hello i send this msg to tell abt my abuse story and also ask to people (with adhd or not, or abuse survivor as me) what to think about this person behavior:
when i met this person i was being cyberharassed by an ex friend, so naturally she was aware of my trauma.
but during 3 years she was reproducing my fears despite my boundaries and sometimes implied it wasn't her fault but her adhd, so i don't want to be ableist but some stuff didn't feel right:
-one day i was entertaining her (yep it wasn't mutual) and suddenly i had a panic attack due to my harassement, the day after (so no "adhd impulsivity" as she said but time to think) she said some rly rude stuff that i was a bother and she needed other supplies basically, she said it was that one adhd honesty, which is funny bc she occasionally lied (and also "i" made her lie) when she was abt to get caught doing something betraying. i didn't want to bother her anymore so started to vent elsewhere but she kinda tried to control my posts, making it abt her saying i was triggering her for posting i didn't feel ok, but she was allowed to post harsh stuff like "i wanna jump under a bus"
-she was a "writer", we aggreed on working together on projects, but i was the only one making everything, she said it's bc she wasn't as good as me but when she could make it abt her (even my bday!) suddenly she had ideas, it revolved always around her or even useless side characters, the few times i wrote smth for me she erased it or stole it for her, she said she had "adhd memory problems", but that's funny she remembers every details of my plot except when i said numerous times it's mine.
ok idk how long this post can be so i will remove some points š
-she defended a random person that was making me uncomfortable over me her "bff", i communicated, i thought it was fixed but she deleted my name from her bio after that, i asked if there was still smth she wanted to tell me, she reacted as if i forced her to put back my name? then will say it was misunderstanding.
-she gaslighted me occasionally, like one time i proposed plans she refused every of it, reacting as if it wasn't good, but later she proposed it and said that "last time we didn't do it because i didn't have money yk" while we actually did her more expensive activity.
-she called me jealous when i was hurt she tried to exclude me many times or from my friends (she was sharing with them her good news instead of me, and ignored my congrats and denied that) while she is the one to throw tantrum if someone got better things that her, like one time i've been congratulated for my fit and she felt inferior so the focus went back to her.
-she wasn't supportive of my good/bad moments, so i told her i wanted to be treated like her equal and later she played victim by twisting my words accusing me of saying "you talk too much about you and it's not interesting so we should only talk about me" again used the memory problems or that.
SUDDENLY I FORGOT EVERY OTHER EXAMPLES WHILE I THINK ABOUT IT EVERYDAY. so maybe i will add it in the comments.
how it ended? i finally stood up accordingly, and she used my trigger (silent treatment) to make me react "guilty", then she implied i always had been the issue for being anxious or sad and not because it was caused by her abuse, but the worst is when blocking her i saw she appropriated my own trauma to lie online.
so yeah what do you think?
