I understand whatever you are feeling from inside is your choice, and you have the right to feel what you want to dress whatever way you want, that's all you
But the deeper concern I see is you seeking validation and approval from people, and to seek that you're comparing yourself that which appearance is better for pleasing people, we all like to be looked up to and be the queen bee, but for that my love, your appearance as a man or a woman doesn't matter, someone once said, the beauty will go, the materialistic possessions will wear out but people will never ever forget how you treated and respected and valued them, you want to be that center of attention attract people with your humbleness and your kindness, your sexuality can be whatever you wish to feel that should not be anyone's concern, to be remembered and to leave a lasting impression change yourself from within, your behavior self-confidence humbleness, you will yourself see a huge change
You can feel and dress up like whatever you want my friend, but only if that's what you really want from within but if that's to be validated by people and be more liked by people then I don't think that's the right thing to do, you should know we all are in this life with our own reason and purposes, and therefore we're built differently in terms of personality, body etc, we don't need to feel suppressed we are not specifically like someone we adore, we need to appreciate that unique person, but at the same time we do not need to forget our uniqueness and beauty as as person, we should not care who's accepting us or not, we , we need to accept ourselves, and never forget no jewelry or clothing or material can ever match up to the level of your self confidence and your energy. Invest in things which aren't materialistic.
Another thing which can give you boundless confidence in yourself is acceptance and the caliber to deal with situation, let's say you cannot afford Gucci or Dior, and you have acceptance about the fact and you also have this self confidence that you as a person are way better than some person who's trying to fit in a group by just wearing those expensive attires
Hello!
You have asked several questions, let’s consider them one by one.
Let’s start with the fact that you think of yourself as a femboy. Each person strives for self-expression and for getting attention from others, that’s okay. You have chosen a rather interesting and unusual way for this - to dress up in women’s clothes, and this is your right, I certainly don’t condemn your choice. But I suggest you do one little experiment. Come up with 2-3 more ways for self-expression and implement them in life. For example, it may be creativity or some kind of hobby that you have been putting off for a long time. Also, think about how you can “steal the limelight”. For example, you can organize some kind of event at work, participate in some kind of professional or amateur competition.
After you have done all these experiments, ask yourself: “Do I still want to dress up in women’s clothes?” It may happen that you lose the desire to do it. If not, you will continue without worrying that something is wrong with you. You will have to accept the fact that you have such an unusual hobby and there is nothing wrong with it, it is just your hobby.
The second point you wrote about is mild depression. Certainly, it’s better not to mess with depression and not wait for the moment when it turns into a severe form. As a preventive measure, I suggest you find one or more hobbies that will bring you positive emotions. It can be sports, creativity, communication with friends and so on. Make a list of at least 30 activities that bring you joy and spend at least 20 minutes each day on one of them. Make daily receipt of pleasant emotions your habit and there will be no trace of depression.
Finally, the third point you wrote about is the existential crisis. People usually fall into this state when they have no goals and do not understand what they live for. Therefore, the best way to overcome the crisis is to start setting your goals. Think about what spheres you have in your life (work, friends, health, finances, etc.) and set one small goal in each of them, and then start implementing each of the goals one by one. Gradually increase the difficulty of the goals over time. Thus, moving gradually, you can achieve a lot, there will a reason to live and self-esteem will rise.
We wish you good luck!