Hey, you’re not stupid nor lazy. We all feel unwell sometimes and you've been struggling for so long. I can imagine how exhausting it feels.
Perhaps a naive question, but have you checked the physical aspects of your health? Sometimes depression can be induced by physical conditions that need a fix. Thyroid and gut microbiome are the two main culprits, so I’d visit an endocrinologist / gastroenterologist, just to be sure.
Hmm. Have you considered seeking a second opinion from a different psychiatrist? It's possible that there may be underlying factors contributing to your condition that haven't been fully explored yet. It's also common to experience difficulty finding the right diagnosis and treatment plan, especially when symptoms are overlapping, but I’d start doubting if there’s no response to ANY treatment. 🤔
It’s the first time I’ve ever heard the term “narcissistic swings”. It’s also astounding that your diagnosis was changed from bipolar to this. BPD and depression are quite serious disorders that need serious treatment, while avoidant personality disorder and narcissism might not even need medication. It does sound like your doctor doesn’t quite know how to help you.
Sometimes doctors have a hard time distinguishing between bipolar and cyclothymia, the latter manifesting in more frequent mood swings. Do you have phases of hypomania following your depression periods? This is the state when everything seems possible, and you want to do everything in one day. It may also lead to spending a lot of money or doing somewhat risky things.
One more idea that comes to mind is treatment-resistant depression. In that case, no antidepressants have any significant effect. In that case, a good psychiatrist would recommend trying TMS, which is the recent best solution for difficult or chronic cases. Perhaps you should suggest these ideas when you next see your doctor.
Can you tell some more about your symptoms? Kind of hard to guess only from previous diagnoses ;)
@JoyMary Before advising TMS, please read about the pros and cons and possible complications. Patients with bipolar disorder should be very careful with it (may cause extreme mania). And it’s not without side effects, despite what promotional ads claim. The most common ones are fatigue, anxiety, headaches and some quirks with memory during the treatment. I'm not dismissing your advice, just pointing out that it’s not without price to pay.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been misdiagnosed for so long, it must be disappointing.
Maybe you could ask your doctor (or any other doctor in your hospital) to organize a multidisciplinary meeting where your case can be discussed among a team of doctors? It’s somewhat common practice in Europe for tricky cases, and some medical studies have proven that a proper diagnosis often involves the teamwork of several professionals.
Have you ruled out chronic fatigue syndrome? Your words about “falling onto a bed without a will to do anything” sound very much like it. Some doctors dismiss it as “unreal diagnosis”, but it's a real thing, and it requires some physical tests to find the root causes.
I am in the same boat. Been depressed pretty much my whole life. I’ve lost count of how many different antidepressants I’ve been on. I even tried LSD.
Therapy doesn’t really help, I’ve changed therapists about five or six times. Nothing helps. I’m only now starting to come to terms with the idea that this might be my life for the rest of my days…
@Maxus thank you. I've checked my hormones like a year ago, I've had low vitamin D, but it was because I rarely went outside at that time. Otherwise I'm pretty healthy, which is surprising to me because I don't do exercises at all and eat junk food all the time.
@Helena thank you. Yeah I had considered that and I have changed multiple psychiatrists and psychologists. My current therapist seems knowledgeable and is trying to dig deeper than others had.
There are few problems with finding the right specialist. First of all psychology isn't as developed field in my region. And second, therapists without medical education often don't consider physiological aspects of a mental health, while psychiatrists tend to do exact opposite thing. It's hard to trust those methods for me.
Sounds like you've been on a bit of a roller coaster journey, going through a diagnostic process and trying different treatments and strategies. I can see why you'd feel overwhelmed and discouraged by this.
I want to reassure you that you are not stupid, lazy or irresponsible. The symptoms you described such as periods of lack of motivation/will followed by efforts to get back on track, and the ineffectiveness of standard treatments point to this being a complex issue.
It's hard to tell what exactly it might be and give concrete recommendations without seeing the whole picture, however a few thoughts come to mind:
- Since your psychiatrist must have been evaluating your condition for a while now, it's worth trusting their inistincts about it having traits of "narcissistic swings." Personality disorders can manifest in very unique ways from person to person. The diagnosis of narcissistic swings might imply that your swings in mood and emotions are linked to changes in your sense of self, which can occure as response to criticism or disappointment.
In this case, the cause is psychological, and the best treatment is talking therapy. Therapy can help you understand your emotions better, what drives you to distrust and dislike others and possibly yourself, and then learn how to handle issues related to your self-esteem, manage your feelings better and maintain close and fulfilling relationships with others.
Even if you don't have a narcissist personality disorder, talking therapy can be beneficial. It's important to explore other treatment options beyond just medications. For example, one of the most effective approaches that can help with emotional regulations issues is dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). A therapist working in this approach can help you recognize negative thinking patters that affect emotions and behaviours and help you learn new skills to improve emotional regulation.
- Don't get too fixated on having the perfect label. Sometimes what we experience don't fit neatly into diagnostic boxes. The mix of biolgical, psychological and environmental factors may be at play. The label is less important than finding the right personalized treatment approach for you. Trying talking therapy can be a good next step in order to so.
- Consider seeking a second opinion from another psychiatrist, someone who specializes in complex, treatment-resistant conditions. It's also worth seeing your GP and request a physical exam in order to rule out conditions that have similar symptoms such as thyroid disorders.
You are clearly a self-aware person working hard to get to the bottom of it. Answers and solutions may be still out there, even though they haven't been discovered yet. Keep trying different treatment approaches, and with the right professional support I'm sure you'll find one that fits your individual needs the most.
Hi,
Feeling of no hope or willingness to do anything can make you feel so frustrated, sad, empty and this intend makes you feel completely negative about yourself. You start comparing yourself with others and this is the reason you feel you are lazy, irresponsible unlike other's you look at who are able to do their daily, routine work and motivated to do it. you feel why can't i function like them. You need to first be self compassionate towards yourself. you need to understand what are you going through.
There are lot of things to understand before a psychiatrist can decide the right diagnosis for you : you need to answer these questions in detailed by journalling so that it helps your psychiatrist too.
It could be Anhedhonia or Apathy. Both are sometimes co-related and this feeling of not being motivated, don't feel like doing anything, struggle to feel pleasure or interest in anything could also because of conditions like Bi-polar disorder, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorders. Traumatic events in the past, chronic stress could also be the reason of feeling disinterested. Challenging world event in recent years like pandemic has contributed to feeling of anhedhonia and apathy in many. It is basically lack of activity in your brain's ventral striatum which is basically pleasure centre of brain that receives, produces dopamine. Dopamine is feel good factor and when this gets affected you feel low, loose interest in doing things. Blood test also would be done to rule out any vitamin d deficiency or if you have thyroid issues.
Psychiatrist will help you through cognitive therapy where you would learn to identify underlying negative thought patterns that contribute to this feeling of losing interest in doing things. They would help you in developing positive way of thinking.
You also need to start a routine of daily exercise for atleast 20-30 min. now i know its difficult to push to do these everyday so see if you can change your mode of exercises everyday so walk one day, try yoga next day, just listen to music and work out one day, swimming , regular exercise like stretches. This will help in releasing dopamine in your body and help you feel good.
Create a gratitude list for yourself. Focus on certain positive aspects of your life everyday. you need to write down everyday atleast 2 positive things which happened today with you. This can boost your mood and motivation.