Post
Mi
Mitchel
1y ago

Loss of Love and Loved One

Yesterday I was confronted with unexpected, devastating news of a loved one passing away from Lupus and it’s weighing heavy on me. I spent the morning journaling my thoughts and feelings but now I’m internally spiralling because I’m worried that could be me any day with me battling ailments of my own. I try not to think or verbalise it because I don’t want to worry others or accidentally speak anything on myself, but every day, in the back of my mind it scares me. It scares the hell out of me that any moment can be my last. While I have faith I’ll be okay for the time being, nothing’s set in stone.


Knowing this, it’s the reason I try to remain kind in every interaction had. It’s why I try to forgive and respond to things with compassion opposed to aggression. I want to leave a positive impact on someone, doesn’t matter how big or small. There’s already so much negativity in the world and kindness costs nothing. Universe forbid any malicious force prospers against me, but if anything happens today or tomorrow I can at least know I lived every day in a way that felt good to me; giving back to my community and others while trying to recover.


I wish I could speak with someone other than my therapist and physicians about my frustrations. There’s so much happening in my life I don’t publicly speak on but just because I’m resilient people don’t understand, someone being able to carry something doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy. Venting about my annoyances alleviate some of the heaviness, but taking action does me one better. There’s nothing I can do other than stay hopeful and that’s what I intend to do, but I’m being mindful in the process.

Je
Jen
1y

Oh gosh I’m so sorry. Are you talking about that man you wrote about recently who had some intimate issues?

I can't even imagine how tough it must be to deal with it so suddenly. My heart goes out to you.

xy
xyanaInSpace
1y

I think it's normal to feel scared about what the future holds, especially when faced with such heavy emotions. But I’m sure you’re going to be all right. No one knows how much time is given to us, and there’s no point ruminating or worrying about it, because this is not something we can control.

I sincerely admire your commitment to kindness and compassion. Seriously, it’s cool. I noticed that you’re a very polite and positive person, it’s not that common. Please know it's okay to talk to someone about what you're going through. You don't have to face these feelings alone, even if you believe others think you’re resilient. It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes. I think your loved ones will actually appreciate it if you share your burdens as a sign of trust. Thank you for sharing with us!

Yo
YosBeats
1y

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. I lost someone just before Christmas so I know how you’re feeling, all these ideas about my own mortality got to me too... I don’t know what’s your stance on religion. My sister’s husband is a priest, talking to him clears my head like nothing else. I don’t think kindness costs nothing. If you believe in karma, you know that all your actions and intentions affect your life and any future lives. All we can do is trust that the universe has our backs.

Take care of yourself. Right now you need lots of sleep and fresh air.

Ka
Kajalla
1y

Hi, my condolences. Coping with grief is hard, but it's great that you're trying to direct your energy into something good. Sometimes the key to being kind to others is being kind to yourself first. I hope you keep that in mind.

Hugs!

Se
Secret for now
1y

Compassion and love can make our world a better place, thanks for being part of the process! I wish you to overcome all your ailments so that sad thoughts won’t have any more power over you.

It’s very rare to use one’s fear of death as motivation to live a better life. Hopefully, this kind of mindset will help you cherish the present moment and make the most of your time on Earth :) And I hope life will be kind to you in response and will reflect your values and aspirations.

Mi
Mitchel
1y
Author

@Jen Fortunately not, however I broke things off because he has a lot happening in his life that’s preventing him from being consistent. I was overextending myself to accommodate his situation because I tried to be understanding but recently learned he was cheating on me, so I’m stepping back from relationships entirely hence the “loss of love” portion of this post. But I do appreciate the sentiment, thank you.❤️

Mi
Mitchel
1y
Author

@Kajalla thank you for your words of encouragement, I appreciate them so much. As much as it pains me, I can’t let life slip away; grieving and letting opportunities pass me by. I’m scared, but I refuse to let it hinder me.

Mi
Mitchel
1y
Author

@Secret for now This put a smile on my face, thank you so much. I really do appreciate this, truly. The persistent fear in the back of my mind is my main motivator for living every day like it’s my last, being kinder to myself and others is just to really show the gratitude I have for the smaller things.

Mi
Mitchel
1y
Author

@YosBeats Thank you for your words of encouragement, and I send condolences to you also. I’m not religious but I am spiritual and strongly believe in karma. Karma aside, kindness costs nothing, and a little bit of kindness is all we need to help our days go easier. The good I do is because I wanna be apart of something greater, something with a positive impact. Not because I want it to come back to me, but it does feel good when it happens.

Mi
Mitchel
1y
Author

@xyanaInSpace I wasn’t expecting to get teary-eyed reading this but your words really touched me, thank you for making my morning. Most of the time I vent my grievances anonymously through mental health platforms, virtual support workshops and therapy if not my journal and drawing my emotions. I know there’s people who love and care about me, I’m surrounded by them every day and I’m so grateful to have that network, but for me personally there’s certain things I keep to myself. Not with malicious intent but because I believe it’s okay to not share EVERY thing about yourself, doesn’t matter how close a person is to someone.


Regardless, this genuinely put a smile on my face and I appreciate it. I hope you’re as kind and thoughtful when speaking to yourself as you are to me and presumably others. Sending good vibes your way.🎈

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