I have a penpal friend from another country. We’ve been corresponding for about five years. He’s a single male, older than me, and has never been in a serious relationship. I very much enjoy our talks, we exchanged parcels by snail mail several times. I’m single too, and I’ve hinted many times that what we have online can become something more. He always said he wasn’t ready for online dating, that he didn’t believe long-distance relationships could work. But I’m very attached to him, we’re telling each other everything that happens in everyday life, all our sorrows and small moments.
As a “friend” I always told him to go out more often and look for his “offline girl”. I was sincerely trying to encourage him, for at times he sounds very depressed and lonely. But I was also teasing, for I had expected for a long time now that I liked him.
Now he suddenly tells me that he has started a relationship. I feel conflicted and a little bit betrayed. As a friend, I wish him well. And I think I’d like to keep in touch, he makes me smile, I feel that five years is a long time to just throw everything away. But I also can’t imagine myself reading about his new friend and feeling happy for them while I’m single. If not for the distance, I’d ask him to meet and tell him all that’s in my heart. I don’t want to do it via email or a video call. It would be very awkward.
What should I do?
