As a personal trainer, I've seen many clients struggle with body image A LOT. You need to understand that health isn't about being skinny or having a flat stomach. It's about feeling strong, energetic, and confident in your own skin. Instead of focusing on losing weight or getting flatter, why not set performance goals? Try lifting weights, running a 5K, jumping higher. These achievements can boost your confidence and shift your focus from appearance to capability. Also, remember that bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and that's beautiful. Diversity is what makes our world interesting! Have you ever tried strength training? It can be incredibly empowering!
@pamela I have never tried strength training neither do I know what it means.
@DESIREE I'm glad you asked! It focuses on using resistance to build muscle strength, endurance and size. You can do it at home with bodyweight exercises or small dumbbells too. It's really great in shifting your focus away from your appearance to your ability. You'll be amazed at what your body can do! It also improves overall health (including mental health, btw). The goal is to feel good and strong, not to change your appearance!
@FunnyName I understand your concerns. As a trainer, I can assure you that most of us are there to help and support, not to judge. We became trainers because we're passionate about helping people improve their health and achieve their goals. In fact, many trainers have their own stories of transformation and understand the challenges firsthand. Remember, everyone at the gym is on their own fitness journey, and most people are too focused on their own workouts to pay attention to others. If you're still feeling anxious, consider starting with off-peak hours when the gym is less crowded. You could also bring a friend for moral support or look for gyms that cater to beginners or have a more diverse clientele. Another option is to start with home workouts to build confidence before transitioning to the gym. The most important thing is to focus on your own progress and remember that you're taking a positive step for your health. Every time you work out, you're getting stronger both physically and mentally
@pamela As a bigger person, I've always felt self-conscious about going to the gym. The thought of walking into a room full of fit people and potentially being judged by trainers has always been intimidating. I've struggled with my weight for years, the idea of exercising in public makes me feel so exposed. 😭😭😭😭
I worry about people staring or making comments, even if it's just in their heads. The fear of being the "fat person" at the gym has held me back from taking steps towards a healthier lifestyle for so long
@pamela Thank you for your understanding and encouragement. It's reassuring that trainers are there to support rather than judge. I appreciate your suggestions about starting during off-peak hours or bringing a friend
I've tried home workouts before, but I often struggle with motivation and consistency when exercising alone. Do you have any tips for staying motivated with home workouts? 🥹
I'm still nervous about taking that first step, but your words have given me a bit more courage. It's just hard to shake off years of negative self-talk and societal pressure
I've learned that life's too short to waste time worrying about how we look. Your body is a vessel for your beautiful soul, and that's what truly matters. Start volunteering. It's a wonderful way to gain perspective and feel good about yourself.
@jamieschaefer.2 volunteering for what exactly?
SAMEEEEE!! I'm always so hard on myself and my friends say I have no reason to worry, but I still look for flaws. I'm on the thicker side myself so I hide behind oversized sweaters all the time (yes even when it's super hot outside). I am sick and tired of that insecurities..A lot of my friends who are on a thicker side as me have learned to embrace themselves, but me well...I'm just me. I look at them with such admiration and respect, but I can't apply this attitude towards myself
I don't know how to get out of this..and the thing is I don't wanna exercise or eat less. I don't wish I was slimmer because I know my self-esteem isn't something that is dependent on a scale, but it's in my brain and I don't know how to fix this
@loverrr
Well from me to you I just want to say that even if you were slimmer I doubt you would feel different because I have added and lost weight yet it feels the same.
It's something we have to work on in our minds. I still have no idea how to do that, but I hope you find a way soon.
I'm a dancer and I've had my fair share of body image struggles. It's tough when you're constantly looking at yourself in mirrors and comparing yourself to others
But you know what? Every body is a dancer's body if it's dancing! The same goes for life, every body is beautiful because it's living, breathing, experiencing the world. Try focusing on how you feel when you move, not how you look
Dance, stretch, walk and really feel your body working, appreciate it.
And those photos and videos are capturing moments of your life, not just your appearance
I'm curious, what kind of movement makes you feel most alive? Is it dancing/stretching/walking?
@_fox I only dance when I am in a good mood. I don't stretch but walking is another different story.
When I am walking, it's like I am in my own world. I tune people out and I start talking to myself, creating different scene for whatever book I am working on at that moment.
Lots of people have told me they thought I was mad when they first saw me because I was always walking by myself, and talking to myself.
I usually laugh that off.
I love walking a lot, the feeling of the wind as it breeze past me, the way my feet move on the ground, the way my hands dance back and forth as move or the way my hips sway along with the wind.
Walking, and talking to myself brings me utter peace. It brings me joy.
@_fox
It's mostly novels I write.
