2 almost 3 months ago I met someone at a concert. Immediately, we hit it off and started going on dates. I thought we were cultivating something healthy but in actuality I was being taken advantage of. The moment things got serious, I communicated my intentions, he communicated his, and we agreed upon what we wanted to establish. Or so I thought.
Yesterday afternoon when celebrating our one month anniversary, I oversaw a Tinder notification while he had me translate Spanish for him. We were supposed to go apple picking and making cider but postponed plans because his car isn’t in safe conditions. When I respectfully approached him about it he lied to my face. Later that evening I learned from a trusted friend and their company that he was in fact, talking to other people behind my back at a convention we attended weeks ago.
My mood and trust were shot entirely. Our schedules are hectic but we make time for one another on the weekends. Usually, we spend 4-6hrs together but he left MUCH earlier than we discussed. I felt and still feel sick, disgusted and saddened. While I have enough communication skills to vocalise my upset and have initiated similar conversations before, I’m genuinely tired of people playing in my face and not giving me the same respect I extend.
Time after time, I’ve held him accountable in moments of disrespect or saying/doing something inappropriate to which he seemed receptive of. Moving forward he’s done better and has put in effort which I’m grateful for, but to play in my face and think I wouldn’t find out is crazy. I’ve already had suspicions but because I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, I wrote them off hyper vigilance even though I KNEW it wasn’t. I was in denial and overplaying my part, my mistake.
This won’t change the kindness I’ll continue giving others but I refuse to consider that a relationship with how short term it was and with that being said, September 26th really will make 2 years since I’ve been single. While I’d like to be in a relationship, it’s not a priority. I’m dissociated and struggling to process but I’ll manage. He’s been texting me acting as if everything’s all peachy but I have no intention to respond.
He didn’t respect me enough to be honest and cut ties when I first initiated the conversation of what our dynamic would look like moving forward so I won’t respect him enough to say anything. I’ve already informed him the consequence of his actions should he say or do anything to emotionally, mentally or physically hurt me and now he’s going to experience. I refuse to remain anywhere I’m not appreciated. Can’t respect my presence? Hope you enjoy my absence.
