I don't have a label for my condition and that bothers me

Hello! I've been on this journey of trying to understand what's wrong with me for 5 years now. I was diagnosed with depression, then with bipolar disorder, then with avoidant personality disorder and recently my psychiatrist says that we have to shift this paradigm, because bipolar treatment doesn't work whatsoever. He suspects that I might have so called "narcissistic swings" and he says that I have to focus on getting fun social interactions. I tried that, I had fun and now I'm "depressed" again. I hesitate calling that depression, because normal depression treatment doesn't work for me. I've tried many medications and behavioral tactics, but medications most of the time does nothing and when I'm trying to change my behavior that works for 2 months at max, before I again fall onto my bed without a will to do anything for weeks or months. Then I have to start all over again and try more. It doesn't get easier for me, it gets harder, because I am losing my hope.

When my manager asks to explain why am I absent at work for a week nothing comes to my mind. I am absent because I am stupid I guess or lazy, or irresponsible. What is happening, why do I feel as though I can't control myself. I dont know.