I am a muslim girl from India studying in engineering college and currently in 2nd year. I have Social Anxiety from years , I am fed up of this and I am posting here since last 2 years and I am in same position from last year's , I have no improvement in my anxiety , I want to attend public speaking classes , but there is no classes here with this. I want to improve myself. I gave exams of 3rd sem , last exam was on 7th dec , after my holidays started , and my college will start from 30th dec , and I am in anxiety from starting of my holidays and my anxiety just increase because we are having our director of the college as our subject teacher , she will teach us one subject from this sem , thinking about this really making me anxious. She is very strict about timings , uniforms etc. I don't wear uniform and wear a burkha and cover my face with a mask because of two reasons that we have to cover ourselves in our religion and due to my anxiety.
I don't have any problem with the first one but now because our director will teach us , she will only allow us with uniform, she said we are only allowed to wear a stole not more than that , not a face mask too , its really making me stressed , anxious and what not. I will not comfortable without the mask because I can hide my expressions, my anxiety. I @m thinking that people will judge my looks , my appearance and I am an fat , overweight girl, I will not look good in the uniform , the uniform we have to wear is shirt and jeans or t shirt. Everyone will make fun of me , and it's not only in my head , may be some of them really make fun of me , I have saw that , the attendance we have to maintained above 75 in a single subject. I cannot bunk my classes too , last time I have avoided my presentation, I have posted that problem too , this time it's more serious, I was thinking that I should leave this but my parents have already paid so much of their money , they will get so dissappoint. I can't do this too because it will spoil my future too and I don't want to play with my future but what can I do. Is there any idea that I can reduce my social anxiety within one week.
How can I attend classes this sem without warring my burkha and a mask, how can I answer the questions if any faculty asked me in front of everyone especially without a mask. I have no confidence in myself. It takes me so much time for me to relax in the class. If any faculty said that we have to explain or etc , my body start to shiver , I get lost in my overthinking zone. I can't speak this to my parents too , they already have so much stress and I don't want to give them another. Please help me to overcome this. There is so much that I am dealing in my life but it will get too long here.
