The college experience isn't one-size-fits-all. Each person's journey is as unique as a fingerprint. Some bloom early, others take their time, and that's perfectly fine. Finding your rhythm in this big world takes time, and there's absolutely no rush. Your worth isn't measured by how many friends you have or how comfortable you are in crowded spaces. When do you feel most like yourself?
@beauty.heather1906 Yes , everyone are dealing with some ups and downs in life , but u know I just want be calm in my classrooms , to be confident even when I have no friends in my class, not to overthink , that's what I want
@growe907 I understand your desire for inner peace and confidence. I mean who doesn't want that, right? 🥲 But, in my opinion, confidence isn't about having everything figured out. You just simply can't do that. No one can. Confidence is about accepting yourself as you are. I know it sounds cliche and everyone's says it, but it's true. Also, it sounds like you are an anxious person, and I get you sm on this. My solution? Trying to focus on what I'm presenting, what I'm learning. BTW, you don't need to force yourself to be outgoing, instead, focus on being present and engaged in your own way. The best version of you is the real you, remember that
I was super shy in college, and honestly, it was both a blessing and a curse. I've seen cliques form and people fall out. Looking back now, I can see how all those "cool" groups that seemed so important back then didn't really matter in the long run. Some of those tight friend groups don't even talk to each other anymore. Being shy meant I did most of my work alone, and yeah, sometimes it felt lonely. But it also meant I didn't get caught up in all the drama that was always happening. And trust me, there was so much drama!
I know right now it feels like you're the only one going through this. Like everyone else has it figured out and you're just stuck. But they don't have it figured out either. They're just better at pretending.
I met my real friends well after college. Seriously! When you're not forced to be friends with people just because you see them every day, you end up finding people who actually get you. I know it's super hard right now. Like, really hard. Every day probably feels like a battle just to show up. But please don't give up on yourself
One day (and I know this sounds cheesy, but it's true), you're going to look back at this time and it won't hurt so much. You might even laugh about how worried you were. Not because your feelings weren't real, but because you'll see how much stronger you got from dealing with all this
Just take it one day at a time. That's all anyone can really do
@acoleman276 Oh man, I totally get what you're saying! I was literally the shyest person ever in school and college. I would sit in the back of the class and pray nobody would notice me. I would get super red in the face if a teacher called on me. It was pretty rough. But here's the crazy thing - now I have my own band and we play at bars occasionally! If someone told me back then that I'd be standing on stage, singing and playing guitar in front of strangers, I would've laughed in their face. No way, not me!
@acoleman276 It's kind of a funny story actually! It started with my roommate after college who had a guitar. I would play it when nobody was home because I was too embarrassed to let anyone hear me. Plus, like you, I was shy and super introverted growing up, so perfoming was never even a though in my head. Then one day he caught me playing and instead of laughing, he said I was pretty good! Turned out, we had a pretty similar interests that we just didn't talk about, made a little band. We mostly do covers, but we have a couple of our own songs as well! It's not a full-time for sure, but I am so fulfilled with this. You could say that that tiny bit of encouragement changed everything
@acoleman276 Oh gosh, it took me about forever! First, I had to get comfortable playing in front of my roommate. Then we started jamming with his friends. I still remember my first open mic night, my hands were shaking so bad I could barely hold the pick! But you know what's weird? After that first song, it got easier. Like, way easier. And yeah, I get what your saying about giving a presentation vs performing. It's definitely two completely different things. I've had problems with presenting things in school and college, and I still can't believe that I do these gigs now!
@luis.b Wait, what? That's such a cool transformation! How did you get from super shy to performing on stage? I'm really curious because that seems like such a huge change!
@luis.b WHat an awesome story!! It really shows how sometimes we just need that one person to believe in us. Did you start playing in public right away or was it a gradual thing? I'm wondering, because even now I can't imagine myself performing even for a group of 10 people. Doing presentation? Easy. Because presentation is faceless, but with music is like your whole heart is on display. That's sick, man!
The beautiful thing about life is that we're all works in progress. Some days will be harder than others, and that's okay. I suggest you create a morning routine that grounds you. For me, it's having something with green tea :) Be patient with yourself, because change doesn't happen overnight, which music helps calm your mind?
not everyone needs to be the life of the party or the center of attention. some of the most successful people i know are introverts who found their own way to shine. focus on progress, not perfection. remember that discomfort often leads to growth. embrace your uniqueness - it's your superpower, let yourself feel whatever you're feeling without judgment. find activities that bring you joy, even if they're different from what others enjoy. create your own definition of normal
Wanted to reach out because I totally feel you on this. I'm in the middle of exam season right now and omg it's absolutely chaotic. My anxiety is through the roof too and I completely understand what you're going through with the social stuff. I literally get so nervous sitting in lecture halls too, my heart starts racing and sometimes I feel like I can't breathe properly. And when professors call on me? Total panic mode! I freeze up and forget everything I know
The thing about feeling like an outsider really hits home. I see everyone hanging out and laughing together and I'm just there like how do they do it so easily? I feel like I'm watching everyone else live their best college life while I'm stuck in my head. It's supposed to be the best years of my life, right?
But you know what's the craziest thing? Even though it feels like everyone else has it all figured out, they probably don't. I bet there are others in your class feeling the exact same way but everyone's just really good at hiding it
Please know you're not alone. I know it probably doesn't help much right now when you're feeling so overwhelmed, but I really do understand what you're going through. if you need someone to vent to, I'm here
Success isn't measured by how many friends you have or how comfortable you are in crowds. It's measured by your personal growth. Each day brings new opportunities to learn and evolve. Focus on yourself rather than looking at what others are doing. Tomorrow is a new day and you can start changing! What goals would you like to achieve this semester?
College can be overwhelming, especially with large classes and social pressures
Try focusing on one small thing at a time. Maybe start with finding a quiet corner in the library where you can decompress between classes. Take deep breaths. Stay hydrated. Get enough sleep
You're doing better than you think. Consider joining a small study group, sometimes smaller settings are more comfortable. This phase of life is temporary. Each day is a new opportunity to try again. Trust your own pace. Build your confidence gradually. Know that it's okay to take breaks when needed
Hi! How're you feeling right now? I am anxious as well and i know how hard it is to be in a settings like this. I'm really sorry, but don't give up, i believe in you!
Hi,
Social anxiousness does affect your day to day life and living with it is over whelming. To completely over come it would take time.You should reach a therapist who would provide you the safe environment where you dont have to worry about how and what you express. Along with it lets kick start with few strategies initially which can help you. Understand it is perfectly okay to go at your pace which is comfortable to overcome it.
Start by questioning yourself. Answer these honestly which will help you understand the root cause of your social anxiety:
*You should practise scenarios of your classroom in the mirror. You should just look at yourself in the mirror and ask a question. keep practising it till you get comfortable. You can also step out to a grocery shop and just make a conversation with the cashier.