Post
J-
J-ane
1y ago

Scared to become an alcoholic

I don’t crave alcohol, but whenever I drink I can’t stop and get drunk very quickly. I am an emotional person and I get so stressed at my work that I’m waiting for my weekends to lie low and do nothing. I have absolutely no desire or energy to go out. There’s always a bottle of wine and 2-3 beers in my fridge. I drink during lunch, then have some more at dinner, and by 6pm I’m out of my wits and just black out wherever I am. The worst nightmare happens in the morning, with debilitating hangover and depressive thoughts. I can’t drink on Sundays or I simply won’t be able to work the next day. So I just live through the day as best I can and tell myself this was the last time I’ve ruined it. After one or two days I’m back to normal and forget how bad I’d felt, and next weekend the cycle repeats.

This Saturday my mother arrived uninvited and found me puking on my sofa. I don’t quite remember the rest, but she stayed, and the next morning it got me. I felt so defeated and embarrassed. I was scared to talk to her. She looked so worried. She told me about the old guy I knew who had died two years ago, drank himself to death. I didn’t know him well and he was 63, but I felt sick to be compared to him. Am I that lost? My mother thinks I need help, she begged me to take a vacation and do something about it. I promised her to consider. I still feel terrible and barely cope with my work. Friday is approaching and for the first time I dread it. I don’t even enjoy drinking. I’ve become boring, lacking creativity, rarely meeting with friends, because I lack motivation to do so. I don’t know how I am going to break out of this cycle. I know I need to before I lose myself all together.

Specialist answer
Veena Choudhary
1y
Specialist

Hi,


You need to assess and ponder over when consuming alcohol how does it make you feel? like when you say improving your mood write down in detail for yourself improving mood from office stress or it makes you forget anything else in life which makes you feel low like :

#any relationship issues

# loneliness because of no social life or friends

# any past trauma

# peer pressure or work related stress (find out another solution for this which makes things easier for you)

# Are you drinking to do things which you would normally not do


using alcohol as an coping mechanism is not only unhealthy but it can indicate there is a further underlying problem.


only if you are aware of the reason you can address it from the root. If not problem will always exist and alcohol too.


For this you also need to write down before alcohol how do you feel, what do you feel and how do you address those feelings. Are you running away from those feelings and drinking alcohol then its a problem to worry about.


You should also see if you can try this by not having alcohol at house and see how does it feel on weekends by delaying drink as its not there at house. How long can you stay without it, how does it make you feel without drinking write it down.


You should try to occupy yourself on weekends by trying something new. you should ask yourself what do you enjoy doing or what would bring you joy just do that like cooking, reading or going out for walk or just go for a movie, playing some sport.


You should also make a change plan and write down why do you want to stop alcohol. Why this change is important to you and how have you decided to do it. take a print out or put in your phone notes and set an alarm which keeps reminding you the goal and keeps you motivated.


Before this habit of alcohol what did you do on weekends? how did you spend can you revive those activities back?


But at the end along with the tips you still need to go to a therapist as its important for your physical and mental well being. You and your problems are important for you. There are lot of free counselling apps and organisations online who are available and can help you. just reach them.

An
Anonymous
1y

It’s good you’re thinking about it now, it can get really ugly later in life. I’ve been trying to quit alcohol for two months, and most days I can stay sober. It's very hard, but I'm doing it for my daughter

If you ever need to talk, I'm here

lo
low_bite_374
1y

It’s probably best to dig deeper and understand why you began to drink alcohol while alone at home. Whether it’s anxiety, emotional overload, or depression, talking to a professional will surely be beneficial. Of course, it’s wise to address the alcohol issue first, so that it doesn’t stress you so much. Then you can address the causes. And in any case, do not just stop drinking on your own. See a doctor. Withdrawals can be very, very dangerous.

ra
random coffee
1y

There’s nothing that can’t be cured when you really want to be cured. I was an alcoholic for a short time in my twenties. I never realized until I found myself drinking every single day and my girlfriend confronted me about it. My work used to be very stressful too, and that’s one reason. As soon as I switched to contract work from home, life changed for the better. Another reason that helped me was that I began to donate blood on a regular basis, so had to say no to all alcohol. It’s all about motivation. You need to firmly decide that you want no more such scenes in your life. Take that help if you need it, there’s no shame in that. I know it’s scary at first, but looking back one year from now you’ll be thankful you did it. Wishing you best of luck!

El
Elizabeth
1y

It takes a long time to become physically addicted to alcohol. However, if you’re using it to numb some other painful feelings, you can be emotionally addicted.

You can try to make a resolution and cut back on your weekend intake on your own. Use this coming weekend as a test. I think you’re already quite shaken from the last experience and your fear may help you. If you see you can’t cope with it, getting help is absoluely necessary. Please take care of you! 🙏

th
thomas
1y

Acknowledging that you have a problem is step one. When I was younger (university times) I’d get super excited about the weekend because I could go to a bar and drink. I guess I was never really addicted, but I was psychologically dependent. There was no drinking culture back then; it was all the more the merrier. Now I drink very rarely, on special occasions like New Year or somebody’s birthday.

You can try a simple test. Set a goal: can you make it one week without alcohol? If there’s no withdrawal, then you don’t have a physical addiction (yet). But you need to do something about the emotional part. HOW is less important. You need to know WHY. Why you’re avoiding social activities and taking booze… I recommend you to consult a therapist about that.

Be
Ben
1y

You’re right: it’s a nasty cycle. And you can break it, you are not trapped. Perhaps you were weak before, but this is your wake-up call. You can do it! The story of your life is written by you. You are the author, you can change the story anytime!

Bl
Bladerunner
1y

I was at the same stage when I finally stopped. Miserable from hangovers, crippling shame and anxiety in the mornings. I read later that alcohol is a depressant, did you know that? It’s funny that the whole world drinks in order to relax and improve the mood, and by doing so we literally make our brain suffer! I advise you to start a diary and write down in detail exactly how you felt that day and all the previous days when you passed out. You say you forget too quickly and that makes you start it over. Well, make it unforgettable! Write it all down and write that you want to change. Then turn to your notes every time you feel the urge to drink a bottle. Trust me, a lot of us have been there! I honestly hope this Christmas hangover was the last one in my life… You’ll be all right. I am rooting for you.

ab
abandoned
1y

I haven’t taken a single drop of alcohol in five years. Being hangover free is awesome! Sometimes such days when you feel at your lowest and truly embarrassed are the blessings you needed. You can revisit this particular day in your mind and remember what your mother said and how sick you felt the following day. Use this incident as a learning experience so that you can avoid it next time. This will strengthen your resolve to free from the toxic habit of drinking every week. Addiction is hideous, but life is beautiful once you recover. Hang in there!

Da
Daniel
1y

This was me. It’s amazing how quickly we forget the blackouts and the oblivion, and go right back to the same behavior. Those who say that drinking is habit-forming are absolutely right. :( What helped me was realizing that alcohol didn't bring anything valuable to my life. It only made my depression and insomnia worse. You seem to be coming to the same conclusions. It’s not worth it. Once you make up your mind, I bet it’ll be easy for you to quit. You are not an alcoholic!

J-
J-ane
1y
Author

@thomas Thanks. I’ve never been to therapy and have never actually spoken about my emotions to anyone. I didn’t even talk to my mother that day. I simply told her I had problems at work, but it’s not true. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with a therapist. And I feel there are many people with issues much more serious than mine who deserve to be listened to more than I do. Somehow I don’t feel like my personal issues matter enough for therapy

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