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Th
TheFourthFox
1y ago

My success story

I just want to share everything that helped me on my journey (fighting anxiety and depression), in the hope someone with similar issues will read this and get inspired.

I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression basically since school, but I first visited a therapist only when I was 34. I guess I reached that point in my life when it was “fight or die” stage. My anxiety was so severe I could barely leave my appartment let alone make it to a psychiatrist’s. I had to reschedule my first sessions and postponed them for almost 3 weeks, until my anxiety to get a rejection was higher than the horror of attending. People who have never been in my shoes do not understand that all the good and reasonable suggestions to eat healthy food, do exercises and sleep well are simply irrelevant when you can barely get out of bed. These things are definitely correct, but they won’t lift you up by themselves when your body is deficient of all the good things and your mind is reeling with thoughts “you’ll never get better”. I regret that I avoided medication and getting diagnosed for so long, just because I believed it was giving up. It’s right the opposite: when you’re a misfunctioning hopeless human being, you’re giving up! When you find the strengths to ask for help, you’re making steps towards healing. I’ve been taking medications ever since and see a psychologist regularly. I found a job that suits my needs, after a year of guilty procrastination. My social life has improved so much that I can actually meet new people and am making first tentative efforts to get back to good physical state.

Here’re some crucial changes that immensely helped me after I’ve started therapy:

* Hybrid work, which later turned to contract work. I’ve been stuck in that duality thniking that there’s either a full-time office job or no job, and nothing else can pay my bills. That’s such a ton of bullshit! A stressful job is your one-way ticket to burnout, panic attacks, and depression. You are not your job, don’t waste your health on it.

* Very strict diet. I don’t mean avoid junk food. I mean, forget about snacks, coffee, sugary stuff, and alcohol. I went gluten-free, and I believe it made a difference. This may sound like depriving yourself of the joys of food. Trust me, if you have problems with your gut (and 90% of people with mental health problems do), all your other attempts will get nowhere until you fix your gut. Everything is interconnected in the body.

* Forget about all social networks and all news outlets, except messengers (focused communication). The world is not your problem, until you solve your own problems.

* Nature and animals. Again, the first advice for people fighting social anxiety is to find friends, to socialize more... When your battery is super low, you won’t find the energy to connect with people. And they won’t have any idea what’s happening in your life, so social situations may only get you down and increase your feelings of anxiety and “loser moments”. I began my journey to inner harmony with reading books on human brain, depression and healthy habits. I have no beaches or mountains nearby, so I went out of my way to drive to the nearest wilderness every weekend. I had to make myself do it the first few times, but now it’s a habit, and it motivated me to start cycling. Most importantly, it helped me find my way to me, and stop worrying about lacking something, like relationships, etc.

To sum up, the journey out of complete darkness is dead hard. But everyone can do it, starting with professional help. Thanks for reading!

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Minor Sage
1y

If you miss mountains or wilderness next to your door, move to Norway, mate! Plenty of that here. :) Just joking. Seriously, I suppose Scandinavians cope with loneliness and depression better because we live in less populated countries and spend more time in nature. Where big city folks choose partying, we prefer climbing. That doesn’t cure social anxiety though, which is more or less a national trait of character.

99
99uwu66
1y

Congratulations on your personal success! I believe everything is good in moderation. Your advice to avoid social networks seems reasonable, yet I wouldn’t think that social isolation is good for everyone. As a social worker, I have to deal with people in hard life situations daily. Some of them are regulars, and I get a glimpse of their progress (or otherwise). In my experience, people recover faster when there is someone in their life, even if it’s a humble social worker or a group of volunteers who listen and let people feel their feelings but do it in a friendly environment.

To
Tommy J.
1y

Thanks for sharing! What books on anxiety can you recommend?

la
lack_of_faith
1y

Exactly what you say about getting professional help! I feel robbed of so many years, because of my fears of pills. Should have read less articles about Big Pharma conspiracy theories…

sa
sarah2
1y

What prompted you to go gluten-free? Is it difficult, time-wise? In my experience, keto diet can positively affect mental state. It’s very popular now, almost the new trend. I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone, but for me the transition was rather painless, as I’m not into sweet foods anyway.

sh
shagrot-pev
1y

Thanks for taking the time to share this. Can relate to a lot of what you've said about nature vs relationships. I’m still hiding in a cave from all things social, but stories like this make me hopeful I’ll be able to shine soon.

sh
shy_guy
1y

I guess every success story is different. I’m among those who would actually recommend more socializing to a depressed person… I literally met my wife on one of mental health forums, so my desire to connect with people online paid threefold. I second your suggetion about job! Freelance was my way out of financial instability due to health issues.

scarlet rose
1y

Thanks for posting this! My anxiety is still strong, and your story gave me some ideas on what to do next, I appreciate that you took the time to formulate and write down your experiences.

lo
lonely john
1y

I agree with the relationships part. I also struggled with trying to be “normally social” for a while, and it only fueled my anxiety. It’s like we put too much pressure on ourselves about things that should come to life naturally, and not enough pressure about things we can really change!

me
meant2b
1y

Yeah, what you say about getting medical help is true, but try to find a sane therapist first! My first two only said “meh” to all my complaints. When my current doc prescribed me a pile of vitamins, I almost cried. I knew that my body needed help, not only my mind. But most doctors won’t do tests, unless you insist. I couldn’t believe there was so much energy inside of me again, after a decade of constant tiredness.

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A continuation of my sad story of a lost childhood

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