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Veena Choudhary
127d
Specialist

Hello,


This is a phase of relationship where the passion at beginning of the relationship starts to fade away. It is quite natural and normal. It is nothing to feel ashamed about but it is the opportunity to reflect on your relationship. It is always good to hear what your heart says but its also important that you understand the signs before calling it quits. You need to assess few things before you take decision for the future of the relationship. For that you need to evaluate the driving force or trigger behind this change of feeling:


  • Do you feel the negatives of your partner and the relationship outweighs than positive. Like do you feel like spending time alone or with your friends than planning a date with your partner.


  • When you make plan with your friends and step out with them. Back of your mind do you still think about your partner at the dinner?


  • Think about various reasons which made you fall in love with him? do you still feel those reasons exist but you no more like them?


  • Is there any other reason for love fading like any illness, his family or his friends, or your friends or family, Partner is unable to give you time like before, intimacy has reduced.


  • Were you able to always share with your partner the innermost thoughts or things you don't like about your partner or upset about anything your partner did?


  • Visualise 1 yr from now do you see a future with your partner?


  • what do you think are 5 most important qualities required in a relationship for you like love, understanding, honesty etc. think what is important for you to have a future, long relationship. Do you see this person has it?


These questions should help you answer if you feel unhappy, trapped or scared at this idea of being with him. If that is the case then do talk to your partner and honestly say what do you feel. Meaningful conversation, understanding is really important for having a relationship or for closure of it. This will help to move on without feeling any guilt.

If you feel the partner is the one for you then also you need to communicate and come up with ideas to work on this relationship. you can even go to a relationship counselor.

Mi
Mitchel
146d

Feelings change and outgrowing people is a part of life, there’s nothing wrong with that nor is it your fault. And as painful as it is, it’s better to tell the truth than to continue forcing yourself to believe a lie. The longer you withhold your feelings, the more likely you are to develop resentment and that could create more problems than needed.


I recommend taking time to sit down and reflect. Acknowledge your feelings, process them, and think of ways to communicate in a way that feels liberating for you but is respectful to your partner. Unfortunately they’re going to be hurt, and my heart goes out to you both during this challenging time, but you’ll mentally and emotionally destroy yourself holding onto something that doesn’t feel good for you.


While preparing to initiate the discussion, I also want you to consider brainstorming forms of after care you can immediately engage in post conversation. Ending a relationship is never easy and you’ll experience an array of emotions. Being good to yourself and taking things day by day may help the process feel less stressful.


Wishing you the best of luck in your endeavours!

Wi
Winnie
144d
Author

@Mitchel mitchel, thank you so much. it means a lot to me bc i've been feeling so lost and confused, and your words really helped me see things more clearly. you're right that feelings change and that it's not my fault. i've been beating myself up about this, but hearing you say that makes me feel a little better

i know you're right about being honest too. i've been so scared of hurting my partner, but i can see how keeping this inside is only making things worse. i'm going to try to find the courage to have that difficult conversation


i'm still scared about what's going to happen, but i feel a little more prepared now. thank you again for your support and understanding. it really means a lot to me during this tough time. i'm going to try to take things one day at a time, just like you suggested

Mi
Mitchel
143d

@Winnie I’m happy to hear I was able to help and provide a bit of clarity! I’m hoping everything smooths over for you soon and that it works in everyone’s favour.


it’s okay to be scared and it’s okay to be anxious. I trust that you’re strong and will get through it. Sending love and light your way!

Dy
Dylan
144d

Falling out of love is a natural part of life, my friend. It doesn't make you a bad person. Sometimes, relationships simply run their course. The important thing is to be honest with yourself and your partner. Communication is key. Take a deep breath and approach the situation with kindness and empathy. It's better to have difficult conversations now than to prolong a situation that isn't fulfilling for either of you.

Wi
Winnie
144d
Author

@Dylan thanks dylan, i really appreciate your advice. it's comforting to know that what i'm feeling isn't uncommon. i've been so caught up in my own thoughts you're right about communication being key. i've been avoiding the conversation out of fear, but i realize now that's not fair to either of us. i'm still nervous about how to approach this, but i feel a bit more confident now

do you think it's worth trying to rekindle things before having that difficult talk? i'm wondering if maybe i'm just in a temporary slump. there's still a part of me that hopes we can work through this. i guess i'm just scared of making a mistake. how do you know when it's really time to let go?

