I hope you're all doing well. I'm reaching out today because I need some help and advice. I've been struggling with accepting the mistakes I've made in my life

To give you some context, I made some poor decisions in my early twenties. I dropped out of college, thinking I could make it on my own without a degree. I tried to start a business, but it failed miserably, leaving me in a lot of debt. I also hurt some people who were very close to me. One of my best friends stopped talking to me because I broke their trust. I regret these decisions every single day.

Now, in my thirties, I still carry the weight of those mistakes. I managed to go back to school and get my degree, but I feel like I'm always playing catch-up. My career is not where I imagined it would be, and I feel like I'm constantly trying to prove myself. Every time I look back, I feel like I wasted so many opportunities.

I also feel like a bad person because of the relationships I damaged. I was insecure and thought everyone was against me so I just stopped talking to a lot of good people that cared for me.

Sometimes, I find myself avoiding situations where I might make mistakes again. This means I miss out on new opportunities because I'm too scared of failing. I’,m avoiding people because I’m afraid I'll fail them again. I don't want to live like this anymore. I want to learn from my past and be a better person, but I don't know where to start.

I try to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes, even those who seem to have everything together. I know that making mistakes is part of being human, but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept my own.

By all accords I'm having a terrific life. A model student since kindergarten all the way to campus. I got my dream course (mechanical Engineering) and I'm involved in quite a number of engineering projects.

My mother a single mom, singlehandedly raised my brother and I with a little help from relatives. She is really gaining on me making a great career out of my life. And by all markers, I'm almost there.

However, from an early age I've always wanted to be a girl. For so long I dismissed it as fantasy, until I broke down last semester. I couldn't study. I missed classes and a CAT. All I could think of was my gender dysphoria. How badly I wanted to be feminine and how impossible it was on all levels. Living in Kenya, social transition was several magnitudes scarier. I fear strangers. I fear I might loose friends and family. I fear disappointing my mother and giving her heartache. She's a very conservative christian. I wouldn't want to betray her investment. I tried getting in touch with LGBTQ organizations but only two seem to be active and to date I'm yet to get any meaningful help. I've thought of transition medically in secret through hrt, but our medical system does not recognize trans people and there's virtually no way of accessing the medication. Even if I could, I doubt I'd afford them . It seems like all paths are closed. And yet, I'm here. With another break down. Unable to move forward till I did something about my dysphoria. To me the future seems bleak. All roads leading to my ultimate suffering, as I suffer now. I think of death sometimes but I wouldn't say I'm suicidal.

Me and piku were in a 13 years relationship of long distance where he became the most eternal part of my life. We gave each other all that is needed for a strong bond and love. We did had fights and misunderstandings but these moments made us inseparable. He is still in every breath of mine. But tomorrow, will be his one month engagement to other girl. His words were that his parents did not agree to our inter caste marriage so he said yes for his marriage to another girl. His this action has broken me into pieces. I am unable to breath clearly. His separation is making me feel worthless and horrible every second of my life. I do want to live for my parents and family but this is being the biggest shock of my life and i cannot bare the pain. I am still praying tongod to send him back everytime and also feeling pity at the same time that why I brought him so close to me, gave him myself completely and is now feeling him everywhere around me. Friends family suggested me to block him, delete his pictures, chat everything, but i know if I do it now, I will be spineless when I will need him emotionally. I do know that girl might be superb for her in every aspect,they might fall in true love, but the thought of him loving other girl is killing me. I was not at all the same woman when we were in relationship. I was the most rigid one and very flexible to the situation. I did tell him so many times to end this relationship and did stay quite far to let him go and explore his life, but that time he did come back many times, he even ended our breakup by proposing me on a phone call after being selected as an officer. Now I feel the table has turned, I have become the seeker and he as the strongest man on this earth without any feelings or emotions for me. Right now, I am just in a situation to punish and hate myself for everything I have done to my life. I pray good for him but still waiting...

Hi I am suffering from low confidence level. I don't know why? I love to be fit i work out . I carry myself in a appropriate way.. i m very particular about my dressing to match occasions all I do.. i talk to every people I come across without ego but somewhere bottom of my heart i feel I don't have any close friend I feel lonely from inside. My presence doesn't make any difference.. i became nervouse to perform in the crowd...i m unable to achieve bad changes like following a new diet etc...i don't know what is holding me back.. Can someone help me in improving myself to a better version.. thankyou so much