Hello hon, so sorry to hear that I hope you're feeling better right now
I really feel you got blamed and dragged into something you barely had a hand in, I mean your friend loved she eloped and you are being held responsible and blamed, but I feel you really should turn into an extreme self care person, from your publication I sensed how sensitive you are and easily anything can effect you, things happen but shouldn't let it effect you so much, you should learn to get past things and continue with your life.
About the lethargy which hit all of us during quarantine is very common since I witnessed a bunch of such cases, fyi me being one of them. I just felt like doing nothing, keep delaying things, lying about tasks being completed, then one day I just crossed that line of being anymore guilty, I was just thing to myself, who am I fooling, them or myself, my future my education, whom is this lethargy gonna effect them or ME, and that was it, I decided targets I joined gym to keep me energetic. What I'm trying to say is that sometimes you just need to decide and keep doing, sometimes it really is that simple, just keep doing and going, even if it hurts.
I am in my targeted medical college right now and apparently with my dream body, don't spend your time guilt tripping and overthinking rather invest it into something fruitful
Hope this helps, Power to you
I understand you my friend, but I feel you need to build this protective shell around you lest anybody or any situation can turn out to be so negatively impactful, which will be good for nothing.
Let's take this scenario your friend eloped with whom she loved, she did what she wanted and was good for her, and so should you, interrogations are normal I understand but do not let it bother your peace and mental health, and protect it at any cost. Secondly the same issue but from your parents that they're blaming you and shattering your inner peace, you need to make them understand the harm they're doing to you, because they out of all should be your biggest support and go to people, which they aren't right now. So talk to them and tell them you feel hurt for all this and you need support from them
About your civil services exam, you should know that anything you want or wish to achieve requires time efforts and dedication, it's okay if you couldn't achieve it yet, that doesn't mean you never will, of course you can, do not let anybody tell you to change your goal just because it's taking long to achieve it, if you really want it then no one else's opinion should matter
@bubu Thank you for taking your time to make me feel better by your words. I make sure try to improve myself in good way
@stefan
Thank you for giving me some words to think and have a different perspective of the situations which it does'nt affect but to make everything in right way
@Dr. Elisabeth Jones
Thank you for guiding me for building my life in the way that I expect to be. Definitely I am going to try this out to make my life better way and I update the process for sure. Thank you dr
@Rashmi I am glad I could help
Hello!
You are writing that you have many difficulties in your life now. Solving everything at once will definitely not work. Therefore, I suggest you do it step by step. One simple, but effective technique “Balance Wheel” will definitely help. I’ll briefly describe it below.
On average, the life of each person consists of six to eight spheres. These are health, work, relationships with the opposite sex, hobbies, finances, recreation, friends, personal development. In order for our life to be happy and harmonious, it is important to pay equal attention to all spheres. It happens sometimes that we devote too much time to something. In this case, other spheres begin to lag behind. As for your situation, it becomes obvious: excessive enthusiasm for the smartphone leads to the fact that the spheres of relationships with the family and studies suffer. To avoid such distortions, it is important to start gradually aligning other spheres.
Let’s get to the technique. Take a sheet of A4 paper, one black pencil and two colored ones. Think about the spheres in your life and write them down in a separate notebook.
As an example, I will list the main ones once again. Choose from them 6-8 spheres in your life:
- work;
- health;
- hobbies;
- relationships with the opposite sex;
- finance;
- family (your family or parents);
- recreation;
- friends;
- travel;
- education;
- confession (spirituality);
- personal development.
Then take a sheet of A4 paper and draw a circle with a black pencil almost on the entire sheet, leaving a little space on the sides. Then divide the sheet of paper into equal parts. There should be as many parts as you have spheres in your life. Then name each sector of the circle.
Next, in each sector (sphere), mark with a colored pencil how satisfied you are now with this or that sphere on a scale from one to ten.
For example, health - 5, hobbies - 3, work - 6, etc.
Then take a pencil of a different color and put as many points in each sector as you would like this sphere of your life to be. For example, health – now 5, but you want 7. Or hobbies - now 3, but you want 6. But you don’t need to be a perfectionist and put 10 points in each sector. Put as much as you are comfortable with now, and as much as you can really improve this sphere. It is possible that in some sector you want to leave the same number of points or put less, that’s okay too.
Then, for each sphere, write down in a notebook the actions that will help you improve it. Notice that the number of actions must correspond to the difference in points. For example, health: now 5, but you want 7. It means you need to write down two actions in this sphere. The first one will improve it to six points, and the second one - to seven points. For example, the first step is to start jogging in the morning. The second one is to take a checkup in the next two weeks.
If in some sphere you left the same number of points, don’t write any actions in it. It means you leave this sphere as it is.
In the end, you’ll get a list of several steps for each sphere. What to do with it? Choose one sphere, for example, the one in which you are lagging behind the most and start from there. Write out a plan for one or two months. In your case, I would recommend starting with “hobbies and interests”, since doing pleasant things will fill you with positive emotions and give you inner support. After you feel that this sphere gets better (on average, I recommend allocating 1-2 months for one sphere), you can move on to the next one.
The most important thing is to take small consistent steps. No need to try to reach ten points at a time. It is much more effective to take small actions every day that will ultimately lead you to the desired result.
In the future, periodically do a self-diagnosis and keep track of what sphere of your life is lagging behind. Ideally, it is important to constantly pay equal attention to all spheres of life. But in reality, this is not always possible, so you can do it sequentially, moving from one sphere to another.
This method will allow you to build external and inner supports, teach you not to get stuck in some spheres too much, for example, in the relationships, and make your life harmonious.