this friend can go for long without talking to me (it's fine) the problem is when they come back it's not sincere at all, sending stuff like "i hope you're doing well.." "i called you bc i wanted to ask about you" it makes you feel wanted when you don't know but i know, i know. IT'S ALWAYS A DAMN LIE, because when i answer and then ask about them, they don't even care to react about what i said, they just waited for their turn to talk, even if i share i'm struggling she will just talk about herself and ask for favors like wow how selfish. i rather have someone say hey i need a hear, rather fake concern to get my attention. it's crazy because she expect from me stuff she is not even able to provide herself in a friendship, and it's not moving mountains it's bare minimum: not ignoring your bestie.
the convo then revolves into 19492 different message about her sometimes ON LOOP and i don't even get engagement in just one of my sentence.
one time she even said "i'm sending you all my rant because i have no one to talk to" and not because i wanna talk to you, when you are used you know the difference.
it happened many times and i already told her i felt hurt by not being listened, she kinda twisted my intentions which bothered me, like i asked same level reciprocity she implied she should erase herself for me to exist wtf i never asked that. and you know it's just the way she is and you can't teach and beg people to act right. so now i give less availability for her whims, i also have stronger boundaries but next time should i be more selfish? like when she ask about me well i will indeed talk about me and that's all, no asking back until i get the same amount of attention, the fact i have to demand to be treated like an equal is crazy. but yk what even if i ask about me i'm sure the only replies will be "ugh like ME ME ME ME ME"
the same way she is always like "i rly want to buy you stuff" and she never, why saying this then if you are not going to do it? she knows i always refuse because i don't want her to spend money because she struggles, and i would always feel like abusing her kindness, so she plays on this and i understood she says that only to be seen as kind without actually having to do it, well next time i should say yes go on buy it, if you really want to gift someone something you shouldn't ask them :)
also instead of making clear demands she would make insunations "i wish i could draw this idea i have" she knows i draw and i always proposed myself like this it doesn't look like she is asking too much. well now i will play dumb not giving her what she wants if she can't be mature. i will reply oh but you can, like this it's also encouraging.
i alway have the emotional labor. she just like how i make her feel, not myself.
the way she criticizes these behaviors in anyone else but reroduce it on me?? the hypocrisy she def knows it's just that she is used to me saying yes to everything but now it's over
if she says anything i will then throw her i just mimic and adapt energy to what you actually say out loud
imagine she says stuff like "i notice i'm always the only one making the first move to ask how are you" i wanna reply sooo bad "well you didn't notice the other parts? you ask but the chat only revolves around you see you didn't even replied to what i say so why do you need me to ask too when you already have ypurself doing it"