Wi
Winnie
143d
Author

@Dylan you know, i think you've hit the nail on the head. maybe we have hit a plateau. now that i think about it, we haven't really done anything exciting or new in a while. we've kind of fallen into a routine, and maybe that's what's making everything feel stale. i think i'll try to plan something fun and surprising for this weekend. who knows, maybe we just needed a little push to get out of our comfort zone. thanks for helping me see things from a different perspective. it's easy to get stuck in your own head sometimes

Wi
Winnie
143d
Author

@Dylan thank you i will definitely keep it in my mind! whatever the outcome, i'm feeling more confident rn

Dy
Dylan
144d

@Winnie I'm glad my words could offer some comfort. It's natural to feel nervous about such a big conversation. Rekindling things is certainly an option worth considering. What feels like falling out of love is actually just a relationship hitting a plateau. Try to remember what drew you to your partner in the first place. Maybe plan some special dates or try new activities together. However, be honest with yourself about your feelings throughout this process. If you find that your heart isn't in it, that's okay too. There's no definitive sign that it's time to let go, but if you consistently feel unfulfilled or like you're forcing yourself to stay, those are strong indicators.

Dy
Dylan
143d

@Winnie Your plan to shake things up sounds excellent. Sometimes, all a relationship needs is a little intentional effort to reignite that spark. As you plan your weekend surprise, think about activities that you both enjoyed early in your relationship, or perhaps something entirely new that you've both wanted to try. Remember, the goal isn't just to have a good time (although that's important too!), but to reconnect with each other on a deeper level. Use this opportunity to really engage with your partner, to listen and share. And don't put too much pressure on yourself or this one event. Rekindling a relationship is often a process, not a single moment.

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Goodboy
144d

I've never personally experienced falling out of love, but I can imagine how confusing and painful it must be. It's clear that you care about your partner and don't want to hurt them, which speaks volumes about your character. Remember to be kind to yourself as you navigate this difficult time. Sending positive thoughts your way. Is there anything specific that you think might have contributed to this change in your feelings?

Wi
Winnie
143d
Author

@Goodboy thank you for your kind words and understanding. i've been reflecting on your question, and i think there might be a few factors that have contributed to this change in my feelings. firstly, i've noticed that our communication has been lacking lately. we used to have deep, meaningful conversations, but now it feels like we're just going through the motions. i've been focusing more on my personal growth and career lately, which has made me realize that our goals and aspirations might not align as much as i thought they did


i've also been wondering if the initial excitement of a new relationship has simply worn off, and now i'm struggling to adjust to a different phase of love. despite all this, i'm trying to remain hopeful. i wonder if there's a way to reignite that spark or if it's possible to build a different, but equally meaningful, connection

Wi
Winnie
143d
Author

@Goodboy you're right. i think i've been so caught up in my own thoughts and fears that i haven't considered the possibility of working through this together. the idea of having an honest conversation with my partner is scary. maybe they've been feeling some of these things too, and we could find a way to reconnect and grow together. i'm starting to feel a glimmer of hope that perhaps this isn't the end, but rather a chance for us to evolve our relationship


i've been doing some research, and i've learned that many couples go through phases like this. some even say that working through these challenges can lead to a stronger, more mature love. i'm wondering if we could try some new activities together, or maybe even consider couples therapy to improve our communication. i'm still nervous about the outcome, but i'm feeling more optimistic about at least trying to work things out today than i did just yesterday

Wi
Winnie
143d
Author

@Goodboy thank you for your encouragement and insights. i'm feeling much more positive about the possibility of working through this with my partner. i actually want to organize a surprise for them this weekend, and maybe then we can talk about everything

Go
Goodboy
143d

@Winnie It's natural for the initial excitement to fade over time, but that doesn't necessarily mean the love is gone. Sometimes, it just transforms into a different kind of love that requires more effort and intentionality to maintain. Have you discussed these feelings with your partner? They might be feeling similar things. Relationships go through phases, and it's okay to experience doubts or changes in feelings. The key is how you address and work through these challenges together. Perhaps this could be an opportunity for both of you to reassess your relationship and potentially strengthen it

Go
Goodboy
143d

@Winnie I'm so glad that you're feeling more hopeful! Your willingness to work on your relationship shows great maturity and commitment. Every relationship goes through ups and downs. What matters is how you navigate these challenges together. How do you feel about setting aside some time to have this important conversation with your partner? Do you have any ideas about how you'd like to approach it?

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Tatti
142d

Feelings can be complicated and sometimes they change without any clear reason. Don't be too hard on yourself for feeling this way. Take some time to really reflect on what you want and need in a relationship. How long have you been feeling this way?

Wi
Winnie
142d
Author

@Tatti thank you! I don't eve know how long I've been feeling this way for. I know it might sound weird, but I really have no idea. I'm actually feeling more hopeful rn thanks to all of the comment on here

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