Why has dating become so unnecessarily complicated? Hookup culture and “situationships” are glamourised while the ENM/polyamorous lifestyle has become unsafe because people who don’t understand it, think they can have multiple partners without discussing respect, consent and boundaries. In and out of romantic relationships, socialising can occasionally feel insufferable.
No disrespect to those who DO engage in hookup culture, situationships or polyamory but as a monogamous, queer person seeking an authentic connection, it’s frustrating. Improper communication, no intentionality, 0 chemistry or compatibility, horrid conflict resolution skills and unhealed trauma… It’s a LOT to navigate, especially as someone who’s actively working to better themselves, for themselves before others.
I have so many people that consider me a friend yet I consider nobody mine because everyone’s definition of friendship differs. I’m tired of being taken advantage of; being treated as a therapist or an afterthought. I’m tired of people falling in love with this idealised version of me they created in their head and demonising me when I deviate from the script they’ve made. I’m tired of people assuming I’m famous because I have a platform and attempting to gain accolades through association.
There’s no reason for building and maintaining longterm connections to be this difficult but the fact that it is, I hate it. I just want to find likeminded people who’re just as passionate about their work and commonality with others, as well as their differences. I want to be friends with and date someone who’s just as open-minded, self-aware, compassionate, driven, accountable, knowledge-seeking and vivacious as I am. But I don’t think that’ll happen for a while, so I’ll remain career-focused until then.
