I am usually drained out of energy. Feeling lonely , sleepy, hungry all the time . I just can't understand what's happening . I have very less friends and now I am loosing them my relatives aren't that good enough to understand me they just try to laugh at me for any possible reason. I am surrounded by really negative people . I don't know what should I do in my life , in my future . All of my interest are just flew away . I am not happy but I am not sad either . It isn't boaring nor it is interesting . I feel what's the point to live

I’m really confused right now. I can’t really explain what I feel. I am stressing about everything; my past, present, future, family problems, financial problems, my appearance, just everything! I feel so drained. My heart feels so heavy :( I always think negative and I can’t even think positive. I really don’t know what’s happening to me anymore. When I feel sad, I just eat, smoke cigarettes, and even hurt myself sometimes. I hate my life. I feel like every people in my life fkin drains me. I want to lose weight, but I can’t. I keep eating even tho I’m full.

I am really mad abt myself. I’m mad at my parents. I’m mad at my friends. I’m mad at the people around me. I did everything to make them proud, I did anything I can just to make them proud, but it wasn’t enough, they still find some bad abt it.

I really don’t know what I’m talking abt rn, my mind’s a mess. I’m confused. I’m hurt and it keeps hurting. My heart is so heavy and I can’t even sleep. I just want to end this suffering. I’m really tired :(

It's been two years since I started university. I have just not been able to find my sort of people here. I prefer people who are passionate about what they are doing, conceptual with respect to their studies, ambitious and study stuff because they genuinely have the thirst for knowledge and not merely for getting good grades. I feel like the people I am around with now are extremely superficial. Caring too much about how they look or how many snaps they upload. I always feel drained whenever I have to be with them. I have found some people who don't respect my boundaries when I have clearly spoken out about how I don't want them to do it. I only have the same 6 people at most I talk to each day and they are also equally draining. I want to find someone else but I am finding it extremely difficult. I have also developed social anxiety to some extent because of which If I do leave these people, I'll just have no one to be with and it will make me even more anxious in social situations. I feel extremely alone and isolated and often try to not interact with anyone just to keep my peace of mind. I feel like these people are slowly making me forget who I am. I have been feeling mentally and physically drained during this course of time too. I feel like I am numb to everything. I don't feel excited by things I would have with before. Neither do I care if things go extremely wrong. I feel like if my life came crumbling down right now it's likely to some extent that I won't blink an eye because I just can't bring myself to care. Now everything feels like it's tuned down. I don't know what to do and am slowly losing hope. I just got my hair cut today and I don't feel anything about it. Previously, I would have been so excited to show it to people but this time nothing's happening. The only reason I even got them cut in the first place was beacuse I thought it would help me mentally. It didn't.

My hands are literally shaking while i am writing this , today I came to know that I have missed my test which was on 7th and no one have even asked me because I have no friends here no one to talk too , one that friend asked me whom I doesn't like and something happens now and I think he will too don't talk to me now , I don't care but no one is my friend here except him , I really want to cry hard , shout loud.Getting irritated over small things which are not going as I want.I have no energy to bear more problems , more stress.Always end up

having some misunderstanding.

Didn't attend director's class , and now it's on Wednesday

I don't know , why everything bad happens with me only .

I wish I could write everything here , because it's effecting me inside like a burden , like a heavy weight to in my chest. I can't understand what's happening