A Heartfelt Thank You to the Feel You Community: A Journey of Hope and Transformation

Dear Feel You Community,

As I sit here, pouring my heart out onto this screen, I am overcome with emotions that words alone cannot adequately express. The journey I have traveled in the presence of this remarkable community has been nothing short of transformative. From the depths of despair to a place of hope, from loneliness to a sense of belonging, you have been my guiding light, my pillars of strength, and my unwavering support.

Not too long ago, I found myself in the deepest, darkest corners of my soul. The weight of discovering my true sexual orientation and the subsequent rejection and hostility from my own family had shattered my world. I was lost, drowning in fear, and contemplating an unthinkable end. But then, in my darkest hour, I reached out to this community—a community that would change the trajectory of my life forever.

To each and every one of you who took the time to read my posts, who poured out your hearts in the comments, who shared your own stories of struggle and triumph, I want you to know that you saved me. Your words of encouragement, your empathy, and your unwavering support reached across the digital space and touched the depths of my soul. In that moment, I realized I was not alone. I found solace in your kindness, strength in your understanding, and hope in your shared experiences.

To the visionary minds behind Feel You, I am forever grateful. You have created a platform that goes far beyond the ordinary—a sanctuary where individuals from all walks of life can find solace, understanding, and connection. Through your creation, you have given me a lifeline, a virtual family, and the courage to choose life when all seemed lost. The impact of your vision cannot be understated, for it has saved lives, mended broken spirits, and ignited a spark of change that will forever burn bright.

There is a misconception I would like to address, one that arose from my recent post. Some of you believed that I had left Uganda in search of safety and sanctuary in a foreign land. While relocation was suggested to me by various organizations, including the remarkable Trevor Project, I made the difficult decision to stay. You see, my purpose, my calling, lies within Uganda itself. I want to be a catalyst for lasting change within my own country. I want to stand tall and be a beacon of hope for those who face similar struggles and discrimination. My aim is to make a difference, not only for the LGBTQ+ community, but for anyone who experiences discrimination based on disability, race, politics, religion, gender, or any other factor that sets them apart. It will be an uphill battle, but with the unwavering support of this incredible community, I know we can overcome any obstacles that come our way, step by step.

In the midst of my tumultuous journey, there is one person I must acknowledge—a dear friend who has provided me with a safe haven amidst the storm. Just a few days ago, I mustered the courage to reveal my truth to him. I expected rejection, judgment, and misunderstanding. But instead, something miraculous happened. He listened, truly listened, with an open heart and an open mind. And as he absorbed the comments and stories shared by this community, something shifted within him. He began to understand the depth of my pain, the magnitude of my challenges. This newfound acceptance from someone I thought would never comprehend my experiences has made this one of the most bittersweet moments of my life. I am grateful for his transformation, for his unwavering support, and for reminding me that change is possible, even in the unlikeliest of places.

In my previous post, I neglected to outline how those who are willing to support my cause can help. For those who prefer to contribute through Air Funding, I have included a fundraising link at the bottom of this message. If international transfers like Western Union are more suitable, please kindly email me at hankjayden168@gmail.com for further details. I am also open to any suggestions or advice from the members of my newfound family, for I am a 21-year-old Ugandan who has much to learn. Your guidance and support are invaluable on this journey of ours.

To the organizations I reached out to, including the Trevor Project, Amnesty International, BBC, Al Jazeera, CNN, France 24, International Rescue Committee, and others, I must be honest and say that the support I received did not meet my expectations. While I understand that these organizations have their own boundaries and limitations, it is the Feel You community that has provided me with the comfort, strength, and hope that I needed. You have shown me that true support knows no boundaries and transcends distance.

If I am successful in my ambitions to bring about change through my project, I will not need to hire advisors, for I have found the best advisors within the Feel You community. You have saved my life and helped me discover my purpose. Your wisdom and guidancewill be my compass as I navigate uncharted waters. Together, we can make a difference that resonates far beyond our individual experiences.

Closing my eyes, I can feel the profound impact each of you has had on my life. My biological family may have turned their backs on me, but I have found a new family—the Feel You family. In your invisible presence, your collective love and support radiate through the depths of my being. You have transformed my despair into determination, my hopelessness into a burning desire to create change. With your unwavering support, I will continue to fight for a world that embraces diversity, compassion, and equality.

As I conclude this letter, I want to express my gratitude once again, from the depths of my soul. Thank you for being the light that guided me through my darkest moments. Thank you for reminding me that there is strength in vulnerability, beauty in authenticity, and hope in the face of adversity. Together, we are forging a path towards a brighter future—a future where love triumphs over hate, where acceptance eclipses discrimination, and where every individual can live their truth without fear.

With profound gratitude and an unyielding spirit.

Everyone talks about the loneliness that comes with being single but never the loneliness that comes with bettering yourself. I’ve been in therapy and support workshops for 2 years, doing self-help exercises and practicing self care for just as long, and so much more. I stopped self-harming, chose sobriety, started eating healthier, keep myself hydrated, picked up boxing, and really began pursuing my passions more adamantly.

Post escaping an abusive relationship and taking legal action against my assailant, it opened my eyes to how unappreciative I was of life and that I took everything for granted because I assumed it would always be there. Near end 2022 whooped my ass, but spending the rest of that year actively seeking professional help for myself was the best choice made because today I’m so grateful for everything, especially the little things.

