If you're not seeing a psychiatrist or therapist now, paranoia on top of depression is really a sign that it's time to seek help outside your usual support network. Find the time for yourself and make an appointment. Leave the child with your husband for a day. A specialist will choose another SSRI for your mood swings and your anxiety, and in two-three weeks you’ll be a new person! They will also help you manage your worries about drugs. I hope you can get some help, both mentally and physically. You deserve to be happy!
I was anti-meds for a while, but today I realize they help me function. Side effects are usually very rare. And documentaries often exaggerate things and sometimes even fake the facts. I think your symptoms increased and even transformed into paranoid fears *because* you stopped taking the medications, while the root causes of your depression were still not addressed. You should consider seeing a therapist. Meds help, but they’re essentially crutches needed only while you’re doing the real work managing your root causes.
If something didn’t help you or maybe helped at first but then began to make things worse, turning to baseline would be the most logical decision. I imagine you stopped taking an antidepressant you’ve taken for many years, and after a while your symptoms worsened?
Brian meds are not all the same, and they all work differently. I assure you there’s no conspiracy; it’s simply a trial and error process. Perhaps the time has come to change your medications. Please consult the doctor who has prescribed your initial medication, or, if you feel distrustful, find a new doctor and ask them about it. The key point is to try something else and not let your depression become clinical.
@Lucas Guillemette Yeah, not seeing anyone right now. I can’t leave the kid with my husband, he’s always busy working. Sometimes I think he doesn’t care how I feel. His solution to everything is take pills, doesn’t work – take even more pills. He thinks it’s not that bad and that I’m not trying hard enough. I want change, I want to move to another place. I’m so tired I just can’t afford doctors right now
@Laura At first my antidepressant helped with my depression immensely, and then after five-six years, it just stopped working and got me in a state of hypnosis, when I sort of lived on autopilot, not feeling joy or lack of it. Just nothing. I called my doctor and he recommended we double the dosage! I can’t trust he has good intentions after that. I lived like a robot, doing what I had to do for the sake of my family, but in the end, I decided to stop taking it. The med did make me more motivated that's true. I find it hard to cope with daily tasks now that I’m not stimulated.
@tai05xo Of course, your husband cares. It’s hard to understand what those going through depression feel when you haven’t suffered from it yourself. You have to learn to accept that he loves you even when he doesn’t show you the needed amount of attention. It's also important for your well-being to believe that you can find a medicine that will help you. I assure you it's life-changing. The tough part is admitting to yourself that you need it.
Talk to your husband. Let him know you want help and you’d appreciate his support in it. Try not to let it all out on him. You have to find ways to cope that don't involve shouting or putting your loved ones under too much pressure. You can do it!
@Lucas Guillemette Thanks. It’s so confusing that my significant other doesn’t fully understand what I’m going through. We’ve always been 100% open with each other. You’re right, I shouldn’t overreact, I must take care of my family first.
Hey, I’ve been in your shoes. I've been depressed for two years and unwilling to get help. I've been coping with it in whatever ways I could without actually properly confronting the real problems. Finally it got to the stage where I was becoming constantly moody and close to breaking down. It affected my work, it seriously ruined my social relationships (I lost many friends). I finally agreed to see a neurologist, and she prescribed me antideps. At that point, I thought it couldn’t be worse. It could! Those antideps made me suicidal! I had to leave my job over it, and it took me some time before I found the nerves to visit another doctor. I was prescribed other kinds of antideps and stayed on them for a long time. Could find a new, better job. I stopped taking the meds over a year ago, since I was told I’m in remission now. It finally feels I’m back on track with my life again. Why not give antidepressants another try? What's the worst that could happen?
I typically find myself assuming others have negative intentions, but it definitely worsens when I'm depressed. I wouldn’t call it paranoia, maybe more like severe pessimism? I also isolate myself when I’m in the deep of it because I feel like no one cares and it’ll be better if I’m gone. But the wave passes, and things are back to normal. My doctors literally called it psychotic depression, but I’m NOT saying you’re having it. You should see a psychiatrist; they might be able to help you out.
Not all medications make you like a robot, there are combinations that do wonders for people. You just have to work with your doctors to find the right one. It’s disappointing that there’s no quick fix for it, but if you find the right combo of medications and therapy for you, you’ll forget about depression forever.
Regular exercise of atleast 40 min is an effective treatment. See if you can inculcate this habit everyday and just walking out in the morning and taking sunlight also helps. Exercise boosts levels of chemicals called serotonin and dopamine in the brain which can lift your mood. But severe depression requires antidepressants along with it CBT. CBT would help you understand your thoughts, behaviour and how they affect you. It will help you to change the way you think, feel, behave in the present. Generally many go through postpartum depression after a birth of a child which if not treated properly leads to resurfacing back.
You need to talk to your therapist about the medication and if the dosage or medication can be changed. you also need to rule out if there is any hormonal changes or any other problem which is unidentified. For that therapist would want to know further details of how long your anger stays? how intense it is rate it out of 10? do you feel sense of relief after the outburst immediately? Do you feel guilty or sorry or embarrassed for your action after every episode?
You need to trust your therapist so just communicate with him the issues you are facing to take the med, If you are not convinced with your current therapist try seeing another therapist.
But therapy is really important for you so that it doesn't get worse for you.
Along with exercise, therapy you need to do few lifestyle changes like: