I struggle a lot with laziness. It's holding me back in life and I don't know how to overcome it. I see my friends getting ahead, doing amazing things. And here I am, stuck in the same place, not doing much at all. I wake up late almost every day. When I finally get up, I just feel tired and unmotivated. I often find myself procrastinating and leaving tasks until the last minute. This just adds to my stress and makes me feel even more lazy. My family and friends tell me I have potential, but I don't feel it. I know I need to change my habits, but it's so hard. I start things with good intentions, but I quickly lose interest and give up. It's frustrating. I want to go back to school and finish my degree, but the thought of studying and exams scares me. I want to get fit, but I can't seem to stick to any exercise routine. I want to save money, but I end up spending it on things I don't need. How do I find the motivation to get up and do things? How do I build better habits and break the cycle of laziness?

I’m not choosing to struggle because of presumed hyper independence, I’m choosing to struggle because people will do things at their own pace which could inconvenience me. I’m not choosing to struggle because I think it’s a “flex”, I’m choosing to struggle because I hate people trying to throw things back in my face.

From the second I began making my own money and opened a saving’s account, I’ve done anything and everything I can to lessen the amount of help I have to ask if my birth giver because she’s a shitty person. While it’s become somewhat more tolerable thanks to therapy and support workshops, but sometimes I find myself briefly irritated when she tries to provoke a reaction out of me.

To the normal person with a healthy relationship with relatives, having a “loved one” offer you rides to work or to bring you food might sound sweet, but when your parent is an ableist, transphobic, racist, self-disparaging piece of shit, it’s different. People who pretend to care and extend aid only to throw it back in your face are the worst, and that’s the exact type of woman my conceiver is.

She screams and yells over trivial shit, purposefully provokes reactions out of me then gaslights me whenever I call her out. In the past when I was younger, most of altercations escalated to physical violence and my hospitalisations because she would beat me bloody and in retaliation I would attempt to kill her. But now as an adult with coping mechanisms, professional help and improving emotional regulation, I do my best to disregard her or practice self help tools in those moments.

I don’t want to struggle because I’ve struggled all my life, I want to find peace and stability. However living in an environment with one of your abusers and occasionally being forced to interact with their enablers, it’s exhausting. I want to go no contact at my earliest convenience so I can change all of my information and tell her as well as my other relatives to get fucked.

I feel like everyone has money but me. I'm 17 years old, and it feels like my life is already over. Everywhere I look, people have everything they want … their new clothes, gadgets, dream vacations. Meanwhile, I can barely afford to buy lunch lmao ... It’s so depressing. My parents aren't rich. In fact, we're quite poor. I see my friends getting new stuff all the time, and it just makes me feel worse. They don't have to worry about anything, and I'm stuck worrying about everything. Sometimes, I just want to scream. Why is life so unfair? Why do I have to struggle while others get everything handed to them? It feels like I'm never going to get out of poverty. I try to stay positive, but it's so hard. I feel like I'm drowning. Every day is a constant reminder of what I don't have. No one understands what I'm going through.

I hate feeling this way. I want to have a better life, but it seems impossible. Every time I think I might catch a break, something else goes wrong and we need money we don’t have. It’s like life is playing a cruel joke on me. I wish my parents had more money. I wish I didn't have to worry about every little thing.

I have ADHD and I've been told that people with ADHD often struggle with compulsive behavior, which I can definitely relate to. I hate that this part of my condition holds me back from becoming the person I want to be. To combat these urges, I've had to delete my social media, quit drinking, and am currently battling a gambling addiction that is the only thing that brings me any joy.

Since the passing of my mother, things have gotten even worse. I feel lonely, as I'm an introvert and often isolate myself from others because I find it hard to deal with the emotions of those around me. I feel like I've borrowed so much money to gamble that I'm a burden to those around me, and I'm tired of having to constantly rebuild my life. I feel like I'm not worthy of a better life and that I'm a lost cause.