Good day everyone.
I really don't know what to do anymore, I am so tired.
I am a beautiful girl so I have been told plenty times by numerous people yet I don't see it or feel it.
I am skinny, not so bad skinny but skinny nevertheless. People always says I am too skinny and I need to add weight which I agree with.
But the moment someone says oh you have added weight I find myself doing relentless exercise.
My stomach flat but for me it's not enough, it can't get flatter than that but I still find myself critising.
My sister is on the bigger side, she doesn't have flat stomach but she doesn't care, she loves herself like that.
I moved to a new city to stay with my sister who is in college. The whole place different. I see girls ten times bigger than me yet they wear crop tops and smile happily.
I can't wear a crop top with thinking my stomach is big which is not.
I can't control these thoughts no matter how hard I try neither can I control the automatic exercise that follows. My sister says she will beat me up if she catches me doing exercise because I am already too skinny.
It's so bad I can't take pictures or do videos like other girls because I will watch that video or stare at the picture over and over again feeling like my hands are long, my legs are too skinny, I don't have flesh.
But the frustration is that the moment I add a little weight, food loses appeal and exercise is my new friend.
I want to add weight but I feel even if I did I won't still love the way I look.
How can I do stop this, I want to feel good and take picture without worrying or deleting them.
I just want to feel that I am beautiful, I am tired of hearing people say it and not believing it myself.
How do i do that? š
