Feeling extremely sad this second time

Hey everyone, before you criticize me, I’d like to say I don’t want anyone to escape depression the way I did. I feel like crap, and I don’t even know why. I thought I had found the answer. My friend read about it on the dark web, that it can fix some mental issues. I’ve been having serious family problems, and I’ve had depression pretty much forever. When he brought acid tabs, I didn’t doubt for a second. The first time I tried microdosing, it was amazing and euphoric!! Was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt comforted and safe, with no anxiety, no worries. Like a warm hug for my mind. For the first time in a long time, I felt some relief from the darkness that had been consuming me. But now I’ve tried it again, twice the dose this time. And it was super weird and scary. The acid only magnified my fears and made my current depressive episode much worse. I lay in bed for seven hours, trying to get rid of hysteria and extreme self-loathing, my thoughts just kept going and going. I couldn’t think clearly. I was glad when the worst part was finally over. I feel completely exhausted. What has gone wrong? Is it about the dose, does it matter so much? I’ve read that it’s not addictive. Not like any hard drugs. My friend assured me it’ll send me on a trip of self-exploration and give me a clearer vision of what to do next. It wasn’t like that the first time, but it was a pleasant feeling. This second time was very sad. It’s inexplicable. Unless it means I somehow got physically addicted to acid the first time so that it doesn’t help me anymore? I don't know what to do now. The one thing that I thought was helping me has turned against me, and I feel trapped and even more broken than before. I don't want to be a burden to anyone, but I can't keep living like this. I'm tired of pretending that everything is okay when it's not. I just want to feel like myself again. I was promised some relief. Why did it not work the second time?