First, let me say that I'm genuinely sorry to hear what you're going through. It incredibly tough. It might be helpful to focus on the reality of the situation. His decision, as painful as it is, was influenced by factors beyond your control, like his parents' disapproval. You can't change other people's choices, but you can control how you respond to them. While it might seem impossible now, consider what steps you can take to rebuild your life independently. Ask yourself what you need to do to regain a sense of self and purpose outside of this relationship. What activities or goals can you pursue that might bring you fulfillment? And while it might seem cold, sometimes the most logical approach is to focus on what you can control and let go of what you can't.
@abelhyatt447 the terrible situation for me is he is everywhere in my life... Everything has always been ours...nothing is working at all... My academic, my daily routine including exercises walk, even my dream house, everything was with him. I am feeling him everywhere...thats is why I am completely lost right now
@neha pandey Give yourself the grace to feel this pain because it is very real.
You mentioned that everything in your life was shared with him, from your daily routine to your dreams. It will take time to adjust to a life where those shared experiences are now memories. But remember, you are a strong person. You have the power to create new routines and dreams. Start smaller. Maybe focus on one part of your day that you can reclaim as your own. It could be as simple as taking a walk in a new place, make it place your own.
It's understandable to feel like you've lost a part of yourself, but remember, you still have you. The person who loved, cared and invested so much in this relationship is still there. That person can now invest that love and care into herself.
It's truly heartbreaking to invest so much love and time into someone only to have it end in such a painful way.It's natural to feel the way you do, given the intensity of your connection over 13 years. Have you considered writing him a letter, not necessarily to send, but to express everything you feel?Sometimes pouring your heart out on paper can provide some solace, even if he never reads it. And remember, it's okay to grieve and feel broken; it's part of the healing process. Life can be incredibly unfair, but you have an inner strength that will guide you through this darkness. Stay strong, and know that your pain is valid, but so is the hope that one day, you will find peace again.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. It reallly painful, and it's clear you invested a lot into this relationship. It's important to recognize that his actions are not a reflection of your worth. People make choices based on their circumstances, and often, those choices are out of our control. Have you thought about what you want for your future, separate from him? It might be helpful to start thinking about new goals or passions that can provide a sense of direction and purpose. It's also worth considering the aspects of your life that bring you joy and fulfillment. By focusing on these elements, you can begin to rebuild your sense of self and find a new path forward. Remember, this is just one chapter in your life, and there are many more to come.
My heart aches for you, and I want you to know that your feelings are completely valid. Have you ever considered what brings you peace or comfort outside of this relationship? Maybe there's a hobby, a place, or even a person who can offer you some solace. It's important to remember that healing is a journey, and it's okay to take small steps. You don't have to have it all figured out right now. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve and heal. You are worthy of love and happiness, and in time, you will find your way back to yourself.
@RealTalkRachel i am lucky to have supportive friends and family but he is also my family. Any activity any hobby is pushing me more towards him. And i am unable to help it at all
@RealTalkRachel the only thing which I can absorb from my friends saying is that" Cry how much you want, it's ok to cry". Rest everything they are saying is just acting as tangent. Right now I am not in a state to hear anything good about me, bad about him Or anything encouraging..i am just willing to sit, yell and cry. One of my friend also asked me to leave everything on God, and I have always been a person who was not so religious. Now I think if I trust God then he will never accept me Or my prayers.
@BrightFuture I wanted to say the same thing and add that it's crucial to surround yourself with supportive people during this time. Friends, family can provide the emotional support OP needs to navigate through this painful experience. Additionally, engaging in self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or journaling can help her process her emotions. There is no right or wrong way to heal. Take it one day at a time, and be kind to yourself.
@neha pandey It's okay to feel shattered and lost right now. Heartbreak is one of the most challenging human experiences, and it's important to allow yourself to grieve. Cry if you need to, write down your feelings, or talk to someone you trust. These are all healthy ways to process your emotions. It's also important to remember that your worth is not defined by this relationship or its end. You are a whole and valuable person on your own. Sometimes, life takes us on unexpected paths, and while it may not seem like it now, this experience can lead to new growth and self-discovery.
I know it feels impossible to imagine a future without him, but with time, the pain will lessen. I’m here for you, and so are your loved ones. What has been the most comforting thing anyone has said or done for you during this time?
