2 almost 3 months ago in March, I shared a long winded post about my former romantic interest, seeking advice on how to accommodate his “condition”, and barely a month later uploaded another detailing how I broke things off.
This 37 almost 38 year old man played in my face for 7 months. Took advantage of my kindness and willingness to accommodate his circumstances because I try to be understanding, and after thinking I FINALLY heard the last of him in April when I “ghosted” (since blocking him 7-8 times wasn’t clear enough that we’re over), he somehow found and reached out to me yesterday.
Much like in previous encounters, he’d “apologise” and love-bomb me. Unfortunately for him, my attachment is nonexistent. The same way I cut off an ex who I love dearly but separated myself because of his avoidant attachment, I’m doing the same to him. Because the thing is, I feel like this is the universe testing to see if I’ve learned my lesson, and the answer is yes.
I’m not going to reconnect with anyone who isn’t bringing peace and clarity to my life when I’m creating liberty and stability for myself, I rebuke the chaos and calamity. I have so much love for people, even those who’ve hurt and wronged me, but apologies can’t fix everything, especially with unchanged behaviour.
Neither the avoidant or this former romantic interest’s situation have changed and if I allow them into my life they’re going to cause turbulence. Sometimes boundaries is enough, other times they aren’t. Boundaries with either party wouldn’t be enough, no contact is necessary and that’s the route I’m taking.
I would rather long for someone and reminisce than to be in contact and feel drained.