The only setback is, it’s lonely. I want to better myself, for myself before others, but finding like minded people is difficult. Not everyone is ready to confront their traumas and do the work to heal themselves, and that’s okay, but it makes socialising unbearable. I understand that receiving professional help is also a privilege, but where I’m at in my journey, I only want to associate with others travelling the road to recovery.

I don’t want any relation- or friendship built off trauma bonds or people trauma dumping on each other. I don’t want to be around people who gossip, anyone dealing with extreme insecurities or projection issues, people with victim mentalities or superiority complexes. I just want to find a mutually supportive connection where we can learn from and educate one another. I’d like to befriend someone who’s just as open-minded, knowledge-seeking, courageous and driven.

It sucks because sometimes, there are people who’ll purposefully attempt to sabotage you because they don’t like the light you have. They don’t like that you’re bettering yourself because they lack the courage to better themselves and project that onto to you. I’ve experienced it firsthand and everything in between which really has me cool off socialising and encouraged me to be more career-focused.

I don’t have a problem with being alone; I’m an introvert and prefer to hold space with myself. I also don’t mind feeling isolated half the time. Sometimes it’s been to be alone and isolated, but every now and then I wish I had someone I could call a friend.

When you enter a spiritual program of recovery (ie sobriety, therapy, etc) it becomes increasingly easier to discern who hates themselves just by observing the way in which they interact with others, how they navigate conflict or how they speak. Recent statistics show that loneliness, depression and anxiety among the upcoming generation is at an all time and I can’t help but blame the unhealthy expectations society has surrounding relationships and what “self love” is.

Self love is more than physical acts of self care. Self love CAN be treating yourself to a pedicure, because it’s an act that feels good and is taking care of your body (in a way), but what about your mental and emotional health? Loving yourself entails so much more than spa days. It’s recognising your mental and emotional capacity to engage in certain things, it’s listening to your body and taking breaks when needed. It’s setting boundaries and asserting them if crossed. It’s giving yourself grace in moments you can’t remain grounded and understanding you’re a work in progress.

Social media has created the misconception that if you’re not spending stupendous amounts of money on physical acts of self care then it’s not self love, which is WRONG. Self love looks different for everyone but I know the general concept is to pour back into yourself.

For myself personally, self love is just that. Loving my mind, body, heart and soul. It’s keeping myself hydrated and getting 8hrs of rest every night. It’s walking away from anything that doesn’t have my best interest and being protective of my energy. It’s being kind to myself and others as I navigate life’s challenges. Acts of self care contribute to the love I have for myself, and they’re done through frugal means because I don’t feel the need to live outside my means.

A lot of this generation is obsessed with the idea of LOOKING rich in wealth when the REAL wealth is being mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually prosperous. By NO means is it easy to achieve when living in a materialistic world, but every day is a good day to start unlearning a lot of the misinformation we had instilled in us.

Everyone wants to experience a healthy relationship but refuse to do the work to achieve it. It’s challenging, it’s uncomfortable, and everything in between, but if you want better then you have to work toward becoming better. Resources are available and should be utilised if made accessible.

With me being a year almost 2 into therapy and support workshops, I’ve made notable exponential progress and I’m proud of myself for it. I understand everyone’s circumstances are differences and mine can’t account for theirs, but it’s about willpower and discipline. The support groups and other professional resources I’m receiving have helped make navigating tribulations easier, and developing better discernment, it’s protected me from universe knows what.

Being a knowledge-seeker and actively taking the time to unlearn a lot of the toxic things I was either taught, have done, or spewed puts me a step closer to being the version of myself I strive to become and I love it, but I hate how society continues to feed the upcoming generation bullshit that’s negatively impacting them.

Hi all, can I please talk about the sense of inferiority. For clarity, therapy has been a constant in my life for several years on and off, but it’s only recently that I’ve come to realize that my biggest setback in life is my constant never-ending feeling of shame. We explored self-esteem and self-worth with my therapist, but somehow it didn’t resonate with me. I understood what she was telling me about myself intellectually, but couldn’t give a name to my feeling. Now I know its name is shame and it is toxic and deeply rooted. In particular, my therapist has been trying to untangle my codependency issues. I’m always needy for approval and validation from others. I think it’s my attempt to fill the void of worthlessness that shame has created within me. So I was constantly seeking approval from my parents, partners, and friends… It was not about loneliness.

I realize now that shame has been the invisible barrier preventing me from living a fulfilling life. It has held me back from pursuing my dreams, forming meaningful relationships, and truly loving myself. I can’t even look in the mirror without thinking something mean and self-critical. Many of my life decisions and especially my avoidance were driven by shame when I went into spirals of self-loathing. For example, I could ignore a friend’s message for a day. Then I’d start feeling guilty about not answering, and also feeling awkward that I should have answered before, and now it’s not the right timing. A week would pass in such feelings, then a month, and then I’d realize I’ve lost another friend out of stupidity.

It’s so difficult to be proud of my success and my accomplishments. I feel vulnerable, as if feeling joy will instantly erase my success, like being happy is not for me. I cried a little this morning because of my ugly mind that always makes me think I’m flawed. I know I should try finding fulfillment from within, but it’s the hardest thing. Right now I’m feeling low, exposed and judged. All I want is to hide from the world and from myself.