My 5-year-old son has extreme separation anxiety issues, and I’m at a loss what to do. We had a really hard time making him sleep in his on crib when he was 1.5 y.o. It cost us lots of sleepless nights and honestly many doubts. Now things got much better within our own house, he seems to be self-assured and happy when his father or I am around. But we have problems with preschool activities. Every morning when I drop him off at preschool, he clings to me tightly, tears streaming down his face, begging me not to leave. It's a scene that plays out day after day, and each time it feels like a knife to my heart. His teacher told me that after I leave he sits quietly and cries for half an hour. We had to pull him out of the swimming class because apparently he didn’t like his coach. I tried to wait for him outside with other parents, but it didn’t help, he just won’t go into the class anymore. Several times we caught him lying about being sick to stay home, he had to admit that his stomach was all right and he just wished to be with his mommy. I feel like I'm failing him somehow, like I should be able to make it all better, but no matter what we try, his anxiety persists. My partner is working full-time, and I’m trying to return to full-time work after years of part-time from home. We both are a little bit tired and out of ideas. We need to be able to hire a nanny for our son, and we want to have some time for ourselves, at least occasionally. All the times I asked friends or relatives to babysit for several hours, it was a fiasco. When my best friend, who is extremely good with kids, was left home with him for the evening, he locked himself in the bathroom with our cat and wouldn’t come out until I returned. I couldn’t even be angry at him for the cat, because he looked so forlorn and sad. And he knows my friend, she visited us millions of times, and he talks to her normally when I’m with him. We asked his preschool teacher what to do about it, she said this can happen at his age and that it will eventually pass, but gave no other advice but stay firm.
So my questions are:
1) Has anyone else dealt with this, and can you share some tips?
2) Do you think it's worth it to see a therapist? We’ve tried it once when our son was 3 years old and he seemed to feel uncomfortable with her. Like all kids, he’s somewhat scared of doctors and anything related.
(Thanks in advance)
