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Our free therapy courses to deal with family issues
Veena Choudhary
18d
Specialist

It is understandable that you are feeling pressured by family expectations and caught between your love life and their choice for you. Remember it is important to balance your personal goals too. So first do these activities :


  • calm yourself down. Now i want you to just want you to only picturise yourself and your current, future.

# write what is your goal,

# how do you see yourself 1 yr from now, 2 yrs from now and 5 yrs from now.


what do you want should be the priority and once you are clear with that then things would fall in place as you would be determined to do it for yourself.


  • I want you to write down what job do you want. write down in detail what are the most important things required to keep you happily working. is it pay or the social image etc. Once you write it down you get an conviction of what is important for you. write it in a chart and see it everyday and work towards it. This will also help you to handle stress as you know what is your ultimate goal. This will also give you confidence to talk to your parents about what is right for you.


  • You can take a temporary private job till you are preparing for govt job exam. This will help you to understand how private job works for you, how do you feel doing it. You can ask your parents if they can give you one chance to experience it.


  • Now lets talk about the person you love. I want you to think what are the most essential qualities required in a marriage. name 5. now assess the person whom you love has those qualities? how do you see your future with him? if you are determined he is the one for you and ticks all the quality options in the check list then go ahead and talk with your parents. show them what is important for you and why he is the perfect for you. When you keep your points more practical than emotional it would help you to make your parents understand. You can't convince your parents by saying i love him and i cant live without him as they would see you are just blinded by love and im-matured. Show them your matured enough to make decision by laying down your thoughts, expectation and how , why is your partner suitable for you. talk about his education, career, his qualities. You can also ask your parents what qualities do they see in your life partner. use those to highlight your current partner qualities.


  • You also need to understand why do your parents don't like him. Get to the root cause of it to assess if it is a misunderstanding. If you get to the bottom of it then you will be able to communicate to them of how he completes you and who is he as person. Listening to your parents is the key here. Understand their fear, concerns and clarify the doubts later. Plan a lunch or dinner to clear the misunderstanding with your partner. Let your parents know him better.


  • If your parents are still adamant then Is there any neutral party who can help you to communicate with your parents if you are not able to. some person who your parents trust and will be willing to listen and give it a chance.


  • Meditate everyday for 10 min. This will help you to calm your emotions and reduce down the stress. It will help you to think practically and do what works for you right.



Fr
Frances Miller
63d

Stay strong! Your life is yours to live, not anyone else's. I've seen many people break free from similar situations and thrive. Focus on your mental health first - consider seeking professional help or counseling. Your parents' emotional manipulation isn't okay. Remember, you're not responsible for their happiness. Build your career, love who you want, and create your own path. Your happiness matters more than societal pressure.

Em
Emi
63d

Life's too precious to live it for others. Follow your heart, but keep your head strong. You've got this!

do
dontcare
63d

@Emi this. so simple but so true

it's so unfair that your parents manipulate you like this. i hope everything's gonna be okay

do
dontcare
62d

@Emi honestly i feel like we're all just trying to figure things out day by day.

sometimes i scroll through these late at night when i can't sleep, and it's wild how many people are going through similar stuff. like, we're all just humans trying to make sense of this messy world. it's crazy how we can connect with complete strangers and feel less alone. i've been thinking a lot about how social media can be toxic but then places like this exist where people actually support each other.

my roommate thinks i spend too much time online but honestly where else can you have these kinds of conversations at 3am? sometimes i feel like the internet is the only place where people really get it. and yeah, maybe we're all just typing words into the void, but these words matter they reach people who need to hear them

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dontcare
62d

@Emi i love how different the internet feels during different times of day. like right now it's that weird hour where you're not sure if it's super late or super early, and everything feels more honest somehow?

it's wild how we're all experiencing different moments of the same day but can still connect like this. my roommate just got home from their night shift and gave me that look that says "you're still up?" but they don't understand that sometimes the best conversations happen when you're supposed to be sleeping. also random but i just noticed how many plants i can see from my desk, three of mine, two of my roommate's, and one that we're both pretending to take care of but is somehow still alive. maybe that's another metaphor for something but i'm too tired to figure out what

Em
Emi
62d

@dontcare Wow thank you! The simplest things are proven to be the best ones!