So when I am walking I imagine a random scene like maybe my MC in a club or at school just something that happens and I begin to talk to myself like I am the main character
I talk as the main character then I reply as the other person too. Its funny really.
But it's effective for me to create my scene.
Sometimes they are cohesive, I think about the next chapter of the book I am working on at that moment, and new ideas comes then I start talking then boom I have two chapters ready 😅😅😅
Sometimes they are shirt stories too. Those ones involve what I would have love my life to be like or how I would act if a certain something happens.
Or sometimes I reply what has happened and turn my reaction into something different.
It's really fun though.
And tuning out the world is very dangerous when walking on the rest, I can't begin to tell you how many times I almost got run over but well I can't stop 😅😅
@DESIREE I love how you described your walking experience. Its such a beautiful and peaceful moment for you. That's exactly what I'm talking about when I say to focus on how you feel!
It's amazing that you've found this way to connect with yourself and your creativity. Walking and talking to yourself isn't mad at all, it's a form of self-expression and self-care for you
You know, when you talked about the wind, your feet moving, your hands dancing, your hips swaying, it reminded me of dance. Even if you're not formally dancing, your body is moving in a way that brings you joy. That's what matters most
I think it's wonderful that you can tune out the world and dive into your own, that's some special gift!
I'm curious, what kind of stories do you create when you're on your walks? Are they cohesive with each other or more like short stories each time?
First off, let me just say that you're amazing and beautiful inside and out. 🌟 It's so hard when our brains tell us things that aren't true, but we believe them anyway. Your worth isn't tied to your weight or how you look in a crop top
Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. Would you tell them they're ugly or pathetic? No way! Speaking of your best friends, it's great that you have your sister's support. 👯♀️ Lean on her when you're feeling down. We need others to remind us of our awesomeness
And hey, it's okay to take breaks from social media if it's making you feel bad. 📵 Remember, most of those perfect pics are edited anyways! Baby steps, okay? Start by taking one picture a day and finding one thing you like about it. It doesn't have to be perfect
You've got this, girl! 💖
P.S. Don't forget to give yourself a big hug today. You deserve it! 🤗💕
@Keyla Keyla thank you for the advice butt if I should treat myself like I treat my best friend its nothing different though.
If she looks ugly I will straight up tell her she looks ugly but I also tell her her good parts to.
I don't ever sugar coat things that is the main reason I don't have friends.
You perfectly described my reality lately..... I hate myself for the smallest things and just don't know how to stop 😭 Girl, I'm sure you are gorgeous and there is no reason to be so hard on yourself!!!!
@Olivia right back at ya.
I am sure you are gorgeous and amazing so no need to hate your self.
We really need to give ourself a break don't ya think?
In my family, everyone makes fun of me for being too thin. I have tried to gain weight, but I just can't seem to do it. It's frustrating and hurtful when people comment on our bodies. It's great that you recognize these thoughts aren't healthy. That's the first step towards making a change. Your sister seems to care about you a lot, hold on to her
If you're afraid of being judged, know that anyone judging another person's body is not worthy of your attention. Those girls you see wearing crop tops with confidence? They're not thinking about how others look, they're just living their lives and enjoying themselves, but I do understand where you're coming from. I always wear big shirts to cover up myself
@YONA oh, so i'm not alone in this. my family makes fun of me too, calling me names, but i am healthy. it's just how my body is. i've tried to explain to them that everyone's body is different, but they don't seem to get it. it's really hard to deal with sometimes, especially when we're all together for family events. i find myself dreading those gatherings because i know the comments are coming. i've tried to talk to my parents about how it makes me feel, but they brush it off as just joking around. i know they love me, but they don't understand how much their words hurt. i've started to avoid mirrors and photos because i don't want to see myself and think about what they might say
@YONA i try to stick close to the family members who don't make comments about my body and i try to practice some positive self-talk before i go, reminding myself that i'm worthy and beautiful just as i am. it doesn't always work, but it helps a little. another thing i've started doing is changing the subject when body talk comes up. i'll quickly ask about someone's job or bring up a funny story. surprisingly, it helps deflect some of the attention
@YONA i think we should stand up for ourselves. we could try to have one-on-one conversations with the family members we're closest to, explaining how harmful body shaming can be. i've also been thinking about talking to a counselor about this. sometimes it helps to have an outside perspective. you know it's been so helpful talking to you about this. it makes me feel less alone and more empowered to make changes as you can see. i am so motivated to talk about this with my folks
@arlene campbell I'm so sorry you're going through this too. I've also tried to explain to my family that their comments hurt, but they just don't seem to understand. They think they're being helpful or funny, but it's just damaging. I've started to dread family gatherings too. I wish there was a way to make them understand how much their words affect us. I've been considering writing them a letter, where I roast them heavily, but I'm a bit scared of their reaction (LOL). It's so hard to find the courage to stand up for ourselves, isn't it?
