You literally described me at school. I could never stand up to those hideous girls who made my life hell. It all felt even worse, because, as a boy, I was expected to fight back. I was simply not brought up that way. I even had a teacher straight up tell me that if I stopped being so indecisive and self-isolating, I wouldn’t be bullied. There’s no good reason to harass others at school. It does not matter if your daughter is provoking someone or not, it's their choice to act on it! I urge you to press on and support your daughter in any way you can. I needed this support from my parents so much back then...

Have you considered changing schools? Even if you intervene in some way, kids have good memories. I doubt it your kid will be able to ever feel comfortable around those classmates.

I had this episode once with my mother. I was getting death threats; someone from my class was sending me these paper planes during the lesson. Well, when my mother found out, she came to our classroom and shouted at the top of her lungs that if this ever happened again she’d call the police and the person threatening me would go to jail. I remember how embarrassed I felt! On the plus side, no more threats! :)

I recommend your daughter takes up some self-defense sports for girls. Maybe Aikido or Jiu Jitsu. It’ll boost her confidence and might find her a few new friends along the way. And she’ll find it easier to stand up for herself proactively. I also agree on changing schools. Much easier to start from scratch than trying to fight back.

@Francisca Your mom rocks! I wish my parents were as cool as that. All they did was telling me to let go, to be above it all blah blah blah… As if it’s so easy for a teenager to be a robot. I think if the official processes to handle bullying do not work, anything that works will do.

@Francisca Thanks for your story! I wish I had that aggressive side that I could show to the world every once in a while. Being a single mother depletes me of energy... :( It is quite possible that in my efforts to be polite I'm being dismissed.

@tirelessWrestler We’re actually discussing it right now. My daughter does not like change, and, to tell the truth, neither do I. There’s no guarantee there will be no nasty classmates in a new school, and we can’t keep jumping from school to school. But we’re at a breaking point where she no longer wants to go to school in the morning because this situation outweighs any positive experiences she might have at school (she likes studying and gets pretty good grades). I’m wondering if it’s not better to wait at least till this semester ends.

Never stop defending your child! No matter what the school rules say. I don’t give a f*ck about rules and procedures when they fail to prevent bullying. If those children have zero consequences now, they’ll grow up into dictators, and we have enough of those by all means. I think teachers and the administration should be legally responsible for any accidents that happened during their working hours. I don’t think you can sue the school, like parents do in Canada, but you can at least inform the principle that you’re prepared to do whatever it takes to make their lives harder. Grown-ups must have accountability too, so that they can’t say, "She's overdramatizing." Show them that your daughter is not alone!!

@unregulated101 Thank you. Yes, I kind of feel I need to escalate and take it to the principle. The only factor that’s been stopping me is that it’s my word against those kids. I trust my daughter, but the teacher does not, which complicates it quite a lot.

Really sucks that this is happening to your daughter. The school simply doesn’t care. I like some of my school friends, but school stinks on so many levels!