I must admit she’s a very organized hoarder. Our garage and the attic are packed with boxes, most of them have a label. She thinks it’s reasonable to “collect” potentially useful or memorable things, and since she takes the time to label and pack them, she sees no problem in it... I, on the other hand, see a BIG problem. It’s literally walls of boxes that take up our entire attic and two thirds of the garage, with a small path in between.

I’ve talked to her many times about giving some things to those who need them. I thought that appealing to her practical side would work, she’s adamant about recycling, so I tried to reason with her that leaving all those things lying in boxes for years without touching them is wasteful, while someone else could be using them. But she has a hard time parting with things, and whenever she needs some old dress from 10 years ago, she’s quick to point out that she has been right to tuck it away…

I’ve tried to share my concerns patiently and lovingly. I’ve tried to set boundaries, the main rule being that we do not keep any of that in the rooms, but she manages to buy bigger boxes and just keeps adding to the piles in the attic, with very rare attempts to get rid of something. That [Miracle] happens once a year during the spring when she unpacks some stuff, puts aside a thing or two, then proclaims that she has no time to sort it all, or that this stuff will certainly be useful for our future kids, or some other excuse… These excuses never come to the core of it, and she would never admit that she has a problem. I kind of knew we were different in that regard when we were getting together. She liked to joke that I’m such a minimalist I’d have no issues living in a barn, as long as there’s Internet and a laptop [which is not entirely untrue]... while she needs all sorts of “comfort things”, even when those are stuck in boxes or gathering dust in the garage.

Whenever I try to covertly throw anything shoddy away, we have a tantrum. Usually, she does not notice it immediately, and I’m sure if she didn’t adamantly label her boxes, she would never notice. She does not need those things! But the last time I dared to get rid of all her old magazines in one go [I needed more space in the garage], she noticed it three months later, and we spent days exchanging angry looks and reproaches, while I was lectured about all the reasons why I should have asked her first and why she needed those old worthless magazines...

What are my options? I understand that I can’t change her, but I don’t want her to get worse, like the old ladies that bring all sorts of junk into the house. I had a crazy thought to move to another place before we get married, just for the sake of decluttering and packing all the stuff we have [some of it could “get lost” before it gets to us]. But we haven’t yet fully paid off the loan for this house, and my pragmatic side tells me this will be a very costly solution. Perhaps someone could advise better ways to discard of old things without getting into another fight? Thanks.

Life feels so hard for me. I can't find peace anytime. I’m not attending classes properly, always running here and there to avoid people due to social anxiety. I haven't made any friends, and those who want to be friends with me, I don’t like them. At home, arguments happen every 3 to 4 days between my parents over small things.

My sister and I have no one except our parents. Our relatives are toxic; they always comment on us because our parents don’t have a son. I’m sure my parents also think about it, even if they don’t show it. All our relatives believe that having a son is like having a treasure for the future because he will take care of his parents when they get old, while daughters move on after marriage.

It makes me feel bad for my parents because all their relatives have sons, but they don’t. I can see that my father has to handle a lot—managing his business, looking after my mother, my sister, and me. Yet, we haven’t made them happy even once. We haven’t achieved anything in life. My sister and I are just average in studies. She is also shy and doesn’t talk much.

We don’t talk openly to our father because we are shy. I have social anxiety.

I feel like a burden to them. I wish the Almighty had made me a boy.

My grandmother is extremely toxic. She always speaks badly about me, my sister, my mom, and even sometimes about her own son. She doesn’t like us. She loves her grandsons more than herself, spending thousands of rupees on them. We don’t want her money, but my uncles are stealing my father’s hard-earned money. They have more sources of income than us, yet it’s still not enough for them. My grandmother wants my father’s business to go to her grandsons.

We haven’t even been able to build a comfortable home for ourselves, while all our relatives have their own comfortable houses and bungalows.

Sometimes, I wish I was never born or that I had been a boy.

I used to think that one day, I would get so educated that all my relatives would be silenced. But now, I have lost all my focus on studies.

Everyone else seems so happy in their lives, so why can’t we? We are all under so much stress.

I have four goals that I want to achieve this new year:

1. to have a job that makes me happy and fulfilled
2. to find a theater company in nj that I can belong to.
3. to find a group of friends I can call my second family
4. the freedom to live the live I want to live

the last one is the most important to me.

I have lived with my parents for most of my life ever since I graduated from college. I have a boyfriend of 10 years, but I’m still not sure where I see us going to be honest not that I don’t love or care about him. It’s just I’ve never had a chance to live independently or have something of my own that was just for me. I feel really guilty about it. I feel selfish but I want to have a life of my own. The other wishes correspond with the most important one if I could have these wishes come true that would be a gift more precious than any kind of gold. How can I make these wishes happen?

I don’t know if I’m transgender or not. It’s very confusing, and it makes my life complicated. Two years ago, I was certain I wanted to transition to female. I had been dreaming about being a woman, trying on dresses and bras. I've cosplayed female characters many times. I told my Internet friends I preferred to have “she / her” pronouns, and for a while I went under the nickname Barbara. In childhood I liked to play with dolls when my sister didn’t see, and in computer games I choose female characters 90% of the time.

On the other hand, I have lots of doubts. I’ve read about transitioning, taking hormones, and I’m not sure that’s what I want. It also costs a ton of money. I started dating a guy, and now I’m more comfortable with my current identity. We have lots of common interests, and I’m feeling more reassured that I like being male. I’m still eyeing cute Japanese girls with jealousy, but I don’t understand if it’s important for me to become one of them.

Are there any tests or mental checks that will make my choice easier?