@neha pandey I agree with you friends. Give yourself permission to feel everything you're feeling without judgment. Healing takes time, there is no rush. One day at a time, you will find your way through this. Hold on to the small moments of comfort and let them guide you forward. Let God guide you forward. When you are feeling down, try to remember the words of support and encouragement said by your friends.
oh dear, my heart breaks for you. i'm so sorry you're going through this. it's so hard when someone you've loved for so long and so deeply suddenly isn't there anymore. you're right to feel every bit of pain and sorrow, it shows how much love you have in you. but please, don't let this define your worth. you are so much more than this relationship. while it's tempting to keep everything related to him, maybe just try to set it aside for now. not forever, just until you can breathe a bit easier. sending you all the love and strength in the world.
Love can be so complicated and losing someone you care about deeply is just gut-wrenching. It's clear you had something really special with him, and the pain you're feeling now is totally understandable. But remember, life is full of ups and downs. Embrace this pain as a sign of how deeply you loved, but also try to see a future where this hurt doesn't control you.
What were your dreams and goals before this relationship? Maybe it's time to reconnect with those. Personal growth and looking ahead can sometimes help you find a bit of hope even in the darkest moments. The end of this chapter doesn't mean the end of your story. You've got more pages to write, and there's still so much ahead for you.
That's rough. I feel for you, seriously. Long-distance is tough, and it sounds like you guys had something real. I get why you're holding on, but maybe it's time to think about what you need right now. Not him, you. What's gonna make you feel a bit better today? Doesn't have to be big, maybe just something small that makes you smile. And yeah, it sucks thinking about him with someone else, but try focusing on what you got out of this relationship. What did it teach you? How did it make you stronger? Sometimes reflecting on that can help shift your perspective. Hang in there, and take it one day at a time. You got this 💜
Thank you everyone for your kind and supportive words.. ❤
This is really tough, no doubt about it. But let's get real for a second: you can't control his actions or his family’s decisions. What you can control is how you respond to this situation. It might sound harsh, but it's time to focus on you. Think about what makes you happy, what drives you. Maybe it's time to reconnect with old friends, travel, or even just take a weekend to pamper yourself. Self-love is crucial right now. Don’t let this define your future. You've got the power to turn this pain into something positive. It's your life, take the reins.
Your story resonates deeply with me. It's so hard to let go of someone who has been such a crucial part of your life. I think one way to cope might be to allow yourself to grieve fully. Cry when you need to, scream if it helps. Embrace the emotions rather than suppressing them. It's like a storm you have to weather, but after the storm, the sky eventually clears. It's okay to feel broken now. Healing takes time, and you will get through this.
Hi,
Breakups are painful and grieving. Right now you may feel lost, broken, or feel you won't find a relationship like that again. Pray for sign of hope that he comes back.
Right now it is important you process your emotions, grief.
One of the hardest part of long relationship is letting go. You were so attached to him for this long that sudden distance makes you just think about him. It would make you doubt that wish i was like this or like that in the relationship. i had planned so much with him but everything is destroyed now. Now that the person has moved on for the reason of his own you need to find your own reasons for survival and moving on. i understand such situation may make us think what if he breaks up with her and comes back. It is painful to accept the hard truth that he is engaged based on his reasoning and now you need to explore your reasons. Dont force yourself to forget him that will eventually happen as time pass by. just accept those memories and tell yourself ya i had good time and yes he was good to me but now it is not so let me accept this and move on. start doing activities which you loved doing but have stopped to distract your mind ruminating about him.
Talk to an empty chair imagining him sitting there, letting everything out that’s on your mind and expressing everything you feel like sadness, anger, frustration. cry your heart out and it is normal to do it. This is done so that you can process your emotions and get a clarity. it is also done to get closure and to speak various things which you have not been able to express to him.
You can also write in journal how you are feeling. write specifically about break up like did he honestly tell you pre-hand that he would be engaged? what did you express to him? what changed in you after he got engaged? how long will you wait for him? if he comes back after marriage will you still accept him? where is your stand in this process like how he decided to take a stand for himself and his family.
Love yourself. Make a list of things you love in you. right now you may be having hard time and you will only be blaming yourself for everything and accusing yourself for getting close to him but understand this is you and your strength and traits define you as a person. This is the real you and you cant change that for anyone. so don't blame yourself but just see that may be he wasn't meant for you. you gave your best for this relationship and now its time you just embrace your these strengths.
There may be tempting moments when you miss the relationship and put your ex on a pedestal. However, every relationship has it's good and bad sides. Make lists of what you liked and disliked in your past relationship. Ask yourself: what core needs weren’t met? What would you like to be different? This reflection can help you gain insight for future relationships.
It might not seem like this right now, but the pain won't last forever. With time, it will pass, gifting you new knowledge about yourself that you can bring into your future.
Treat yourself with compassion. if your best friend was in the same situation how you would have helped them out, what advice you would have given to them. j
It takes time to heal and recover. But just be patient with yourself.