hey, what makes you think that way? :( i'm sure you're a wonderful person with a lot to offer, and i'm sure your girlfriend sees that!
I'm pretty introverted myself and I've had similar feelings in my relationships before
When you're an overthinker like me, it's really easy to get caught up in your head about everything. I used to worry so much about what my gf was thinking or doing when she wasn't with me. The jealousy was there too
I've lost some really good connections because I let my anxiety take over. I would get so worried about everything that I'd end up pushing people away without meaning to
But you know what? These feelings are actually pretty normal. A lot of us go through this, especially when we really care about someone
What helped me was trying to focus on the good stuff. Like, when my gf shows she cares or when we have nice moments together. It's not easy, but it helps balance out all the worrying
Hang in there, okay? Things usually work out better than we expect them to
@Mike P. as an introvert, who gets easily jealous, thank you for this!
op, don't be discouraged and try to build your self-worth! i hope things get better for you! i'm here if you need to chat
Man, I feel this in my bones. Been exactly where you are. WIIILD how our brains can spin these elaborate stories out of thin air. I remember checking my ex's social media every hour, analyzing every like and comment until I drove myself crazyyy. The worst part was knowing I was being irrational but still not being able to stop. Eventually, I realized I was living in my head more than in the actual relationship. The overthinking became this constant background noise that affected everything, when did you first notice these feelings starting to affect you?
@roth same w/ me. The overthinking affected every aspect of my relationship, from casual conversations to major decisions. Looking back, I can see how much energy I wasted on these thoughts. Now, when these feelings surface, I try to remember that they're just thoughts, not reality. The brain can be our worst enemy, creating stories that have no basis in truth
Being stuck in an overthinking loop is tough. The mind can be relentless when it gets fixated on something. How often do these thoughts interfere with your daily routine?
@Holly pretty daily
@Holly yeah I’ve talked to her but sometimes there is just nothing she can do , she’s really good when it comes to helping me tho
@Holly I don’t know
@ben suttie oh no 😢 that's really challenging, dealing with these thoughts on a daily basis. Have you had the chance to talk with your girlfriend about how you're feeling?
Also, when we're caught up in overthinking, it can help to identify specific triggers or patterns. For instance, are there particular situations or times of day when these thoughts become more intense?
@ben suttie that's true, but she sounds awesome, trying to help you and all!! Our mind is our worst enemy sometimes, but the things is these thoughts are just thoughts, they are not reality. If she is with you, it means that she likes you as you are, no more and no less. You're enough just the way you are. I think it would be very helpful for you to pump up your self-confidence. What things do you like about yourself?
Try to remember that your girlfriend chose to be with you for a reason. She sees something special in you, even if you're having trouble seeing it yoursel rn. I write down the nice things that happen or the good qualities I have. It's truly that simple, but it helps when I'm feeling down about myself. Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone has their own stuff to deal with, and being aware of your feelings is actually a good first step ❤️
You know, it's completely normal to have insecurities in relationships - many of my friends go through similar feelings. But when these thoughts start affecting you daily, it might be worth exploring some strategies to manage them better
Have you considered keeping a simple journal of your thoughts? Writing down our worries helps us see patterns we might miss otherwise. Plus, it can be a way to release some of that mental pressure
Take things one day at a time. That's what I'm trying to do. I struggle with being confident, but we don't have to be perfect in order for others to like us. We don't owe 'perfect' to anyone, even ourselves
Dude, relationships can be tough sometimes. I get those moments too when everything feels like it's spinning in your head. The overthinking part especially hits home. But the best thing we can do is just step back and take a breather. When do you notice these feelings getting stronger? I usually am very jealous when my gf spends time with her group of friends
Jealousy and self-doubt are more common than you might think actually. First, try identifying the root cause of your jealousy, often it stems from past experiences or deep-seated insecurities
What you're experiencing could be related to attachment patterns formed in early relationships. It's important to understand that these feelings often stem from deeper emotional needs. Have you ever explred the origins of these insecurities? A friend of mine told me a while ago (but it stuck with me still): your worth isn't determined by your relationship status, to how others treat you, you need to love yourself first
Work on building trust with your partner through dialogue. Be patient with yourself as you work through these feelings. Take time to appreciate your own qualities and achievements. Building self-confidence takes time, but it's worth the effort
I have the exact same issues, how do you deal with it??? I feel like I'm going crazy crazy
@magician I don’t deal with it just try push it down
@ben suttie yeah, pretty much the same way I go about it. The hardest part is t believe that someone can actually be in love with me.....
It is good that you are able to identify, acknowledge the issue and wanting to work on it. This shows your level of determination to make the relationship work.
This overthinking and jealousy could be a baggage of past relationship trauma, insecurity you are feeling. When you say you are not enough for your girlfriends this indicates level of insecurity you have in your relationship. I want you to reflect on why do you feel like that? Don't you see your strength which you contribute in your relationship? write down those strengths so that it helps you in understand what you can give in for this relationship.
You should journalling where you write down each thought and assess if it is just your assumption like say when she shows his x photos it makes you feel jealous may be because you assume that she must be missing him so she is showing or it could be she can get back to him but why don't you see the other side of it. That could be she was showing just because you are aware about things happened in her life. She wants to share all the intricate details as she feels comfortable with you. It is important you start seeing positives than negatives, see the reality than assuming things. You can even ask her also like why are you showing me these photos to understand what she thinks. This will help you to be in reality than assuming which is cause of over thinking.
Practise mindfulness which will help you to focus on present than overthinking. Mindfulness will help you to pause your mind. Next time you feel jealousy or if your over thinking just pause and take a deep breath. See how does this feeling makes its presence in your body. Do you feel stiffness in your body or pain or excessive energy running . Now feel those all energy and breathe it out. do this for 5-7 min. see how does it make you feel.
Techniques like 5,4,3,2,1 helps.
Start working on boosting your self confidence, self-esteem. Jealousy is rooted in low self esteem. Engage in activities which makes you feel good about yourself than seeking validation from outside.