Lately, I've been feeling off. Sometimes I notice changes in my behavior—I'll feel different, like I'm not myself. I experience bouts of depression, stress, fatigue, and disinterest in things that used to excite me. It's like a mix of negative emotions swirling around inside me. I've become more emotionally fragile too; even small things can set me off, making me cry easily.
At home, it's tough. My parents constantly put me down, telling me I'm worthless, the worst person ever, and comparing me to everyone else. They expect perfection in everything I do, but no matter how much they criticize and pressure me, I seem to do worse than before. It's like a never-ending cycle of abuse. I hear more than ten insults (mostly abuses)every single day, and it's become almost normal for me to endure this verbal on slaught. But lately, even the slightest hint of criticism or yelling makes me break down in tears.
My emotions are all over the place. I struggle to feel love and happiness most of the time. My days are filled with sadness, frustration, intense anger, tears, and moments where I just feel numb. It's like I'm stuck in this whirlwind of negativity, and I don't know how to break free. I've tried everything to cope with what's going on, really. I've read up on how to reprogram my mind, tried to change my thinking patterns, but nothing seems to stick. It's like life keeps throwing insults at me, non-stop. Sometimes, I get so angry that I end up pushing away even the people who care about me. I just isolate myself and avoid talking to anyone.
Getting out of this negative cycle feels impossible. Even though my long-distance boyfriend loves me and tries his best to take care of me, I'm starting to doubt my own feelings for him. It's like my emotions are all over the place, and I don't know what to do.
Every day brings its own set of crazy situations. Whenever someone hears the full story of what I go through with my parents, they just shake their heads and say my parents must be mentally ill or something. I try to keep my distance from them, but it doesn't seem to help. Sometimes, I wish I could just sleep forever or go deaf so I wouldn't have to hear their voices anymore. I'm getting more and more irritated, and I can't stand the sound of their voices.
Being human, we're greatly influenced by our environment. It's like they say, if you're surrounded by animals, you might start acting like one too. For me, it's like living in a world of constant negativity and abuse. My self-esteem is at an all-time low, and I have little to no confidence in myself. I get really anxious around other people, and social situations make me extremely uncomfortable.
To make things even harder, I've been stuck at home for the past six years with no chance to travel or experience anything new. My life revolves around enduring these abuses, going to school, and then back home, day in and day out. It feels like there's no escape from this cycle of negativity.
Hello!
The situation you describe is very similar to the symptoms of professional burnout. It is a condition of emotional, physical and intellectual exhaustion. The most common signs are apathy, a sense of meaninglessness of what you do.
Let’s consider the way to help overcome this condition.
You can take a fresh look at your work. One simple exercise will help you do this. Set an alarm on your watch or phone and every time it rings, ask yourself the question: How much am I interested right now?
It is important that the scale on which you evaluate your interest does not start from zero, but from one: if you are unbearably bored, put one. If you like everything, reward yourself with a ten.
Every hour, take a few seconds off your daily routine, track your level of interest and return to your usual activities. Do this exercise for at least a week, and you will be surprised how your life will change.
Here is an important point: in order to actively develop in certain areas of activity, find new opportunities, be interested, you need strength, but what if it is at zero? It is important to find additional sources of energy. To do this, you can follow these steps:
1) Learn to get extra energy
Where from? We don’t have many sources of energy: sleep, food and breath. Obviously, in order to restore strength, it is necessary to adjust adequate sleep patterns and eat right.
2) Get proper rest
Rest is the most obvious way to recover. There are no universal tips like “get enough sleep”, “go to the exhibition” or “walk in the park”, because everyone has his own methods. Write down 10 favorite ways to relax and recover and practice them regularly.
3) Go in for sports
When playing sports, “happiness hormones” – endorphins – are released and, as a result, you always see changes, even if they are small. They provoke a surge of dopamine - a neurotransmitter that makes us strive for a goal and is strongly associated with the mechanism of motivation. Its bursts are felt as waves of inspiration.
4) Set yourself up for positive changes
Dopamine is produced from everything new. That’s why it’s so nice to go shopping, dream, promise yourself from Monday to start a new life or plan. That means a lot of different activities.
All these ways will help you stay productive, understand where your energy is going and recover quickly.