was enough, I’d like to actually recover
Wow!! It’s incredible how our bodies can pick up on things that our minds might not immediately recognize. I think it's so important to create boundaries and listen to those subtle signs our bodies give us. I once read that our gut feelings are often our subconscious picking up on red flags that our conscious mind hasn’t yet processed. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, and it’s amazing how you’ve been able to articulate your experiences so clearly. Trusting your intuition is crucial. It’s not easy, but sometimes walking away is the best choice, even if it feels like you’re leaving something potentially good behind. Your safety and peace of mind are paramount. Take care of yourself and continue to prioritize your well-being.
@Martin 👾 After escaping my assailant, the covert narcissist, I immediately began researching into narcissism and trauma. I eventually a psychology recommended book called “The Body Keeps the Score” and it educated me so much. I brought some other books that explained the types of narcissism and that helped me learn that there’s a spectrum. Finding so much affirmation in those titles provided crucial insight, and with the help of therapy and workshops, they’ve been continuously guiding me toward better places. However it’s because the first time I experienced this, it really stood out. It was horrendous and painful. That’s when I’ve made the conclusion, “if my heart and mind are confused about a person, if my body tells me I’m unsafe, I’m unsafe and I’m leaving.” Since learning to trust my intuition more, it’s saved me time and time again. I will never doubt anything my body tells me ever again, especially when I know it’s not unprovoked hypervigilance
I always set firm boundaries and observe how my friends respond and react to it. Their reaction can be very telling. I have to remind myself that it’s okay to prioritize myself and make decisions that safeguard my mental and emotional health. Sometimes I think too much about others and neglect my own health. Thanks for a reminder to take care of myself! Thank you for sharing, it’s what I needed today!!
i feel u so much on this. our bodies r so smart, like they know wats up before we do. u gotta trust that feeling, even if it sucks. sometimes ppl seem nice but there's something off, and we gotta respect that. u dont owe anyone anything, not even an explanation if u feel unsafe. its ur life and u gotta protect it. maybe take some time to be by urself and figure out wat u need. dont feel bad about putting urself first. if its messing with ur mental health, its not worth it. stay strong and keep listening to urself. u got this 💖💖💖
@darrenfunk972 I appreciate you so much for this affirmation, thank you. My heart hurts like hell but I’d rather be separated and safe than together and in danger you know?
One thing that really helped me in similar situations is to take a step back and assess the situation from a third-person perspective. Imagine you’re advising a friend going through what you’re experiencing. This external viewpoint can provide clarity and bring me to conclusion that is not rushed and impulsive. Also, consider the patterns you’ve observed and whether they align with your core values and long-term happiness. Sometimes, the answers we seek are right in front of us, masked by our emotional fog
@Jor49 After long thought and heavy consideration, I’ve conclusively decided to step back and go no contact. We wouldn’t work longterm because our goals are different and I’d rather us not waste time with one another. Additionally, while I care for him so much, something just doesn’t seem right and I’ll always choose my wellbeing over anything. I wish him the best but moving forward, I’m going to solely focus on my health, career and safety.
Reading your post gave me chills because it shows the power of intuition. Our minds can sometimes be tricked by emotions, but our bodies rarely lie. It's fascinating how the body can manifest stress and anxiety in such tangible ways. When you mention the physical symptoms and the sense of impending doom, it’s a clear indication that something is not right. It's crucial to trust these feelings and not brush them off as mere paranoia. You're taking a proactive step by acknowledging these signs and considering your safety first. Keep listening to your body; it knows more than we often realize.
@vwillms813 After surviving a covert narcissist, I told myself that conflict between my mind and heart won’t matter if my body is telling me something’s wrong. Since learning to trust my intuition more it’s saved me from countless situations that could’ve been a “repeated lesson” had I not been proactive in closely adhering my gut feelings. I have so much love and care for this guy but not at the expense of my wellbeing, especially when safety is something I’m trying to re-establish for myself.
While having the perspective of others helps, I was hesitant to ask because anyone who’s not experienced this kind of trauma or physiological sensations in response to trauma, wouldn’t understand. And I’ve seen people unknowingly encourage survivors and victims to remain in abusive relationships longer than they should’ve because of that lack of understanding. Myself personally, I want to ensure I’m acting within reason and that it’s not my BPD sabotaging a relationship.
Having everything I needed affirmed, I’m going to continue taking steps to protect myself however way possible. It hurts and it sucks, but I’ll live.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's a stark reminder of how essential it is to pay attention to our bodies. When you describe the physical symptoms and the emotional turmoil, it’s clear that your body is trying to tell you something. It's easy to dismiss these signs, especially when you're in a new relationship and everything seems great on the surface. But deep down, you know when something isn't right. Trusting your intuition is a powerful tool that can help protect you. Prioritize your safety and well-being above all else. Stay strong and continue to listen to your body.
@butterfly_effect learning to trust my intuition has saved me from so many “repeated lessons” and I’m glad that my body communicates with me in this fashion to provide clarity. I’ll give people many chances even knowing they only mean me harm because I want to ensure I’m being fair in my approach. I hate disassociating from people I wanted to maintain longterm connections with but I’m putting my safety before anything.
hey, i totally get where ur coming from. sometimes our bodies scream at us to pay attention, and it's so easy to ignore. but it sounds like u've learned a lot from ur past experiences. i think it's key to keep an open line of communication with urself. if ur body is saying something’s wrong, it probably is. maybe try to find some space to clear ur head and listen to that inner voice. it doesn’t have to be a huge decision right now, just take things one day at a time. ur doing amazing by even recognizing these signs. keep being kind to urself and trust ur gut.