Em
Emi
62d

@dontcare Life has this funny way of bringing the right people together at the right moment! I just made myself a huge cup of chamomile (my go-to for these kinds of conversations). You're so right about the 3am conversations, there's something magical about connecting with others when the world is quiet. I think we're all just looking for that validation that our feelings matter, that our experiences are real and meaningful. The internet can be such a double-edged sword, but spaces like this remind me of why I keep coming back

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Cheryl H
63d

The world is changing, and traditional paths aren't the only routes to happiness and success. Your parents' generation had different challenges and values, but times have evolved. Professional counseling could help you navigate this situation while maintaining your mental health.


Explore job opportunities that align with your passions. Build a support network outside your family. Join teacher communities or professional groups. Document your achievements and growth. Stay focused on your goals while taking care of your emotional wellbeing. You're not alone in this journey. Many others have faced similar challenges and found their way through

ro
robsmith343252
63d

Every person has the right to choose their own path in life. Your struggles are valid, and it's okay to prioritize your happiness. The hardest choices lead to the most beautiful outcomes. Your relationship has stood the test of time, which is remarkable. I BEILIve taht your resilience will carry you through this period. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and support your choices

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starrrr
63d

don't let anyone box you into their definition of succes!!!! find your inner strength❤️y our life belongs to you!!!!

Ar
Army
63d

This situation requires immediate attention to your mental health. Living authentically is more important than meeting others' expectations. Please reach out to a mental health professional, suicidal thoughts are serious and need to be addressed. Your parents' behavior shows signs of emotional manipulation and control. You need to set some clear boundaries while working with a therapist to develop coping strategies


Your happiness matter more than societal expectations. Don't limit yourself based on others' expectations

Pa
Padma Mehra
63d

Hi sister, I understand what you going through. I was in similar situation with my now wife. Her parents were also against our marriage and did same drama. They also threatened us, called her bad daughter, emotional blackmail and all that stuff

We dated for 8 years before marriage. Her parents found out after 6 years and it was hell after that. They tried everything to separate us. They even brought some rishtas for her. Her mother used to cry whole day and father stopped talking to her.


But we stayd strong. We knew we love each other and want to spend life together. My wife was also very depressed that time. She also couldn't sleep properly and was always tensed. But I supported her and told her everything will be fine

Finally we decided to get married. Her parents did lot of drama on wedding day also. They came to mandap and cried, created scene. But we still got married. Its been 5 years now. We are very happ

But sad part is her parents still don't talk to us. They didn't accept us till now. Initially it was very difficult for my wife. She used to cry a lot. But now she accepted that her parents will never change


So my suggestion is if you really love your partner and he is good person who will take care of you, then don't leave him because of parents pressure. Parents think they know best for us but sometimes they are wrong. They are stuck in old thinking

Jo
Joseph C.
62d

Listen, you're 29, and it's YOUR life we're talking about here. I've seen too many friends cave into parental pressure and end up miserable. The emotional manipulation with threats of self-harm is NOT okay - that's actually abusive behavior. You've been with your partner for 13 years, that's a significant relationship that deserves respect. Think about it - would you rather live with regret following someone else's dreams, or build your own path? Teaching in private schools can be incredibly rewarding, and many private institutions offer great career growth opportunities. Salary isn't everything. If your partner supports you and makes you happy, that's what matters. Have you considered couples counseling to help navigate this situation? You might also benefit from setting firm boundaries with your parents. Their social image is their problem, not yours

De
Dexter
62d

having worked with many teachers, i can tell you that success in teaching isn't about government versus private, it's about passion and dedication. you need to focus on your mental health first before making any major career decisions tho

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