Confidence is a tricky thing. It can be built up over years, only to be shaken by a single moment of doubt. I've seen people from all walks of life struggle with self-confidence, and what I've learned is that it's often the most perfect, beautiful and talented people that are concerned with themselves for not being good enough. You are more than enough. I can see that you’re a good human being and it’s more than enough. Keep being you, you don’t need to change
@summeryundt64 I wholeheartedly agree with you. Self-confidence can definitely be complex and fragile. It's often those who appear the most accomplished and capable who struggle the most with self-doubt. You are absolutely right that many talented, beautiful, and kind people are their own harshest critics. I genuinely believe that being a good human being is far more important than superficial attributes. It's easy to become fixated on what we lack or where we fall short, but it's essential to recognize and celebrate our strengths
@West Coast I kinda disagree and agree at the same time haha. Self-confidence, in my experience, is not always linked to the level of accomplishment or capability a person has. Many people who are highly successful have built their confidence through their achievements and have learned to manage self-doubt effectively. Conversely, there are those who may not have reached the same level of success but possess a strong sense of self-worth and confidence. I think it’s important to recognize that confidence can be nurtured and developed through various experiences, and isn't solely dependent on one's accomplishments or external validation. It's cool to celebrate our strengths, but if we don't have many it doesn't mean that we can't be confident
@gru I completely agree with you that self-confidence is not solely based on external accomplishments or validation. While achieving successes and accomplishments can certainly contribute to building self-confidence, it's not the only factor that plays a role. Confidence can be developed and nurtured through a variety of experiences, ranging from personal growth and learning, to overcoming challenges and facing fears. It's important to recognize that everyone's path to confidence may be different, and it's possible to develop a strong sense of self-worth without necessarily having a long list of impressive achievements.
First off, I wanna say that it takes a lot of guts to open up about this stuff. Kudos to you. You mentioned you work out and dress well, which is already a big step. Physical fitness and looking good can boost your confidence, but it seems like the issue is more internal for you. Have you ever considered journaling? It’s a bit old-school, but it helps, sometimes instantly. Social confidence comes with practice. You say you talk to people without ego, which is fantastic. But maybe try to deepen some of those interactions. Find common interests or hobbies. Geeking out over shared passions can build stronger bonds and make you feel more connected.
Public speaking and performing in crowds can be nerve-wracking for a lot of people. Have you tried practicing in front of a mirror or recording yourself? It's a bit cringey at first and might make you feel uncomfortable, but it can really help you become more aware of your body language and vocal delivery. There are also groups like Toastmasters International that focus specifically on developing public speaking skills. Joining an organization like that could provide you with a structured way to improve, they offer regular opportunities to practice and receive constructive feedback from others. Additionally, it’s a great way to meet people who are also working on their public speaking abilities, allowing you to learn from each other and build confidence together.
Hi, I just wanted to say that I completely understand where you are coming from. I have suffered from an eating disorder for as long as I can remember and my self esteem has suffered drastically because of it. I was constantly not thin enough, beautiful enough, muscular enough. I was always chasing an ideal that seemed impossible to catch up with. It was like running in a race where the finish line kept moving further away. I tried so many different diets and workout routines, hoping that each new one would be the magic solution. But no matter what I did, I always felt like I was falling short. I would look in the mirror and only see flaws. It didn't matter how much weight I lost or how toned I became. I never felt good enough.
Social situations were especially hard. I would become nervous and anxious, convinced that everyone else could see my insecurities. I felt like I was wearing a mask, pretending to be confident when inside, I was anything but. It didn't help that I also felt lonely, like I didn't have any close friends who truly understood me. The loneliness only made my self-esteem issues worse. It was exhausting to keep up this facade. I wanted so badly to be happy and content with myself, but I didn't know how. I would compare myself to others, thinking they had it all together while I was falling apart.
What helped me start to improve was seeking help. I reached out to a therapist who specialized in eating disorders and self esteem issues. It made a huge difference. I learned that it's okay to not be okay all the time. It's okay to have moments of weakness and self-doubt. What's important is how we respond to those moments.
I want you to know that you're not alone in feeling that way. It doesn't make you any less valuable or worthy of love and friendship. Keep seeking out the help and support you need and don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Thank you for sharing your story.
it's great that you take care of yourself and make an effort to look good and stay fit. those are important steps and it shows that you care about yourself. feeling lonely and like you don't have close friends is tough. it's like you're surrounded by people but still feel alone. that can really affect your confidence. it's okay to feel nervous in crowds or to struggle with new habits. we all have things that hold us back and it's part of being human.
you mentioned that your presence doesn't make a difference, but i want to tell you that you do matter. sometimes it's hard to see our own value, but it doesn't mean it's not there. you're making an effort to improve yourself and that's a big deal. it's not easy to face these feelings and you're doing it.
if you ever want to talk or need someone to listen, i'm here. sometimes just having someone to share your thoughts with can help.
Oh honey, it sounds like you’re the whole package, but you’re just missing the gift wrap! 🎁 You’re fit, you’re stylish, and you’re friendly – seriously, what’s not to love? Feeling lonely and like your presence doesn’t make a difference? That’s the sneaky little voice in your head trying to play tricks on you. Spoiler alert: YOU DO MATTER. 🌟 And crowds? They’re scary for everyone, trust me. It’s like, “Why are all these people staring at me?!”
Changing diets and making big lifestyle changes can be tough. But you know what? It’s okay to take baby steps. Celebrate the little victories. And about those close friends, they’re out there, probably looking for someone just like you. You’re awesome just the way you are. Maybe the world just needs to catch up and see it. Keep being you, because you’re pretty fantastic. 🌈
Over the years, I've learned that true confidence comes from within, not from external validation. It's wonderful that you take care of your appearance and engage with others, but it's also important to nurture your inner self. When I felt low, I found that focusing on my strengths and accomplishments helped. Take a moment to reflect on the things you’ve achieved, no matter how small they may seem. Celebrate those victories.
I've struggled with low self-confidence for as long as I can remember. I put on a brave face, dress well, and try to engage with people, but deep down, I always feel like I'm not good enough. There's a constant voice in my head telling me that I don't belong, that I'm just pretending to be someone I'm not. I see others with their groups of friends, and it makes me feel so isolated. I can relate to the feeling of being nervous in front of a crowd. I remember once, during a school presentation, my hands were shaking so badly that I could barely hold my notes. My voice trembled, and I felt like everyone could see right through me. It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life. Since then, I've avoided public speaking as much as possible, but the fear never really goes away. I wish I had more answers for you, but all I can offer is this. You’re not alone!
okay, let's get real. you work out and dress well, so clearly you care about your appearance. that's a good start. but confidence isn't just about how you look. it's about how you feel inside. if you're feeling lonely, maybe it's time to put yourself out there more. join clubs or groups that interest you. maybe take a class or volunteer. it's easier to make friends when you share common interests. about performing in crowds, practice makes perfect. start small, maybe with a few friends, and gradually build up. you won't overcome it overnight, but you will get better. as for the diet, it sounds like you're setting yourself up for failure with "bad changes." instead, make small, manageable adjustments. swap out one unhealthy food for a healthier option. don't try to change everything at once. it's overwhelming and sets you up for failure. no one is perfect.
You have a perfect foundation to build on. It's important to remember that confidence isn't about being perfect, it's about accepting yourself as you are. We all have moments of doubt and insecurity, but they don't define us. Try to focus on your strengths and the things you enjoy. Surround yourself with positive influences, whether it's uplifting music, inspiring books, or supportive people. Practice speaking kindly to yourself. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, try to reframe those thoughts in a positive light. It's also okay to feel lonely sometimes. Everyone does. But remember, your presence does make a difference, even if you don't always see it.
Hi,
You need to identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself which is pulling your morale, confidence down. You need to write down these thoughts in a journal and ask yourself when did you start thinking all these thoughts, write down all these thoughts. later question are these thoughts real or your assumptions. then start writing positive against these negative thoughts.
Start writing 3 positives about you everyday with substantial details of how did you exhibit this positive trait. This will boost you.
Now for nervousness to perform in crowd:
You need to reconnect with yourself. first is to accept your authentic self. but now if you have a trouble understanding who you are then start asking yourself
what is the prime most important in your life,
when did you start feeling your confidence had come down, was there any situation in life which led to low confidence,
what stops you from making friends,
when you say my presence doesn't make a difference is it your assumption or someone has told you this?
answering this will help you with your confidence and what is stopping you from it.
You say you talk to every people then why not use that to your advantage to make close friends. why not invite few people to your house or plan something outside to create a bond. you need to grab the opportunity. you can even join some clubs where you can meet more people and interact.
You should also chart down a small achievable goal for everyday like inviting 2-3 people at your home, presenting in front of atleast 10 people and then slowly gradually moving to higher gatherings. you also should make a list of what according to you is the better version of yourself "anjana 1.0" and see how you can achieve it without overburdening yourself. like said key is here small achievable task would help you.
@Veena Choudhary hi Veena... Thanku so much for ur reply..it means a lot.. practice in front of mirror or video i will definitely try to implement.. i have to think of writing positive about me I almost forgot what are my positive traits.. i am always running between my 3 kids and my husband always picks on my negatives and things I forgot to do... I need to re analysis myself on my +ves.... thanks for ur insightful reply of urs... Recently i found i like writing very much expressing my self in the paper..i will come up with my new version...