@arlene campbell Those are all such great ideas! I love the positive self-talk strategy. I'm definitely going to try that before the next family gathering. I haven't really tried changing the subject before, but that sounds like a smart way to handle it. I usually just try to laugh it off or ignore it, but that doesn't really help in the long run. I have an aunt who's always been kind to me, so I think I'll make a point of spending more time with her at these events
I've never struggled with body image issues myself, but I can imagine it's not easy.
I think it's awesome that you're in a new city now. That's a big change! And it's cool that you're noticing how confident other people are, even if they don't look like what magazines say is 'perfect'
I wonder what would happen if you tried to be as kind to yourself as you probably are to your friends. Like, if your best friend said she felt ugly, what would you tell her? I bet you'd have lots of nice things to say!
It's okay to want to be healthy, but it sounds like you might be taking it a bit too far. There's nothing wrong with exercise, but it shouldn't make you feel bad or stressed out.
I think it's great that you want to feel beautiful. Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves. Maybe you could try doing things that make you feel good on the inside? Like helping others or doing something you're really good at?
What do you think makes someone truly beautiful? Is it just how they look or is it something more?
@BookWorm
I think that being beautiful is a choice and that you have to love yourself to be able to feel beautiful.
how? cut down on social media. I'm only on snapchat now, though it stupid and time-consuming as hell. we don't really need all of it, better off without this noise
@martur.1996 ummmm
Social media doesn't really affect me like that because when I scroll I most read books from other authors or I am watching hot guys dance.
I don't waste my time looking at other girls.
Plus social media is also where I post my stories too. I have a page and fans I can't just cut them off.
That won't work with me. I can barely breathe if I havent posted a chapter.
@Tay I really don't do that to myself.
I don't let social media affect me like that. Of anything social media has been more of a good influence than bad in my life.
I learnt to write better, I have a page there that actually people like and adore my stories.
My feed is not filled with unhealthy things that makes me feel bad no it isnt.
It's my daily life Nd the people around me that makes me feel the way I do.
Not the Internet.
@martur.1996 That's so true! We spend too much of our time scrolling and comparing ourselves to others without even realizing it. I used to be on insta a lot but then I started to notice how bad it was making me feel about myself. I'd see all these perfect pictures and think why don't I look like that? And why isn't my life as exciting? It was really messing with my head so I decided to try and cut back and I'm not kidding, but after a while, I started to feel better. Tht craazyyy what social media actually does to our brains
I have suffered from ED my whole life, please don't put yourself through this! You already have the first signs you need to fight right here and right now! Focus on nourishing your body rather than restricting it. Out bodies need food. Yes, they need movement too, but it all should be in moderation
I don't usually talk about how I deal with self-hating periods, bc it's really personal for me, but I kno you need help and I'll be happy if my advice helps just a little bit. Every time I start to notice that I'm eating less and restricting myself again, I try to appreciate what my body can do. I write something like: "My legs carried me through a fun day with friends" or "My arms hugged my grandma today."
This really helps me to put things in perspective. Why do we hate our perfectly functioning bodies when some people don't have the privilege to do these things? I encourage you to try it every time (and I mean really EVERY TIME) you feel bad about yourself
@LuLu
I will try this thank you for this.
I haveng thought of this before.
The feeling of disliking our appearance is very common but you can learn how to love yourself.
First prime most important thing is to understand from where and how are the feelings being triggered. You should also maintain a journal where you write down all your feelings. you should introspect about these thoughts. Now Question your thoughts by asking:
Understanding the root cause of the fear will help you.
i know its hard but if you put it a practice to be compassionate towards you then it will just be a routine or automated behaviour. Anything to learn in life and to master it requires practise so just understand that and inculcate this habit of being positive towards you, start seeing goodness in you, start feeling proud of how you look, celebrate it. Look in the mirror and praise one attribute of how you look e.g my nose is sharp and i love it. you need to notice and start praising it to be confident about yourself. repeat one attribute 10 times with confidence looking in the mirror. Keep doing this for few weeks.
You need to start challenging your thoughts by reframing it and doing it. If you talk negative about yourself then you would continue to feel that and be stuck in the negative loop hole. Instead start talking positive and notice how do you feel everyday. it is all about reframing the words and questioning yourself so what if i become fat what would change, how would life change i put on? will if affect me? how will it affect me? This way you challenge yourself by questioning what if or so what. this will give you the strength and confidence to do it.