Hi, AFAIK, there are no tests, there simply can not be. Identity is a nuanced thing, and no predetermined questions with checkboxes can define who you are. At the end of the day, only you can choose. I understand that it’s frustrating, but try to slow down and enjoy the moment. Keep questioning and doubting. Eventually, you’ll find the right answer for yourself.
What does your inner voice tell you? If you don’t know how much transitioning is important for your happiness, it could be that you’re simply not ready yet. There’s nothing wrong with that! Transitioning can’t be undone, so it’s a decision for life. You need to be sure this is what you want.
Your dreams and preferences definitely seem to have trans vibes. Seeing a therapist and talking through it might be a good idea. Just make sure they specialize in gender questions, so you don't to waste your time.
@Fergus MacWilliam Right now my inner voice is silent. Two years ago, I’d say it was screaming to take hormones then and there. But I researched more and got stuck with doubts.
Hey, you seem to be in a gender crisis. It’s OK, a lot of us go through it periodically. Self-discovery is a journey, and it should be a positive experience. You can play with pronouns and see how you feel about female or male ones. It's normal to explore your gender identity. The most important thing is, once you find who you are, to accept yourself and be at peace with it.
Can you be gender-fluid? If so, these feelings may come and go. On some days you’ll identify more as a male, and on others you’ll feel more comfortable as a female or even neutral. I suggest exploring various non-binary gender identities.
What exactly do you mean by “complicated life”? Do your doubts make you feel sad or depressed? It’s great you’re in a relationship now. If your confused feelings don’t interfere with your happiness and achievements, then you can go on with your life and watch how your perception evolves along the way. If you decide to transition, it’s up to you to start it at any time, if you decide not to change anything, that’s fine too!
@JoyMary Hey, thanks, I don’t know much about gender fluid, I’ll read about it. From the way you’re describing it, it sounds very unstable to me. I’d like to identify solidly as either male or female.
It is totally normal to feel female sometimes and identify yourself male sometimes. You re just discovering who you are in this process. Many people no matter what age are experiencing changes in who they are attracted to and how they identify. This is called fluidity and it is totally normal. For gender fluid individuals gender identity can change over minutes,days, weeks or even longer periods. You may use different pronouns and present differently based on your current gender identity.
if you are interested in figuring out whether you are gender fluid. You can explore it in different ways. Here are few ideas:
Think deeply about your Gender:
Journalling your thoughts will help you. Question yourself and write how would you identify if you were free of societal pressures? remember you shouldn't feel pressured to identify as anything unless you want to. You don't have to description for you or pronoun for you if you don't want to. Just enjoy experiencing what ever you feel on that day or time.
Keep exploring your identity and understanding your own identity. Engage in self reflection, research and conversation with trusted individuals or support groups to gain insight and clarity about your gender fluidity and see where things take you.
# How do you feel dressing in masculine clothing?
# How do you feel dressing in feminine clothing?
# What does gender mean to you?
# When you say you are reassured that you like being male? how long have you been feeling like that?
# write down how do you feel everyday as a male. as you said you are reassured that you like being male. notice if there is any sudden change of feeling? observe yourself for 2 weeks.
There is no 100% accurate test which will help you in making choice. The most accurate result is the one you feel like to believe in because it is your body, your emotions and feelings, your life and your choice. So just retrospect what do you feel.