You won’t get pity from me, man. I’d only like to show you one logical fallacy in it all – your last statement. If you really think isolation and self-hatred are your best option now, you’re very wrong. Addictions only thrive in isolation and shame.
I strongly recommend that you start somewhere. For example, by going into a Twelve Steps treatment program for sexual addiction. If you aren’t ready to start a program, commit to going to Sexual Addicts Anonymous.
If you’ve recovered from drugs addiction, why don’t you think you can do the same with your other addiction? The treatment is essentially the same, except that with drugs you’re supposed to give them up altogether, while with sex you just need to re-establish a goof pattern of sexual behaviors without stopping entirely.
I’m very sorry that you feel your doctors were unhelpful. Though from your post I understand that you’ve been able to get off the drugs with their help… Anyway, you should have been told that one of the crucial aspects of any recovery is being gentle with yourself. It's okay to make mistakes in life. What's important is that you continue to work towards healing. You sound like you’ve already given up, maybe because of your financial situation. I can’t help with that, but I want you to know that one cure you can give to yourself is incredible forgiveness. You’re capable of controlling it. You’re feeling low now, and it may seem hopeless, but it’s not. You're not denying your addiction anymore. You've recognized it - it's a start. :) Now reach out for professional help, don't let it control you any longer.
@potassiumKNO3 These half-measures never help, if you know what I mean. I need an inpatient program but it’s too costly.
@NoMansSky Are you a doctor? Do you even know what you’re talking about?
@stephen in space No, I’m not. Perhaps you know that sex addiction has not yet been studied well, so I know just as much as scientists. Most studies are about porn addiction, which is just the tip of the iceberg. However, it is believed that sexual activities stimulate the brain's reward system similar to various drugs. Thus, there are similarities in treating these two addictions.
Has your depression medication included only antidepressants? I’ve read in some bipolar thread that mood stabilizers are sometimes added to the mix, as they somehow decrease compulsive sexual urges. AFAIK people with bipolar have issues with hypersexuality.
@fido_oblivion Antidepressants and therapy, as I’ve written in my post. I don’t know anything about mood stabilizer nor do I want any more meds in my life.
@stephen in space Even if you don't think it can work for you, you should try it. Seeing and speaking to other people who also have this condition will help you feel less shame. You must connect with people in order to fight this. And I mean connect non-sexually, on deeper levels.
Hey, listen, you sound a bit defensive, and I can see why. You’ve been disappointed in therapy and your divorce was likely very traumatic. Still there are always solutions available, and you seem to know of something that should help you. If you’re completely sure that only inpatient treatment will be effective for you, you can focus solely on saving up money for it. I realize it’s bad advice taking into account that you mentioned some debts… Yet don't lose hope. I’m sure you can do some things. For instance, identify areas where you can cut back on spending to free up more money to put towards paying off your debts. Depending on what kind of debts you’ve accumulated, you could also think of consolidating your debts into a single loan with a lower interest rate, that might make it easier to manage and pay it off. I’m just a random internet stranger, so you’re not entitled to listen to me, but please seek financial counseling. If you commit to improving your overall financial health it’ll be so much easier to cope with mental health afterwards.
Navigating the challenges of sex addiction can be daunting, It can be over whelming and isolating too. But it is very important for you to find the root cause of your depression. You have to understand first what was your drive towards sex initially and what is it till date. Therapist would be the right person to help you understand this. There are various support organisation and non profit organisation like SAMSHA or association of sex addicts trauma specialists or SAA recovery who do it for free.
Right now what is important is you acknowledging the fact you have problem with it and you are typing this message asking for help instead of calling sex line. This is already your step towards helping you and not expecting any pity.
Sexual addiction recovery takes a longer time. Many adjustments will need to be made in order to overcome it. Remember in this path You have just engaged into an unhealthy behaviour which can always be worked upon. Do not let this behaviour determine your character or you and self demean you. This unhealthy behaviour can become healthy and this behaviour can be forgiven. The very fact that you have spoken out here means you are now determined to help yourself from this behaviour. You have said here that This type of sex is not healthy.This show there is an internal compass in you which knows what is right and what is wrong. Only if you understand this you can help yourself. For your recovery you need to stop internalised negative feelings about you. Words like hate will stop your path for recovery. understand such words, remorse, guilt are tied more to your sense of self than to your sex addiction behaviour. This sense of self was shaped based on your early life history rooted in because of family, surroundings and other aspects. But this sense of self will only pull you more further down into depression and isolation. Internalisation of this negative feelings will lead to believe that you are not worth the effort of recovery, you have no control over your behaviour, you don't deserve to be healthy, happy and free from this addiction. You deserve to be happy too so it is just time to forgive and correct your behaviour.