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Dr. Elisabeth Jones
1y
Specialist

Hello!

First, it is vital to understand what is real and what is your supposition in this situation. You say “I know deep down he did not understand how I felt”. How did you see that? Are you sure this is true? Let’s assume that your supposition is correct. What are you going to do next? Are you ready to be with a person who doesn’t understand your emotions? How much does this factor mean to you? One more thing. Imagine that relationship with your boyfriend will never change, it will be always the same as it is now. Are you ready to continue it like this? Very often when we start relationship we put on pink glasses and fail to see any faults or peculiarities of the partner. But one day it would be impossible to ignore them. Then these faults serve as a reason for a breakup. Surely, people change, but not all of them, not very often and not in every way. What is more important, this decision must be made by the person himself, nobody should force him to do it. In order to look at the situation from the side and make an informative decision, I suggest doing an exercise.

Take three small sheets of paper. Write down your name on the first one, the name of your partner on the second one and the phrase “outside observer” on the third one. Put them so that they form a triangle, about one meter apart from each other. First step on the sheet of paper with your name on it. Answer the following questions. “How do I feel being in relationship with … (the name of your boyfriend)? What emotions do I have towards him? What would I like to tell him right now?” Then step on the sheet of paper with your boyfriend’s name on it. Imagine that you are your boyfriend. Ask yourself the same questions, but this time they will concern you. Then proceed to the third position. Your task here is to look at the situation from the side. Answer the following questions. “What does the relationship of … and … (your names here) look like? What would I advise each of them? What are the reasonable ways of solving this situation?”. Then put these sheets of paper away and make a pause. Take a walk or do something. After a while the right decision will come into your mind.

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bubu
1y

I'm sorry for all that you have to go through, but you should realize this is not his vulnerability when it is targeted and never fails to make you feel guilty, you see all this is staged , in particular to make you feel like the wrong person, do not get manipulated or gaslit please, you don't seem to be doing anything wrong to be feeling guilty about

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