I recently brought a book titled “A New Earth - Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose” by Eckhart Tolle and it opened my eyes to a new perspective on “ego”. In chapters one and two, it talks about the usage of self-identifying pronouns such as “I”, “me” and “mine” that I found fascinating and is slowly reframing my perception. It talks about how the ego survives off “having” — the concept of “ownership”, and when we use self-identifying pronouns claiming people, places and things, it’s essentially the ego seeing these things as an extension of ourselves.
An example the book describes: “This is identification with objects, which means investing things, but ultimately thoughts that represent things, with a sense of self, thereby deriving an identity from them.
When "my" toy breaks or is taken away, intense suffering arises. Not because of any intrinsic value that the toy has […] but because of the thought of “mine.” The toy became part of the child's developing sense of self, of “I.” Other interesting things I highlighted that I found to be thought-provoking:
• “We cannot really honour things if we use them as a means to self-enhancement.”
• “Investigate your relationship with the world of things through self-observation, and things that are designated with the word ‘my’. Do certain things induce a subtle feeling of importance or superiority?”
• “The ego tends to equate having with Being: I have, therefore I am. And the more I have, the more I am. The ego lives through comparison. How you are seen by others turns into how you see yourself.”
• “How do you let go of attachment to things? […] Attachment to things drops away by itself when you no longer seek to find yourself in them.”
• “The concept of ownership-is a fiction created by the ego to give itself solidity and permanency and make itself stand out.”
• “No ego can last for long without the need for more. Therefore, wanting keeps the ego alive much more than having.”
While I’m still reading through the book, these bullet points are particularly interesting to me because it also goes to talk about there’s ego in spirituality as well. It’s helped unmask unconscious things I’ve been saying or do while also allowing me to create and practice letting go other things. Like many others, I perceived ego as pride and selfishness but it’s so much more. While the ego may be unconscious, this has inspired me to become more aware in ways I might’ve not been previously.
